💥And just like that… It’s our 50th episode of Higher Love: the podcast!!!!

Can you believe it?!

💟 We started this venture as a passion project for our 30th wedding anniversary (in lieu of renewing our vows in Italy...remember? 🤣)

And here we are almost 2 years later with 50 episodes under our proverbial podcasting belt.

I can't help but think how Reggie starts every episode by saying “It’s about to get real”

And whoa!! Did we get real😳😅

I don’t think either of us realized just how REAL we would get over these 50 episodes 😬

We’ve laughed and cried and argued and bantered(ofc!)

We’ve done deep dives into ALL the hot topics,

shared our successes and challenges and TMI (at times) a

most of all, we've been vulnerable in ways I hadn’t ever expected

And guess what??

We are just getting started!!!

💥Reggie has some BIG plans for our podcast

(or so he reveals)

You’ll have to listen in to discover what he's cooking up!!

💥Celebrate with us!

Take a listen to our 50th episode: Bigger IS Better TODAY!!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

I’m rolling in HOT on this week’s episode 😂

Listen- (it's all Reggie's fault) 🤣

Because, most times, when we sit down to record an episode of Higher Love...

My Enneagram 9 (my cool, calm, and collected self) is most present

But this week..

Thanks to that earlier (rather heated) discussion - the one that was all his fault 😂

(my spicy, punchy, aggressive) 8 Wing was still leading the charge

and she wasn’t ready to calm down any time soon 😤

Tbh, it led us quite nicely to this week’s actual podcast topic…

Banter

and the roll that banter plays in our relationship

It’s interesting, because the ONE thing people comment on ALL the time, is our ability (and apparent commitment) to banter

It took me some years to realize not all relationship engage in wordplay like we do

and that some couples actually NEVER banter 🤨

Personally, he and I can’t even imagine what that would be like in relationship...

I mean other than it’d be a LOT quieter, a LOT less chaotic and probably a LOT less chafing?? 😂

But, in all seriousness, what role does Banter actually play in our relationship?

And why is it, that he and I continue to indulge in such witty repartee for 30+ years?

⚠️Warning ⚠️ - spoiler alert -

the answer (at least in part) to this particular question, is right here in this week’s title 😉

Ep 49: Banter…as Foreplay??

How much access do you and your partner have in each others lives?

💸 Do you share access to all your money, credit cards and bank accounts

📞What about full access to each other’s phones and social media accounts

⏰And how about complete access to each other's personal space - their time and energy?

🤨When is access healthy and when can it become a detriment?

🤔Ultimately, is there such a thing as TOO much access in a relationship??

😅All these questions (and more) get answered in this week's episode of Higher Love the podcast

Ep 48: All Access is now live!!

Listen today and let us know what you think… How much access is TOO much??

How much of YOU…

of your persona, what you value, the way you move through the world,

and even the way you see yourself

must shift or change for the person you love?

How often should you oblige them and their needs, even if it creates conflict within your own desires?

Someone recently asked me this and personally, I find the answer to be super nuanced.

Part of me wants to cry NEVER!!

You should never lose yourself to your partner,

that instead, you should always remain true to yourself…

buttttt that wouldn’t be in keeping with my actual lived experience.

Partnership equates to compromise...

and sometimes -it feels like ALL compromise 😅

But partnership also equates to honoring yourself

And that honoring of self gets to take place while in the process of shifting and growing within the relationship

The trick then…

becomes finding a balance between the two 🙃

Since this question really got me thinking, I decided to ask Reggie about it and see what he thinks…

A lively discussion on the ongoing balancing act (sometimes battle😬) between the individual’s needs and the relationship’s needs ensued!

Ok friends😅I am not totally sure where to begin...

During this week’s podcast episode,

Reggie had me… disbelieving, speechless, incredulous, confused and ofc laughing… pretty much all at the same time 😝

Let me just start here...

Have you watched Love is Blind?

And do you have any particular thoughts or feelings about the show?

😳 Well friends, my husband sure does!😅 😂

He ((the man who, obtw, LOVES the Real Housewives))

not only REFUSES to watch Love is Blind,

but is appalled whenever Olivia and I have it on.

So much so, that we only watch it when he isn’t home.

But, the other day, he came home earlier than expected…

during the wedding episode…

right when Clay said no to AD…

at the altar😬

Y’all …

Reggie went coo coo for cocoa puffs...right here in our living room 😂

It’s not like him to express such intense emotion about things,

especially things on TV 😆

SO I thought it might be good to get to the bottom of this...

and I decided to ask him -on this week’s podcast of Higher Love-

What EXACTLY about Love is BLind is so offensive??

Well, my friends -insert a heavy sigh-

I apologize in advance 🥴

I opened Pandora’s box 😱

I unleashed the Dragon 😵‍💫

I unwittingly exposed something that should have remained unearthed 🤐

I mean, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised?

Knowing him like I do??

And yet, his response ...

I mean- it was totally unexpected

AND imho, TOTALLY ridiculous 😆

And wayyyyy more telling of his own stuff than of Love is Blind 😂

I'm curious- what do you think??

Episode 46: Is Love Blind? is now Live

and Good luck with this one my friends😉🤣

Pet Peeves- we’ve all got them

and can easily spot our partners’

- especially when you’ve been together for over 30 years 😜

Recently,

Reggie and I hosted a Live round of “Ask Us Anything” on my Instagram Stories

at the time, we were asked to share some of our Pet Peeves.

Reggie immediately replied with the sweet, albeit unrealistic answer

“.... none”

and went on to say that he couldn’t think of any🤨

Unnntil,

we started answering the next few “Ask Us Anything” questions

- which obtw, had NOTHING to do with Pet Peeves-

and suddenly,

he couldn’t stop listing off all the things that I do that he finds particularly annoying!😅

In that moment, I decided mayyyybe we needed to unpack this topic a little further?😂

And that maybe it would be a good idea to give these grievances more airtime than just the 60 seconds that an IG story allows?

Our latest podcast episode created the perfect space for the airing of grievances…

Interestingly enough,

while in the process of unpacking pet peeves,

we ended up in a totally different spot...

one where Reggie shares some of the things he likes best about me!😳

Funny things about grievances…

when you allow them to be aired out, be fully seen and heard in a safe space…

it often creates room so that whatever is lying beneath the surface can rise to the top and given the opportunity to be seen and heard as well 🥰

Many of us have searched -or are still searching- for “The ONE"

You know, the ONE …

that ONE person who, you find among billions, that’s your soulmate, your perfect match and sent by the universe to complete your life 🤣😜😝

Okayyyyy so it's not really like that!! 😂

I prefer to think of “the ONE” more like…

that person who not only “gets” you but also likes and loves you- and I’m talking about the REAL you

It’s that person you trust deeply and want to share ALL the things with - even conflict

It's someone who you can laugh and grow and play with

And ultimately, the ONE is that person who is ready and willing to partner with you through ALL of the ups and downs and in and outs that life can bring.

While Reggie and I found each other over 30 years ago…

Recently, I was asked how did we KNOW?

How, from a very early stage, and at a very young age, did we actually KNOW we were each other’s person?

I thought this was a great question

annnnd I realized I wasn’t totally sure 😅

Well, at least, I hadn't thought about it in a REALLY long time…

So, I figured this would be a great podcast convo!

Ep 44: The One is now streaming Live

PS- If you’ve found your person…how did you know they were the one??

Have you ever started an argument with the person you love just because…

well, you can?? 😂

Yeah,

I’ve been known to do this from time to time

What can I say??🤷🏽‍♀️

If you know anything about my personal archetypes or my natal chart you might reference the fact that ….

While I’m *mostly* a peaceful enneagram 9,

I also have a strong 8 wing 👊🏽

Enneagram 8’s, known as The Challenger, are self-confident, strong, and assertive. They revel in challenges and are well known conflict starters

Or maybe it’s the fact that Mars,

the masculine planet of strength and supremacy, known for its ability to instigate and take action

is conjunct (sits directly) my ascendant -our ascendent represents our outward expression and personality.

Or possibly it’s because Aries -the god of war-

is my IC, our IC represents our roots, it’s where we came from and also where we go to for comfort.

Any who grew up with me knows

I can be scrappy as heck

and if I’m comfortable enough to be scrappy and assertive with you…

you are truly my person😆

Orrrrr could it even be that mayyybe I am well aware of the fact that my scrappy, assertive, combative side is the part of my personality that Reggie is most attracted to??

I’m pretty sure it’s ALL of the above😝🤣😆😬

AlI know is, when this all comes together

- oftentimes out of the blue-

it’s like 👊🏽🥊🔥🚀🧨💪🏾☄️💣😵‼️

The most amusing part,

at least to me😂

is that there is rarely (if ever) an actual end to the conflict😆

it’s the CONFLICT that interests me…not the perfectly tidy solution

So naturally, I rarely (if ever) let the subject die because well, as you will hear...

where is the fun in that????

Ep 43:Beef is now live

The Orange Peel Theory ...have any of you tried this one on your partner?

It’s when, out of the blue,

you say to your partner “I feel like an orange…” and their response warrants either a green flag or a red flag 😅

A version of it has been trending on TikTok

and while at first I thought this trend was kinda silly,

it turns out there is actual psychology behind it.

The psychology is based on what are called “bids” or simple opportunities for engagement with your partner in everyday, often considered mundane ways.

The theory being that the more often a partner accepts your “bid” for attention and awareness, there is greater likelihood of long term relationship success

and that small, consistent acts of kindness (rather than grandiose gestures) deliver the core message that you truly care about someone.

The Orange Peel Theory is said to be a commentary on the nuts and bolts of your relationship…

So I decided to try the Orange Peel Theory on Reggie, live, on this week's podcast episode…

and the results well, are quite entertaining 😂

How do you think he did?

Ever since Reggie left his corporate gig, he’s been reevaluating ALL the things 😆

Mostly, he’s been trying to figure out what he wants to do next - which hasn’t been easy.

Much of his challenge has been around allowing himself to do what he actually FEELS like doing…

rather than following the prescribed path for success.

Up until now, his energies have always been focused on goal setting techniques that created specific sustainable, predictable outcomes which - is all fine and good…

except that - the work he was doing and the result he was getting, wasn’t bringing him joy.

So he’s begun approaching these next steps in his career and life in a radically different way…

He’s begun using his FEELINGS as his guidepost!

Y'all this is BEYOND huge!

For the majority of his adult life, his FEELINGS have been the LAST thing he would check in with especially when it came to setting a goal or tackling a job.

Determining how he wants to feel and allowing himself to LEAD with those feelings is already creating dramatically different results and in this week’s episode he shares his FEELINGS with all of us!

Episode 41: Feelings, Freedom and Flow is now Live