Holding Patterns

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Caroline Kane, whom I met in New Zealand, and she has been expanding my perspective and world ever since!

From Fort Collins, Colorado, Caroline created a career path for herself within wildland fire. She has spent years moving between seasonal roles, including guiding, working on chainsaw crews and prescribed burns, often living in tents, working long seasons, and navigating the industry as one of the few women in the field.

After a season in Colorado, she found herself in a holding pattern shaped by funding cuts and repeated grad school rejections. She was faced with uncertainty, fear, and the pressure of not knowing what would come next. What carried her through was community and learning to let go of the plan she thought she needed.

Her story highlights the power of persistence, letting go of rigid expectations, and the community that can come from an unconventional path.

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Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)

Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx)

Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

In this episode, I sit down with one of my best friends and my favorite Argentinian, Madalen Azpeitia. We met working at a heli-ski lodge and later reunited in Nelson, BC. Madi shares her upbringing in a close, immigrant-rooted Argentinian family and strong cultural expectations to attend university and follow a conventional path. After studying international relations and then law, Madi’s holistic therapy work (including Reiki and family-tree-focused emotional work) helped her confront anxiety, build self-love, and close the chapter on pursuing a degree despite social pressure. We discuss her fear and loneliness before buying a one-way ticket to Spain in 2022, traveling through Portugal, securing a New Zealand working holiday visa, withdrawing a sponsorship application due to unhappiness, and moving to Canada in 2024. Madi reflects on high-quality relationships formed through travel, entering a new “in-between” while building a life with her partner, and celebrating uncertainty as a space for choice.

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Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)

Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx)

Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

In this episode, I speak with my roommate/soul sister/friend, Brittany Nutt, a registered massage therapist and energy worker who previously worked as a tree planter for 10 years. Britt shares her experience growing up in a small rural BC town as the youngest of three, shaped by financial stress and a strong sense of independence. She describes a difficult period after ending relationships, feeling isolated on Vancouver Island, and experiencing her deepest depression. She felt a need for major change, moved off the island to her mother’s home in the Okanagan, and spent a month in a “holding pattern” before starting a heli-ski lodge job in Bella Coola where we met. We discuss coping tools—movement, nutrition, therapy, and friendship—and how the experience strengthened her trust in inner knowing and life’s process.
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Britt's Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/brittnuttsy?igsh=MWkwM3hlMmliYjhraA==)

Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)

Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx)

Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

Welcome to Holding Patterns! This first episode of the podcast is a bit different than the rest - it's a solo one. I am diving into the origin of Holding Patterns and the motivation behind this creative endeavor. Additionally, I discuss feeling stuck after university, how relationships and conversations broadened my perspective, and a heartbeat analogy I learned from a friend in New Zealand about highs and lows as proof of being alive. I outline my background (Colorado, business school, Spain, NZ, Canada, tour guiding) and how studying abroad led me away from a traditional corporate path into travel and seasonal work. I describe major holding periods: losing plans to return to Spain, four difficult months at home, struggling for work in Canada, and I share coping tools, including journaling, leaning on friends/family, therapy, movement, and reflection, ending with Tara Mohr’s poem “The Rhythm.”

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Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)

Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx)
Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay