Homestead Family Podcast

Small Correction: I said my daughter is 5 almost 4, I meant my middle daughter is 4 almost 5 years old.

Connect with Dr. Judy
email: [email protected]
website: www.academictherapist.com

PODCAST QUESTIONS:

How did you become a clinical psychologist and specialize in child psychology?

1. What is psychological testing for children?
2. When should parents consider testing?
3. What are things parents should consider when choosing to have testing done for a child?
4. How can testing help build understanding and a bond within the family?
5. How will assessment help parents understand their child’s world?
6. Let’s talk about executive functioning, multisensory structured language instruction, and dyslexia.
7. Bonus topic if time allows, what are key tips parents can use to help navigate their child through various developmental changes? 

Closing Qs

1. What are you currently doing that you love?
2. What has been one of your biggest relationship struggles?
3. What has been one of your biggest relationship Victories?
4. What would be the one thing you hope every couple would know? 

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Episode Questions:
Tell me your marriage story.

1. What was something you weren't expecting in marriage?
2. What is your favorite relationship resource?
3. How has your wife helped you reach your goals/dreams? 
4. What is something you are looking forward to in your marriage? 
5. What are you currently doing in your life that you love?
6. What has been one of your biggest relationship struggles? 
7. What has been one of your biggest relationship Victories? 
8. What would be the one thing you hope every couple would know?

References:
John and Helen Burns - John and Helen Burns — Relate Church
Richard Rohr - The Wild Man's Journey
John Eldredge Wild at Heart
Rohan's podcast For Leaders Global Podcast (podbean.com)

Websites
For Leaders Global Home
Rohan Dredge – | Leadership | Communication | Personal Growth
Linkedin: RohanDredge
email: [email protected]

Rohan's most impactful quote:

“I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me. ”

― Jim Rohn

MERCH STORE

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Show Links:
Awesome Marriage — Marriage, Relationships, and Premarital Counseling with Dr. Kim Kimberling
Online Marriage Retreat (affiliate link)
Podcast — Awesome Marriage — Marriage, Relationships, and Premarital Counseling with Dr. Kim Kimberling
One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day — Awesome Marriage — Marriage, Relationships, and Premarital Counseling with Dr. Kim Kimberling
Dr. Kim and Colby Leadership Podcast Episodes — Dr. Kim Kimberling

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Todays podcast is with Jonathon Carrington is the Owner of Atone Therapy based in the Greater Washington, DC area. He is a writer, researcher, mental health counselor, relationship coach, mentor, former dancer and arts administrator living and working in the Greater Washington, DC region over the past 15 years. He has assisted individuals, groups, and families with mental health and wellness resources an supports across various populations including children, adolescents, young adults, artists,  abuse survivors, homeless, displaced families, chronically ill patients, HIV/AIDS, seniors, veterans,  and military service members. Jonathon earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Theatre Arts Administration from Howard University, and a Master of Arts degree in Professional Counseling from Liberty University.


Books referenced:
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrom by Dr. Joy DeGruy
To Be Told by Dan Allender


Connect with Jonathon and follow the amazing work he is doing in healing racial trauma.
email: [email protected]
Facebook: Atone Therapy

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THEMES:
Being able to accept your partner differences and personalities
combatting losing your identity in your partner.

EPISODE OVERVIEW:
1. How have you incorporated acceptance into your new normal?
2. How can couples work to share the weight of this season?
3. What are some simple ways couples can serve or love their spouse?
4. How do you handle the pressure to do more or start something new?
1. Either external or internal
5. How have you dealt with the changes in your family, marriage, and work?
6. What’s stayed the same during this pandemic?
7. What’s changed due to this pandemic?
8. What are you planning or looking forward to doing once the stay-at-home order is lifted?
9. What has surprised you during this season?

CLOSING QUESTIONS:
1. What are you currently doing that you love?
2. What has been one of your biggest relationship struggles?
3. What has been one of your biggest relationship Victories?
4. What would be the one thing you hope every couple would know?

LINKS:

• Brene Brown interview with John and Julie Gottman
• Cindy Norton's podcast: Mountain Practice Journeys 
  •  Through this private practice podcast, you’ll discover helpful tips for starting and growing your private practice. I’ll cover topics related to branding, niching, marketing, websites, copywriting, sliding scale, cancellation policies, rate setting, client scheduling, business structures, taxes, email marketing, networking, finances, productivity tips, and much more. 
• Cindy's awesome counseling practice lives here
• Check out Professional Services Cindy offers on her website
• Cindy on Instagram:
  • @Mountainpracitcjourneys
  • @avlcouplestherapy

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Episode topics/questions:

• How have you worked on accepting and managing stages of relationships?
• How can couples work toward being okay with both right now and not yet. 
• Progress of parent roles/how has your view of being a parent changed?
• Are there specific ways you have worked in managing expectations in marriage
• What are a few ways you have intentionally prioritizing your spouse?

Closing Questions:

• What are you currently doing that you love?
• What has been one of your biggest relationship struggles?
• What has been one of your biggest relationship Victories?

Final Question:

• What is the one thing you hope every couple would know?

Marriage Fact Link:
10 Interesting Facts About Marriage - iMom

The Guests:
Tim Austin is the founder of Encompass Life Coaching, a PCC Certified Coach, and REALIFE Process® facilitator. As an experienced coach, creative speaker, writer
and podcaster, Tim partners with leaders in transition to create space and multiply options toward discovery and growth.

They now reside in Northern California and have three adult children and one beautiful grandson. Eve is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in private practice in Northern California. In addition, she has been an Ordained Minister since 2010.

How to Connect with Tim & Eve:

Website: www.eveaustin.com

Website: encompasslifecoaching.com

Instagram: @encompass_life_coaching

Facebook: @EncompassLifeCoaching

LinkedIn: @timothyalanaustin

Podcast: Navigate with Tim Austin

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Remember the beginning of your relationship. Everything was a date, coffee, meals, laundry, then you get married and nothing is a date. 

Somehow we move from being excited to spend time with our partner to being inconvenienced and giving up what we “want to do”. 

Simple Dates Breakdown

1. Picnic 
2. Go for a walk
3. Movie Night
4. Yoga/meditate
5. Volunteer 
6. Bonfire/Campfire
7. Learn a game
8. Write each other a letter/note

Bonus from Awesome Marriage this week... Look at your wedding and/or engagement photos.

10 Relationship Facts Everyone Should Know Before Getting Married | HuffPost Life

www.awesomemarriage.com Instagram post.

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Let's talk communication. We often categorized communication as good and bad, but miss if it is effective. Is it good if we all agree or get along, but what if nothing was accomplished?  If feeling were hurt or a fight happened, but our true feelings were communicated and you were heard is that bad communication? So what is a person to do?

Don’t mistake good or effective communication with pleasant and comfortable interactions.

Support the podcast on Patreon and grab some bonus content.

Takeaways:

• Communication is nonverbal and verbal.
• Listen to understand instead of waiting to respond.
• Talk more when there isn’t a conflict.
• Don’t fight to be right. 
• Understand breaks/timeouts
• Have rules and boundaries. 
• Grow in awareness of our-self and our partner. 

These are not affiliate links:
Ref. Percentage of communication is verbal vs nonverbal?
Book Ref. Quiet by Susan Cain

Support the show

1. Awesome marriage

• Hear my interview with Dr. Kim in Season 1 Episode 2 Homestead Family Therapy.
• Follow @Awesome_Marriage on Instagram
• Learn more at www.awesomemarriage.com

1. Graceful Grizzly (Mauricio & Tyler)

• Support on patreon Graceful Grizzly Podcast is creating a podcast for the everyone | Patreon
• Follow @gracefulgrizzlypodcast on instagram
• Here my conversation with The GrizzFam on Ep 19 of their podcast
• Graceful Grizzly 

1. Half-percent podcast (Nick)

• Follow on Instagram @thehalfpercentpodcast
• You can hear my interview on The Half-Percent Podcast: Flyfishing at Saddam's Palace-12 years in the Air Force

1. Fun Therapy (Mike Foster)

• Podcast — Mike Foster
• Follow @MikeFoster2000 on instagram

1. Marriage Talks (Michael & Elizabeth Ann)

• www.marriagetalkspodcast.com
• Follow @marriagetalkspodcast on instagram.
• Support on patreon Marriage Talks is creating marriage content through a biblical worldview. | Patreon

1. Happier with Gretchen Reuben

• Listen to Happier Podcast
• https://gretchenrubin.com/about/biography/
• Follow @gretchenrubin on instagram

1. Typology with Ian Morgan Cron 
   • https://www.typologypodcast.com/
   • Follow @typologypodcast on instagram
   • I read Ian's book The Road Back To You when I wanted to know more about the Enneagram.

Other Podcasts mentioned in this episode:

Last Letters with Jeremy Lock

Smart Passive Income with Pat Flynn

Entre Leadership 

Carey Neiuwhof Leadership Podcast

Side Hustle School

Making Disciples with Robby Gallaty

School of Laughs

Ted Talks

Michael Hyatt

Profit First Podcast (No surprise I found the podcast)

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Who wouldn't have a little worry?

Worry can be defined as "a state of cognitive distress or worry because of concern over an impending or expected occurrence, risk, or threat." (1) to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret. to move with effort: to torment with cares, anxieties, etc.; trouble; plague. a worried condition or feeling; uneasiness or anxiety. a cause of uneasiness or anxiety; trouble. (2)

Worry is a marker or signal that something is wrong. We can leverage our worry by identifying it containing it within healthy concern and allow or concern to inform our planning. This reminds me of an expression I heard a lot in the Air Force, "expect the best, plan for the worst." My personal belief regarding emotions is that we were created with all of them and should embrace each emotion openly, honestly, and appropriately.

What is the worst-case scenario, what is the best-case scenario, what is the most likely scenario? 

Now, there are more steps: learning how to prepare. What would coping look like if the worst-case happened? Weighing the cost versus benefit of worry. (Side note: excessive worry really is a learned thought pattern, right the movement from healthy concern to obsessive worry that's learned.) and lastly giving permission to not worry.  This is CBT which research shows to be 70-80% effective in reducing anxiety symptoms. (4)

There are questions that we need to continually ask in order to overcome a lot of our worries. 

1. What am I afraid of? 
   1. Labeling the fear/worry/concern can help to put a cap on the emotion and give a (quote) (unquote) face to the feeling.
2. What am I looking forward to? 
   1. Seeing an alternate outcome can siphon the power of worry into the positive alternate-outcome.
3. What do I enjoy now?
   1. Identifying what you currently enjoy now is grounding. Remember worry lives in our undetermined future. The only thing concrete, the only thing known is right now.

CLOSING: I want to encourage you in the middle of what you are facing. "Life has taught you, by simple virtue of living, you can handle hard things.'

LINKS:
Homestead Family Therapy - my website
www.homesteadfamilytherapy.com
Psychology Today - therapist database
www.psychologytoday.com
BetterHelp - 0nline counseling database
www.betterhelp.com
Online Counseling - online counseling database
www.onlinecounseling.com

DISCLAIMER:

Special thanks to Justin Kollars and The Shed Production for the intro music, We love it.  As a reminder, podcasts and pretty much any random information on the internet is not a replacement for professional care. This podcast is designed to provide accurate and thought-provoking information, combat the stigma of therapy, and help support you. The opinions and information given on this podcast is given with the understanding that the host and guests are not providing legal, clinical, or professional information. If you believe you may need support or care you should seek out an appropriate professional near you.

References:

1WorryN., Pam M.S., "WORRY," in PsychologyDictionary.org, April 29, 2013, https://psychologydictionary.org/worry/ (accessed January 9, 2021).

2 WorryN., Dictionary.com, (N.D.), Worry | Definition of Worry at Dictionary.com (accessed January 9, 2021).

4 Durham, R.C. (1995). Comparing treatments for generalized anxiety dis

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