This podcast is going to see us have a lot of the conversation about partnership. This idea is so often centered around the interaction between a man and a woman and mostly in relation to straight, married people. Oh and monogamous people. That’s not what we are referring to here specifically on this show – so today I want explode those boxes and discuss the wide variety of partnerships, relationships, sexuality, attraction and how that relates (and doesn’t relate) to gender identity.

When I’m talking about partnership, I’m really talking about interrelating with people who will help you do something more, or be more than you can be by yourself.

That doesn’t really have anything to do with gender. It doesn’t have anything to do with sexuality. It doesn’t have anything to do with romance.

Anywhere that you use the word of should it’s likely you are talking about an expectation. Also you people say things like “Well everyone knows …” that is also a sign you are referring to an expectation.

• I want to explicitly talk about being inclusive of different genders and sexualities and sexual and relationship preferences.
• Genderbread.org does a great job at breaking down pieces that people get confused. Identity like gender identity, gender expression, identity and expression in general sex, gender and sexual orientation.
• I generally identify as a, bisexual woman and I am in an open relationship.
• Let’s talk about the difference between between sex and gender, your sex is  usually like anatomical sex as in your genitals, what's between your legs, your chromosomes, your hormones, your body hair etc - but what it's not is your gender, right?
• Gender identity is the psychological sense of who you, who of self, of who you are in your head, who you know yourself to be, based of course on how much you align or don't align with the under, with, um, what you understand the options for gender to be
• Why do the conversations about the fluidity of gender get people so upset? It can cause a limbic flight or freeze hindbrain response and that can see us get angry - fast.
• But the truth of it is - other people's gender is really none of our business. And who they have sex with is none of our business - unless the person they have sex with is you.
• My gender expression is generally pretty femme - my gender identity mostly matches my anatomical sex and my gender expression - but that’s not the case for everyone.
• Sexual attraction isn't really a component of gender, however, we often conflate sexual orientation with gender or categorize the attraction of experience in gendered ways.
• The labels around sexual orientation themselves are so gendered
• The social scripts for love, relationship and even sex are so specific and inflexible. 

Learning is what is going to breed tolerance and understanding!

• The more understanding that you have, having more exposure etc, the easier time you'll have when you encounter, different genders and sexualities - the more you know, understand and feel familiar with all of this, the more understand and tolerance you will have.

• http://genderbread.org/
• The Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) https://isna.org/

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Expectations are a thing I was blown away by once I got to understanding what expectations are and how they totally have the possibility of hijacking my life. When we say “Oh, I expected you to do this” we say it as though it were true thing, when nearly a 100% of the time we have not told the other person what our expectations are. Yeah. And therein lies the trap.

The reason we're like dying to be in relationship and the reason that it's so painful when, when breakups happen, friendship breakup happened is because CONNECTION is a core need for us as human beings.

You know how can actually be as painful to break up with someone or to have a friend breakup as it is to like break your arm. There, there are good reasons for that.

But there is so much about this whole thing about of wanting to be in relationship that we have backwards.

Today we going to unpack CONNECTION.

• to join link or Fasten together, unite or bind to associate mentally or emotionally