Hoard Explorer

A Class of 1967 yearbook from University of California Hastings College Of The Law (now called UC Law SF) 

I recently had the opportunity to throw away all my highschool yearbooks, as well as those of my siblings. I couldn't bring myself to throw away the old man's yearbook and I only vaguely understand why. There aren't many heirlooms that I specifically tie to my father, but this is now one of them.

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A vintage Charlie Brown doll.  

Boucher Associates sold vinyl dolls of Peanuts characters in the mid 1960s. The company was founded by Connie Boucher, a window designer from San Francisco who got her break by pitching a datebook calendar concept to Charles Shultz. This Charlie Brown was manufactured in Hong Kong in 1966, and Charles Shultz had been living in Sonoma County for almost 10 years by this point. Neither myself nor the Captain had come onto the scene yet, and Aleister Crowley had passed away almost 20 years prior. Today, I appear to be the only one of us left. When I shake the doll, it rattles.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #peanuts #charliebrown #hongkong #syndicate #comicstrip #canon #coldwar #football #gag #slump #complications #legend #gravity #doomed #magick #giraffe #yoga #rattle

A vintage ice pick with a faded logo and slogan.

This old ice pick is far and away one of my very favorite personal possessions. It exudes the dignified aura of the patly historic, what with its soft worn patina and Spenserian logotype. But what makes it shine out from among my other baubles and odd ends is the hard fact of it's perfect handiness. Practically every day I find a use for it because, in its essence, this old ice pick is an irreducibly simple machine. In fact, it can be several of the "six simple machines": it can be a wedge or lever, act as an axle for a wheel or pulley, or maybe probably serve as some part of an inclined plane. If I can figure out a way to use this ice pick as a screw, I'll have the full suite of six. I bet artificial intelligence would have some ideas on that front.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #mycelium #ice #pick #icepick #logotypes #simple #machine #simplemachine #force #energy #direction #magnitude #lever #wedge #incline #screw #wheel #axle #pulley #artificial #intelligence #artificialintelligence #ai #chatgpt #bard #llm #multiverse #timeline

The neoprene carrying case which came with my missing Bose bluetooth earbuds.

I tried to throw this neoprene earbud case away recently. But instead of sending it off to the landfill, it became the focus of this episode. I honestly don’t know why I kept it this long. It belonged to the Bose earbuds I lost, so even the case is premium quality. But really, it’s not that great. Certainly not as cool as my expensive pocket knife. The only time I ever pulled a knife on anybody was at a roadhouse in the lush rural wilds south of New Orleans. A man named Nichol Dance violently smashed my cassette recorder on the ground and I feared for my life. If you’re at one remove, you’re already too far gone.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #neoprene #earbud #bose #psychoacoustics #variances #pocketknife #sheepsfoot #bayou #shrimp #boat #captain #minivan #cassette #powerboats

A collectable plate featuring a monthly calendar for 1973 & personified seasons.

This is a plate with a stylized 1973 in the middle of a dense line drawing dominated by a cloud motif. Amidst the clouds are vaguely greek personifications of the four seasons, with outlines and postures that you might see in a map of constellations. I used to take my first girlfriend to the top of a five story train bridge over the Napa River to make out and look up at the stars. But the best stargazing I ever did was on the roof of a borrowed broken minivan on a soft shoulder in deepest darkest West Texas. I never got the hang of astrology, though I never really tried. I’m still trying to get the hang of philosophy but I’m not holding my breath. History is a little easier, and I keep a running list of noteworthy events that transpired in the year 1973. Did you know that Governor Ronald Reagan was across town from me at the moment of my birth?

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #plate #calendar #alamo #gipper #universe #hegel #eforeffort #college #trainbridge #minivan #awful #y2k #gemini

I typically don’t throw out medicine that I’ve been prescribed. Even if I no longer need it, even if it has expired, I put it in the plastic zipper bag I have set aside for such an occasion. It’s not a cherished possession, and I probably wouldn’t care if it disappeared. But I don’t want to throw it away. Sometimes I need some old muscle relaxers if my herniated disc acts up and it’s nice to know it’s there if I need it. I remember the first time I ever had a back attack, on a road trip back east back when I was a misguided college student. I blame Bak Shaolin Eagle Claw kung fu but I admit it’s only conjecture.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #drugs #expired #pain #real #natural #rational #irrational #imaginary #nondenumerable #i #xday #conspiracy #1998 #subgenius

Hoard Explorer also has a music show on Freeform Portland community radio!

https://www.freeformportland.org/program/hoard-explorer-music-dump/

Listen to past episodes of Hoard Explorer’s Music Dump on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/hoardexplorer/

A hand-thrown ceramic vase, titled and signed by the potter.

I found a tall ceramic vase at the Goodwill across the parking lot from the Walmart in Windsor, CA. The vase is embellished with a pair of bronze female silhouettes, sort of primitive cubist nudes. There’s a label taped to the base reading “Spirit Women”. I can make out a signature imprinted in the clay beneath but I can’t bring myself to remove the label for some reason. When I recently unpacked the vase after moving to my new house, I discovered within this vase a small handful of eucalyptus leaves, a dozen pine catkins, and some dirt. I threw out the dirt but replaced the leaves and catkins and I’m at a loss to explain why. Sometimes my own behavior is a mystery to me.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #spiritwomen #ceramic #catkin #testosterone #behavior #roadrage #norcal #archetypes #definitions #judgement #penpal

Hoard Explorer also has a music show on Freeform Portland community radio!

https://www.freeformportland.org/program/hoard-explorer-music-dump/

Listen to past episodes of Hoard Explorer’s Music Dump on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/hoardexplorer/

In 2015, at my mom’s house in Napa, I recorded myself while digging through some boxes of ephemera from The Hoard. The main Hoard, the motherlode, the deep cuts. This was a completely extemporaneous “first episode” of a podcast memoir concept I had been noodling on for months. I had planned on literally burning with fire the contents of each box after reviewing each bit in turn, describing and reminiscing and then incrementally ceremonially disposing of a lifetime’s collection of cherished worthless stuff. I actually did end up burning some of it in the backyard of my childhood home, but I abandoned that project along with the Hoard Explorer podcast. It was years before I could summon up the courage to give it another go.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #episode1 #2015 #ephemera #extemporaneous #fail 

Hoard Explorer also has a music show on Freeform Portland community radio!

https://www.freeformportland.org/program/hoard-explorer-music-dump/

Listen to past episodes of Hoard Explorer’s Music Dump on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/hoardexplorer/

Support this podcast by purchasing Creamer Dog for $1,000. Comes with NFT certificate of authenticity. DM me for details.

An arrangement of things from the former Table of Wonders for the purposes of divination.

As I’m putting up some knick knacks around my new digs, I can’t help but notice the the way the assemblages always seem to add up to something. In particular there’s this built-in desk at the base of the stairs to the top floor. Here are numerous built-in cubbies above the desk that are just perfect for interesting hoard objects, and when all the cubbies are full I think it reads like some kind of heterodox tarot card. Or at the very least the desk becomes imbued with arcane symbolism just waiting to be deciphered to those who dare. In my early teens I was a camp counselor and I remember getting in trouble for trying to do a tarot reading for my prepubescent wards. Today I’m going to read from the Desk of God as if it were prophesy and I don’t have to worry about getting in trouble (I hope).

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #desk #tarot #kabbalah #death #gabriel #hermes #jvtv #mariachi #headlessone #beyond #queen #goat #king #sheep #thelefthandofdarkess #turtlesallthewaydown

Hoard Explorer also has a music show on Freeform Portland community radio!

https://www.freeformportland.org/program/hoard-explorer-music-dump/

Listen to past episodes of Hoard Explorer’s Music Dump on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/hoardexplorer/

Support this podcast by purchasing Creamer Dog for $1,000. Comes with NFT certificate of authenticity.

A tall ceramic penguin in my backyard.

Paul is a ceramic penguin who lives in my backyard. He took up in a weedy patch of rocks bounded on one side by a short length of knee-high wire fencing. Paul has a blank, slightly surprised stare which suggests an inner serenity. He is an object of contemplation for me, or more like a locus of attention while I myself space out. I could happily sit in my back yard staring at Paul, indefinitely. And if I stare at myself staring at Paul, it's called mindfulness. We’re all just energy, specifically clouds of resonating waveforms. Paul gets it, but I've got a long way to go.

hoardexplorer.com #hoardexplorer #memoir #paul #penguin #homology #vipassana #hebephrenia #heroinhotel #mentalmodels #sadhu #phillipkdick

Hoard Explorer also has a music show on Freeform Portland community radio!

https://www.freeformportland.org/program/hoard-explorer-music-dump/

Listen to past episodes of Hoard Explorer’s Music Dump on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/hoardexplorer/

Hoard Explorer also has a magic money concept store on eBay!

https://www.ebay.com/usr/hoardexplorer

Support this podcast by purchasing Creamer Dog for $1,000. Comes with NFT certificate of authenticity.