Hitch Route

Another week, another set of games, another set of co-hosts. For the first time ever, the exact combination is Alex and Cary, but otherwise, this episode is pretty straightforward. There are way fewer games to address, so we make sure to dig deep into our recaps and predictions while still making room for laughs and tangents along the way. Make sure to tune in!

Once upon a time, Fox lived in a dark cave. Fox was lazy, but wanted to obtain a lifetime's supply of gold. Fox heard about an intellectual decathlon that lasted 18 weeks. This decathlon was run by the mighty Panda. Panda was ambitious, and quite tough. He was not to allow any forgery, for there would be a large meal in store for Panda if he did catch a cheater. However, the winner received a large prize, enough to get the panda his lifetime's supply of bamboo. The panda decided that he would try his luck at the decathlon, but would also come up with a scheme of sorts. Fox decided to ask his two friends, Hare and Sheep*, to help him out. Fox pitched a plan to have himself dress up as Hare and Sheep and enter the decathlon as them. In exchange, he would give them a portion of the gold if he won disguised as them. Hare and Sheep were very dumb, so they were willing to let Fox participate in this competition for them.

At first, the disguises were working perfectly as planned. In fact, Fox, "Hare", and "Sheep" were doing quite well. However, by around Week 9, Hare got cocky. "I'm going to do this myself," he said. "I'm going to win that money for myself." With no other option, Fox let him compete. By Week 11, Hare was out of the competition. Fearing the same fate, Sheep let Fox take over the rest of the way, and although Fox was outfoxed himself, he was able to get by as the unassuming Sheep, as animals would laugh as soon as they saw a sign of his dark complexion. At least Akash wasn't around.

Fox made it all the way to the end as Sheep, far surpassing anyone else in the competition and claiming the prize. However, Panda found out about the scheme to cheat the decathlon, and was very unhappy about it. For weeks, he demanded answers from Hare, Sheep, and Fox, but no one budged. Eventually, there was a breakthrough. A tip from Hare to Panda gave Panda pause. Panda knew everything. Somewhere, somehow, Hare received 10 gold pieces.

Fox was starting to become anxious. Panda was going to eat them. He didn't want to die. He had so much left to live for. He started to wonder how much longer he had. When Panda decided to meet with him and Sheep, he knew his time had come.

What he found out is, Panda is an herbivore, and never would have done anything in the first place. Fox had become anxious for no reason, and realized that Panda was actually quite an amicable guy. They sat down and talked about the decathlon, and everything the year had brought. This is that conversation.

* Sheep was actually quite dark for his kind. He in fact was considered the black sheep of the wild. However, unlike the idiom, he was quite acclaimed. His charisma was off the charts, although he did have quite the low constitution, which he would complain about. He was very well liked, and people always laughed when he was around. He brought a lot of joy to the wild as a black sheep, and he was proud of it. His dark complexion was unmatched. He was special.

BING BONG. We're back. And we're back in style. We might not be as handsome as Tom Brady or Jimmy G, but we're still more than sexy enough this week because we got all four hosts on for the first time ever! That's right: the absolutely lethal Alex-Anish-Rob-Cary combo. We're like the Burrow-Mixon-Chase-Higgins quartet of podcasts, and now all of us are finally on the gameday roster at the same time. Tune in as we tie a bow on the 2021 regular season, predict how Super Wild Card weekend goes, and have lots of laughs along the way in this cRaZy episode!

With Alex moving to New York, Anish is left on the mic by himself...watch him analyze, waffle, and yawn his way through this episode as he makes some great cases and interesting observations about the NFL.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVERYONE!!! LET'S MAKE THIS YEAR A FUCKING GREAT ONE!

Welcome back to Hitch Route! As you may have noticed, Hitch Route took last week off for the holidays, so we hope y'all had a restful time. But now you get to hear our lovely/annoying voices once again! Not all of our voices, though; Anish was caught up with family obligations, so we have Alex as always but also Rob as a guest once again. Nevertheless, we persisted. The regular season is almost over, and we had a very interesting week of football to analyze and also another one that was arguably less interesting to predict. And perhaps it's because it's the holidays and we wanted to include some extra content - or more likely just because we're rusty - this episode will be a doozy. We hope you enjoy it, though, as we get back into peak performance before heading into the playoffs.

Last but not least, we just wanted to write a formal dedication to the legendary John Madden. While he is not a founding father of the game like George "Papa Bear" Halas (yes, Alex is writing this as always), Madden helped directly shape much of how football culture currently exists today - obviously most notably in the form of his eponymous video games. A man who was full of life even until his death, he will be missed.

After a marvelous performance from backups Cary and Rob since our star players were put on IR due to finals, the starting lineup is back in place for Week 14! And while they may have gotten their jobs back, one man who didn't was none other than Urban Meyer. The Jacksonville experiment is over, but the Hitch Route experience lives on! This past week featured lots of good games with almost comebacks, including every AFC North game from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati to Baltimore (who faced Cleveland). But most tragically of all, one comeback that was successful was the effort by the putrid Packers to overcome the beloved Bears. That's right; in case it wasn't obvious already, Alex is back on writing duties. All in all, though, it was a very entertaining week to be a fan of the NFL. And it's only going to get better because of - outside of fantasy - no more bye weeks!!! Tune in this week to see for yourself how well Alex and Anish brush off the rust before charging* towards the end zone!

*Yes yes, we know we didn't post this until AFTER the Chargers lost TNF, but we did our best. We still have to get back into form after our bye.

Like so many NFL teams who have had to turn to their benches this year to brave the cold, harsh reality of the longest season ever, so too has the cold, hard reality of Finals Week forced Hitch Route’s franchise QBs Alex and Anish to sit this one out, paving the way for our friends and former guests Rob and Cary to make the start in our place.

And while it may not have been the prettiest performance worthy of a bust in Canton one day, we hope you come away from this week’s episode feeling just what we do — that Rob and Cary did more than enough to lead their respective teams to victory, and in this year’s NFL, especially in Week 13, sometimes that’s all it takes to get the job done.

I mean, just ask the Seahawks, Steelers, and Lions. Yes, you heard that right — YOUR no-longer-winless Detroit Lions.

You know what they say — a win is a win, and that’s all we’ll really remember once Alex and Anish emerge from the other side of their final papers. Enjoy.

Get it? PUNTer Kaufman? hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! - Anish

Since I actually take our podcast seriously, let it be known that this is the episode where we make our predictions for Week 13. Also, this week honestly has to be the best of the season no doubt since it's impossible for the Packers to win. - Alex

Hey guys. This is the episode where we talk about games and stuff. Alex is good at fantasy, Anish isn't, and they're both bad at Survivor Pools. What else do we need to say? In all seriousness, though, (just kidding - it's physically impossible for us to be serious) this was a big week for Anish and the miscellaneous; it likely was a big week for all you listeners, too, because the trade deadline passed in many fantasy leagues. So that means if you didn't trade them or drop them, you're stuck with all your garbage players!!! Anish made a pretty big splash, actually, to try keeping his playoff hopes alive... Tune in to find out who he gave up and who he got in return.