Hollywood Chop Shop

A wealthy Texan, J.W.Grant, receives a ransom note after his wife disappears into the treacherous Mexican wilderness. Fearing the worst, Grant contracts four men with varying skills to retrieve his love from the clutches of the ruthless bandit leader, Raza. As the party traverses the harsh terrain, they can’t help but feel something is out of place, and not everything is as it seems. Will they succeed in their endeavor, or find themselves in the cemetery of nameless men?

A young girl is orphaned after her family is brutally murdered at the hands of a corrupt DEA task force, with the only witness being a hitman that just so happens to live next door. Leon, the professional, reluctantly takes in Mathilda with the two quickly establishing a strong but unconventional bond. Soon after their arrangement Leon begins to train the 12 year old in the art of assassination, strengthening her resolve while simultaneously humanizing the killing machine. Can they survive in a world defined by death and destruction, or will their love put a target on their backs?

An NBA merger is imminent as the collapse of the American Basketball Association unfolds in the 70’s. As part of the negotiations, the top four ABA teams will be absorbed into the NBA, with the remaining owners seeing a substantial payday. This sits well with everyone but Jackie Moon, the pregame announcer-owner-coach-pop-singing-sensation-power-forward of the Flint Michigan Tropics, who’s dreams of being in the NBA feel less likely than a full court basket for $10,000. Can Jackie and The Tropics climb from last place to achieve their ambitions, or is the whole team a little moonstruck?

We wrap up The Group Dynamics Trilogy which comprised of The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014), The Suicide Squad (2021) and Young Guns (1988). See what we thought of these ensemble casts and which characters The Cinemachanics would transport into other franchises.

In a very loose retailing of the Lincoln County War, six renegades are recruited by a noble rancher to defend his property from a wild west ripe with corruption. The young men develop a fragile bond as they are taught civility by the rancher, John Tunstall, a man who sees the potential in his ragtag group of gunslingers and rejects. It’s not long before the group dynamics are tested as they watch Tunstall being gunned down by a rival gang, leaving the Regulators to choose between a path of justice or a path of revenge. When the bullets start to fly, will the boys honor the legacy of their former employer, or make a new name for themselves in the blood of their enemies?

The Suicide Squad is reassembled under new leadership and sent on a mission to eliminate all traces of Project Starfish, a secret extraterrestrial testing facility found in a small South American island country currently recovering from a military coup. Can our ragtag group of D list villains… and Harley Quinn complete they’re objective or will they die horribly in the DCEU’s subplot to kill off any remaining traces of the first movie… literally and metaphorically speaking.

M. Gustave, a world class concierge, and his trusted lobby boy Zero must escape the pursuit of a fascist heir. As events unfold the two must secure a priceless painting, navigate a country teetering toward war, escape prison, leverage a secret society and prove M. Gustave’s innocence with a reward of whores and whiskey should they succeed. Are there still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity, or is all lost for our intrepid heroes?

We wrap up No Sudden Movie (2021), Tango & Cash (1989) and The Italian Job (1969) which had absolutely nothing to do with double-crosses... whoops. See who we transport into another movie verse and how we try to string three movies together that really had little to nothing in common with one another. 

Fresh out of prison, Charlie Croker, Her Majesty Steve McQueen, is thrust back into a life of crime when the widow of his friend Roger provides him with a mostly complete score to steal $4 million dollars worth of gold. The plan, hit a convoy as it leaves from an airfield in Talin Italy to the car factory on the other side of town. All Charlie has to do is assemble a team that can reprogram Talin’s traffic grid, steal the gold from an armored convoy and escape through the grid locked city… oh, and avoid being murdered by the very mafia responsible for Roger’s death. Can Charlie and team pull off the score of a lifetime, or will their plan leave them hanging in the wind.

Despite being labeled polar opposites, Ray Tango and Gabe Cash are just a couple of glory hound hot-dogs cut from the same cloth. After several high profile drug busts, and a criminal amount of one-liners, the two are setup by LA’s rodent obsessed crime boss and find themselves convicted of a murder they didn’t commit. Can the macho men put their differences aside or will the egos of Tango & Cash cause the situation to be FUBAR.