Holiday Survival Guide: Food, fat shaming and the holidays!

 

Fat shaming refers to the idea that people are prejudiced against fat people. They medicalize and pathologize us and assume all sorts of bs and have all sorts of demeaning qualities including thinking fat people are lazy, sloppy, eat badly and don't exercise and use that as reasons to deny us services, health care and blaming us for anything and everything that happens to us from lack of health care to not being able to size is certain chairs.

It's even in the definition… however this definition is ironic (listen to find out why)

What fat shaming is… from wikipedia

Anti-fat bias refers to the prejudicial assumption of personality characteristics based on an assessment of a person as being overweight or obese. It is also known as "fat shaming". Fat activists allege anti-fat bias can be found in many facets of society, and blame the media for the pervasiveness of this phenomenon.

You shouldn't have to deal with fatphobia. So I'm here to pass on some resources for you this holiday season. All these links are in the show notes!

If you have questions or want to talk more about this join the Exxxxtraorindary FB group! It's a fat only space!

To start off with Ragen Chastain did a whole bunch of holiday songs to help you laugh at fatphobia.

The whole series of fat positive, anti diet songs:

Including:

• My Body Rocks!
• Don't give me judgement for Christmas
• No one cares (about your Diet)
• Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F_9VQgIzkY&list=PLDca9ev11s5QxpnVYP0BylaL6IIj30XSv&fbclid=IwAR3PBNm8G_s250q3g3_1AGoFiNFjt4eCDARRWC5fczza1SiDQten6JDfLvg

 

Going into the holidays if you're going to go "home" or other places that might not be awesome for your mental health or that are fat phobic, here are some tips I've come up with to help!

 

1. Have friends on stand by – before you head home, set up a text thread or have folks that you can call if something happens. Having back up can help a lot
2. Prepare your remarks – come up with a practice a couple of snappy (or not to snappy) retorts that you can say if something says something
3. Set the stage – if you know that certain people say things, let them or people around you know that it's not ok. A well placed, "that's not ok" or "I'm not available to talk about my body with you" or "Keep your opinions about my body to yourself" can do wonders.
4. Or send them this happy gift guide By Ragen Chaistain, and other articles I've linked to here by Laurel Dickman and Robin Raven.

 

Here's how to not ruin the holidays for Fat people

https://danceswithfat.org/2017/12/18/heres-how-to-not-ruin-the-holidays-for-fat-people/

 

Don't give a weight loss or "health" gift

 

Don't be the food police

Don't monitor, comment on, or concern yourself in any way with fat people's (or any sized people's) food choices at parties, holiday dinners or, hey, ever.  If we need the food police, we'll call Pie-1-1.

 

Don't give a fat shaming card

Don't put your fat family and friends in the position to cut you off

 

Don't engage in diet talk or negative body talk

This suggestion isn't just to help fat guests, but also for guests of any size who may be dealing with eating disorders, or guests who are interested in conversations that aren't boring as hell. Find something else to talk about than why you are or are not eating what you are or are not eating.  Skip the 5 minutes soliloquy on what you feel you have to do to punish yourself for eating pie, and ask somebody at the party to tell you about themselves instead, or go watch TV, or play on your phone, whatever.

 

Dealing with Family, Friends and the Food Police

https://danceswithfat.org/2014/11/24/dealing-with-family-and-friends-food-police/

 

By Robin Raven

6 ways to deal with fat-shaming during the holidays, from someone who knows what it's like

https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/health-fitness/6-ways-to-deal-fat-shaming-during-holidays/

The basic message of which is: No matter how—or why—anyone's body looks the way it does, we deserve to be respected and treated with care. 

Tip 5: Make a list of things to remember this holiday season such as: "I deserve to be treated with care" and "There's no wrong way to have a body" (by Hanne Blank) and other fat positive quotes and carry them with you.

 

Tip 6: And the last tip is: Come hang out with us in the exxxxtraordinary community on Fb: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ExxxxtraordinaryPodcast/

 

I wish you the best possible holidays full of amazing people, delicious food and ease!

Thank you for listening!