Are you in the habit of seeing things and people as they are or do you attach a story to everything and everyone you see? If you're honest, (and we all need to be!) most of us are in the habit of poor perception and faulty thinking/logic. We have endless reels that are playing in the background that distort almost every interaction...and we wonder why we suffer!
What's a person to do?
Follow our new friends, the Stoics.
The first, of the three foundation disciplines, is the discipline of perception, which is quite similar to, if not exactly like the Buddha's path of "right seeing."
To see clearly or follow the discipline of perception, we need to:
Eat a piece of humble pie and admit to ourselves that we are imperfect.
Practice naming small things as they actually are. (Break down everything into component parts. For example, a chair--it is simply a seat, with four legs; made up of wood from a tree, or metal, or rock; has no decorations on it; and, can hold my weight. That is a chair, whether it is created by some designer, a local craftsman or IKEA.) Work your way up from small things that don't hold too much meaning for you to those things that you're emotionally "attached" to.
Slow down. While we do make thousands of decisions each day, we need not make them from our snap judgments. We can, and should, slow our processes down. Are we making decisions based on what is real or are we making decisions without all the information, using old, worn-out tropes and stories (think: ego) to decide something?
Here are Epictetus's words to help us along our way:
"Consider the smallest things to which you are attached. For instance, suppose you have a favorite cup. It is, after all, merely a cup; so if it should break, you could cope. Next build up to things -- or people -- toward which your clinging feelings and thoughts intensify. Remember, for example, when you embrace your child, your husband, your wife, you are embracing a mortal..."
"What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance."
"Does someone bathe quickly? Don't say that he bathes poorly, but quickly. Name the situation as it is; don't filter it through your judgments. Does someone drink a lot of wine: Don't say she is a drunk but that she drinks a lot. Unless you possess a comprehensive understanding of her life, how do you know if she is a drunk? Do not risk being beguiled by appearances and constructing theories and interpretations based on distortions through misnaming. Give your assent only to what is actually true."
When we name things as they are, not what we believe they are, we comprehend them correctly, without adding information and judgments that aren't there. And when we see clearly, oh boy! Life is good! Life begins to sing.
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Find some great books on the Stoics below and read along for your own fun and edification!
Marcus Aurelius's Meditations (translated by Gregory Hays) -- LOVE this! I can see why Bill Clinton reads this every year. It's a joy to read. I am inspired by it! This particular edition flows beautifully. The introduction and notes that Gregory Hays includes in this publication are thorough without being highbrow.
