HopeMakers: Disrupting the legacy of trauma.

In this energetic and wide-ranging episode recorded around the International Day of Happiness, host Erica Bowen speaks with Andrea Johnson—also known as "The Intentional Optimist"—about her journey from struggling with eating disorders and depression to becoming an advocate for women's empowerment and faith-based leadership.

Andrea shares her unique upbringing as a missionary kid, moving 17 times by age 21 between the United States and Seoul, Korea. Whilst this gave her a global mindset and incredible experiences (wearing Oscar de la Renta at 15, attending school with kids from 65 countries), she didn't have the tools to handle constant change. She coped by becoming a "food sneaker and food hoarder," hiding jars of peanut butter under her bed and eventually developing severe bulimia characterized by binge eating rather than purging.

The conversation explores Andrea's turning point at age 21, spending her birthday in a 12-week inpatient program for bulimia and depression—finally receiving help that addressed the inside, not just external symptoms. She describes the long journey through multiple diet programs, marriage, seven years on antidepressants, weighing 310 pounds at under 5'2", and eventually choosing gastric bypass surgery as "the best physical choice I ever made for myself"—whilst acknowledging it's just a tool that requires internal work.

Andrea reveals the moment she looked at her husband and said "I look into the future and it's a black hole"—having lost all hope and future vision despite never having thoughts of self-harm. This led to seeking help and beginning the journey toward what she calls "intentional optimism." She shares the devastating news of having only a 13% chance of live birth due to early menopause, and her powerful realization: "adoption is 100% chance." The subsequent two-year adoption journey included losing 2-3 potential babies before successfully adopting their son Nathan (whose name means "gift").

The episode introduces Andrea's philosophy of "intentional optimism" with its six tenets: optimistic, present, courageous, energetic, wise, and intentional. She argues that hope is not passive—it doesn't float in "like Tinkerbell"—but is actionable, born out of faith and doing something. Hope, she explains, has three components: helping us see the future (through making plans), seeing possibilities (by asking "what if?"), and changing our perspective.

Andrea uses the powerful metaphor of taking a panoramic photo from the top of the Eiffel Tower—all those perspectives were always there, but you only captured one in your first shot. When you turn the camera around, you gain a completely different view without having to change location. This applies to how we see ourselves and others—celebrating uniqueness rather than forcing conformity.

The conversation addresses Andrea's work empowering women to be "big" leaders in their own authentic way, not by mimicking masculine leadership styles. Drawing on the Proverbs 31 woman as a model, she advocates for women being unapologetically themselves—whether their "world" is the car rider line, helping kids who can't afford prom clothes, or becoming the next female US president. She introduces the concept of "positive opposites" learned from parenting her son with ADHD—turning "stop running" into "use walking feet"—as a powerful self-talk tool.

Key Takeaways:

• Hope is actionable, not passive—it requires doing something, making decisions, taking steps
• We are what we choose—our lives are shaped by our decisions, not just our circumstances
• Hope encompasses three elements: seeing the future (make plans), seeing possibilities (ask "what if?"), and changing perspective (turn the camera around)
• Addressing only external symptoms without internal work leads to repeated struggles
• Faith can undergird hope, but we still need tools and must take action
• "Decision is a superpower"—

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Archie Messersmith-Bunting, a professional motivational speaker known as "the feelings guy," about his journey from crystal meth addiction and suicidal depression to becoming an advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention.

Archie shares his experience growing up gay in the Deep South, navigating religious trauma that taught him he was destined for hell, and living a double life that led to profound disconnection from himself. He describes how crystal meth initially made "all the pain go away," but as a binge user dealing with major depressive disorder, the crashes became unbearable—freight trains slamming through his brain repeatedly until suicide seemed like the only option that wasn't unbearable.

The conversation explores the critical turning point when Archie realized he wasn't "the Manchurian Candidate"—that he hadn't irreversibly damaged his brain and actually had a choice. This moment of hope, recognizing he had agency even when he still struggled, became the foundation for his recovery. He credits his long-haired Chihuahua, Fabi, as instrumental in saving his life—nights when holding his dog and telling himself "we can do this, buddy" kept him going.

Archie introduces his revolutionary approach to connection: replacing "How are you?" with "How are you feeling today?" These five words, he argues, can save lives by creating space for genuine vulnerability and stopping people on the suicide spectrum at points 1, 2, 3, or 4—before they reach the point of no return at 9 or 10. He explains how our transactional society programs us to respond with "I'm fine" rather than truthfully sharing our emotional state.

The episode addresses the gifts within the pandemic's challenges, including forced reflection and the opportunity to practice genuine listening. Archie emphasizes the critical skill of listening to understand rather than listening to respond, advocating for adding "Can I listen?" to our vocabulary. He shares how his recovery required both traditional 12-step work and therapy working in tandem—that focusing solely on sobriety without addressing underlying trauma wasn't enough for him.

Archie's message is clear: you can't help feeling how you feel—feelings exist for a reason and we're meant to experience the full range. But you do have a choice in what you do with those feelings. On bad days, the choice might simply be self-care. On other days, it's choosing to pick up the phone and ask someone to just listen. His philosophy centres on being a "helper" rather than needing advanced degrees—using the mess of his past to hopefully save lives.

Key Takeaways:

• Replacing "How are you?" with "How are you feeling?" creates space for life-saving vulnerability
• Suicide exists on a spectrum—early intervention through genuine connection can prevent escalation
• Hope emerges from recognizing you have a choice, even when all options seem unbearable
• Listening to understand (not to respond) is a critical but undervalued skill
• Recovery often requires multiple approaches working together—one size doesn't fit all
• You can't help feeling how you feel, but you can choose what you do with those feelings
• Words of encouragement matter profoundly, especially during difficult times
• Sometimes the simplest things (like a loving pet) can keep us on the right side of the line
• Being a "helper" doesn't require degrees—lived experience and compassion are powerful tools

In this inspiring International Women's Day episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Alexandra Ionitta, a 27-year-old mindset coach who made the bold decision to quit her dream corporate job - travelling the world for a global company—because despite having everything she thought she wanted, she felt miserable and disconnected from herself.

Alexandra shares the moment she recognised she was "living for the weekend," that quiet whisper of intuition telling her something had to change. Without any backup plan, she handed in her resignation and began travelling solo through Asia, searching for the connection with herself that she'd lost. This journey eventually led her to discover web design, then mindset work, and ultimately to studying with Bob Proctor and other leaders in the field of subconscious reprogramming.

The conversation explores the crucial difference between being "interested" in change versus being "committed" to it—the difference between doing what's convenient and doing whatever it takes. Alexandra explains the distinction between self-confidence (believing you can do what you're already doing) and self-image (seeing yourself as the person who has already achieved what you desire), emphasising that without the right self-image, you'll sabotage even the best strategies.

Alexandra discusses why personal development often gets dismissed as "fluffy" or ineffective—it's not that affirmations and visualisation don't work, but that people do them without genuine belief, which makes them useless. She explains how she experienced quantum leaps in her business (earning in months what previously took a year) by changing her internal programming rather than just working harder on external strategies.

The episode addresses crucial themes for women, including the socialisation to serve others first, the difficulty of asking "what do I really want?" when we're bombarded by expectations, and the revolutionary act of filling your own cup first (which actually gives you more to offer others, not less). Alexandra challenges the language around goals—shifting from "losing weight" to "releasing what doesn't serve you," from punishment to self-love.

She introduces powerful practices including: daily visualisation of your desired future self (even if it feels like pretend at first), looking in the mirror and declaring self-love until it feels true, and using gratitude as a bridge from negative states to positive ones. The core message is that hope—belief in yourself and your power to create change—is the foundation everything else builds upon.

Key Takeaways:

• The difference between being interested in change and being committed to it
• Self-image (who you see yourself becoming) matters more than self-confidence
• Every strategy fails without the right mindset and belief system underneath
• The importance of disconnecting from external influences to discover what YOU truly want
• "Releasing" rather than "losing" creates a healthier relationship with change
• Loving yourself NOW, before achieving your goals, is what makes transformation possible
• Gratitude serves as a bridge from negative emotional states to more positive ones
• Action reveals the next step—you don't need to see the whole staircase before starting
• Three daily practices: let go of the past each morning, visualise your future self, practice gratitude
• Everything happens FOR you, not TO you—there's always a lesson for your growth

In this deeply moving and spiritually rich episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Helen Morris about the devastating loss of her 18-year-old daughter in a car accident, and the profound journey of healing and transformation that followed.

Helen shares the extraordinary gift of having written a series of heartfelt letters to her daughter before her death—expressing everything she wanted her daughter to know about how much she was loved and valued. When her daughter read these letters during a solo outdoor experience just before the accident, it meant nothing was left unsaid between them, providing Helen with unexpected peace amidst her grief.

Helen reflects on how her daughter challenged her to be a better parent, to apologise when she was wrong, and to build a relationship based on mutual respect and open communication. Helen candidly discusses her own health struggles with Crohn's disease, chronic fatigue, and Lyme diseaset, and how these challenges shaped their relationship. She shares the profound moment after losing her daughter when she decided to stop worrying about others' opinions and give herself permission to live authentically for the first time.

The episode reveals Helen's discovery of energy healing through the Emotion Code just months after her daughters death, which brought her a sense of peace she'd never experienced before. This led to her new purpose as an energy healing practitioner, helping others release trapped emotions and find hope in their darkest moments.

Helen also discusses the importance of celebrating life even in death. 

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of telling loved ones how you feel whilst you have the chance
• How reframing loss and finding gratitude can coexist with deep grief
• The healing power of energy work and releasing trapped emotions
• Giving yourself permission to live authentically after loss
• Celebrating life even in death—honouring loved ones in ways that reflect their spirit
• Recognising that those we've lost want us to find happiness and watch for their signs

In this energetic and inspiring episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Heather Jean about her journey from hiding behind multiple "perfect" personas to discovering authentic confidence and creating the Confidence Through Cabaret community during lockdown.

Heather shares how she spent years being excellent at everything - as a high-achieving interpersonal skills consultant, a devoted mother, and later a full-time carer—but realised she'd built so many walls around different aspects of her life that she'd lost sight of who she really was. She describes herself as someone who appeared calm and in control externally whilst feeling like a "hot mess" internally, never allowing herself to be vulnerable or take up space.

The conversation explores Heather's catalogue of life challenges, including surviving an abusive first marriage that took 11 years to fully escape, caring for her late husband who had Alzheimer's, her own breast cancer diagnosis (which she pushed doctors to investigate when they said she was too young), a car accident, and the subsequent bereavement. Through all of this, Heather maintained strict boundaries against playing the victim, instead adopting a "control the controllables" mindset and keeping relentlessly busy to avoid sitting with difficult emotions.

The pandemic became an unexpected turning point when lockdown forced Heather to pause for the first time in years. Without her usual outlets—work, travel, cabaret performances - she had to confront all the emotions she'd packed away in boxes with tight lids. This led to a profound period of self-reflection where she discovered she'd been internalising abuse and negative messages, experiencing imposter syndrome without recognising it, and never truly allowing herself to feel her feelings.

Heather discusses how she processed these emotions through mindfulness practices including aerial fitness (where falling is literal if you lose focus), stretching as a form of emotional release, and learning to simply "feel it and let it go." She shares the powerful realisation that came when her son reacted to her saying she'd be "okay" if COVID took her - recognising that if it wasn't appropriate to say to him, it wasn't appropriate to say to herself.

The episode reveals how Heather and her business partner Ryan created Confidence Through Cabaret to help others build confidence in their personal life, work life, and "stage life" (whatever that stage may be). Using tools from contemporary cabaret, they help people create characters that allow them to show up authentically - not faking it, but accessing parts of themselves that already exist but may be hidden.

Heather's philosophy centres on showing up "perfectly imperfect," not comparing yourself to others' self-limiting beliefs, celebrating small victories (like putting the bins out or mowing the lawn), and surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want you to succeed—not just those who show up when there's "entertainment value."

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of pausing to listen to yourself, not just others
• How keeping busy can prevent us from processing difficult emotions
• "Control the controllables"—focus only on what you can actually influence
• Creating a mindful practice that keeps you present (for Heather: aerial fitness)
• Recognising patterns in who you allow into your life and setting boundaries accordingly
• Celebrating progress over perfection—acknowledging what you did, not what you didn't
• Moving from "I wish I wasn't here" to gratitude through small daily practices
• The power of showing up authentically rather than hiding behind personas
• How transformation often comes through difficulty we'd rather avoid

In this deeply relatable episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Heather Rider, an anxiety specialist and coach, about her decade-long struggle with high-functioning anxiety—a condition she didn't even realise she had whilst appearing outwardly calm and achieving remarkable success in her career.

Heather shares her experience of being an ultra-high achiever who spent hours perfecting even simple emails, constantly replaying past conversations in her mind, and creating elaborate contingency plans for every possible future scenario. Whilst colleagues praised her calm demeanour and exceptional work, internally she felt like a "hot mess," mentally exhausted from the constant background dialogue of perfectionism and worry.

The conversation explores how this relentless drive for perfection affected her relationships, particularly with her daughters, leading to cycles of screaming and remorse that she desperately wanted to break but didn't know how to change. Heather explains how the mind can operate on multiple layers, keeping us perpetually in the past or future rather than present—a pattern that took a severe physical crisis to finally break.

The turning point came when her body completely gave out through a severe autoimmune reaction, manifesting in dramatic skin problems (including skin sloughing off in sheets), brain fog so severe she couldn't retain simple information in meetings, and digestive issues. This year-long healing journey became, paradoxically, "the best thing that happened" to her, as focusing on physical healing brought unexpected emotional transformation.

Heather discusses her evolution into someone whose external presentation finally matched her internal experience, and how this journey led to her current work helping other high-achieving women break free from anxiety. She introduces powerful concepts including "little-t traumas" versus "big-T traumas," explaining how seemingly small childhood experiences can create calcified limiting beliefs that play out throughout our lives.

The episode's core message centres on a profound shift in perspective: moving from "why is this happening to me?" to "how is this designed for my benefit?" Heather explains how viewing challenging experiences as lessons designed for our growth transforms us from victims to empowered individuals capable of change.

Key Takeaways:

• High-functioning anxiety often goes unrecognised because sufferers appear calm and successful externally
• Sometimes we need things to break down completely before we can build them up properly
• The power of curiosity over judgement: asking "I wonder why I'm doing that?" instead of self-criticism
• Small steps create profound change: when you do something different, you become someone different
• Patterns that repeat are opportunities to learn the lesson we haven't yet grasped
• Looking for the lesson in difficult experiences transforms suffering into growth

In this deeply moving episode, host Erica Bowen speaks with Sam Rose, author of "Gut Feelings," about her extraordinary journey of surviving three cancer diagnoses by the age of 28 due to Lynch syndrome—a genetic condition that increases cancer risk throughout life.

Sam shares her story beginning with her bowel cancer diagnosis at just 22 years old, followed by womb and duodenal cancers in 2018. Through multiple major surgeries including a colostomy, hysterectomy, and Whipple procedure, Sam has navigated not just the physical challenges of cancer treatment, but the often-overlooked emotional aftermath that cancer survivors face.

The conversation explores the gaps in emotional and mental health support for cancer patients, the difficulty people have in knowing what to say to someone with cancer (with Sam's clear advice: say something, even if it's "I don't know what to say"), and how hope emerges through learning that you can cope with challenges you never imagined facing.

Sam discusses her decision to write "Gut Feelings" as both a personal processing tool and a resource for others navigating similar experiences. She reflects on difficult decisions around fertility, the importance of humour in dark times, and her current work doing a PhD on how creative writing can benefit cancer survivors.

This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone who has faced cancer, supported someone through it, or struggled with what to say to those dealing with illness. Sam's honesty, resilience, and reflections on finding hope through adversity make this a must-listen episode.

Key Takeaways:

• The importance of emotional support after cancer treatment ends
• How learning from past challenges builds hope for the future
• Why saying something—anything—is better than ghosting someone with cancer
• The power of creative writing in processing trauma and illness

In this moving episode of the Hope-Makers podcast, Meriam Boldewijn shares her powerful 20-year journey as a caregiver for both her husband and brother. Born in Suriname and now living in the Netherlands, Meriam opens up about the challenges, breakthroughs, and hope she discovered through her caregiving experience.

Meriam details how her husband underwent dialysis, a kidney-pancreas transplant, and multiple surgeries, while her brother suffered a severe stroke that left him paralyzed on his right side and unable to speak. Throughout these intense caregiving demands, Meriam initially believed she needed to be a "superhero," refusing help until she experienced complete burnout.

The turning point came during a meeting with a social worker who simply asked, "How are you doing?" - a question that led to fifteen minutes of unexpected tears and the realization that she needed to prioritize self-care. Meriam shares how she took the difficult but necessary step of traveling to her home country for a week of respite while her husband was recovering in the hospital.

Through her experiences, Meriam discovered techniques to stay in her power as a caregiver, including meditation, setting boundaries, asking for help, and maintaining hope even in the darkest moments. She explains how she recently closed her successful plus-size clothing business to pursue her true calling - creating a six-week online program to help other caregivers maintain their power and well-being.

The episode concludes with Meriam's three recommendations for bringing more hope into life: writing for three minutes every morning to generate ideas, never thinking you're too old to start something new (she's 50 and launching a business), and never losing hope, even in the most challenging circumstances.

This inspiring conversation highlights the often-overlooked struggles of caregivers while providing practical wisdom for anyone facing difficult life circumstances.

In this inspiring fifth episode of the Hope-Makers podcast, host Erica Bowen continues her conversation with personal development experts Tony Burgess and Julie French, focusing on practical techniques for cultivating hope in daily life.

Erica begins with reflections on finding moments of hope during the pandemic – her parents receiving COVID vaccinations and the simple joy of watching neighborhood children playing in the snow, reminding listeners that even in difficult times, there are glimpses of light.

The conversation with Tony and Julie explores how they work with hope in their therapeutic practice, especially with clients who arrive feeling helpless. They explain how Havening techniques can clear psychological space by emptying the "trauma bucket," creating room for hope to flourish. They also introduce their concept of "Pink Bucket Thinking," a metaphor for distinguishing between helpful and unhelpful thought patterns.

The discussion reveals several powerful concepts: the importance of examining the meanings we give to experiences, focusing our attention on where we want to go rather than obstacles (illustrated through Tony's motorcycle lesson), recognizing that we all stand on a foundation of past achievements, and learning to see the "diamond" of potential within ourselves and others.

The episode concludes with three practical tools listeners can implement immediately:

1. Being mindful of media consumption that may increase anxiety, choosing instead to engage with content that nurtures hope
2. Strengthening self-concept through exercises like completing "At my very, very best I am..." statements
3. Transforming "what if" questions from tools of catastrophizing into powerful invitations for possibility thinking

This episode offers both inspiring perspectives and actionable techniques to help listeners maintain hope and resilience, especially during challenging times.

In this inspiring episode of the Hope-Makers podcast, Erica is joined by personal development experts Tony Burgess and Julie French, a dynamic couple who both live and work together as therapists, coaches, and trainers.

Tony and Julie share their journey in the personal development field, where they've been partners since 2005, working across various domains including corporate training, one-on-one therapeutic work, and coaching. They discuss their extensive experience with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Havening techniques for trauma clearing, psychometric profiling, and even facilitating transformative experiences like fire walks and glass walking.

The conversation delves into personal stories of hope, with Tony recounting how his scout leader "Twiggy" instilled a powerful sense of self-efficacy and a "can do" attitude that has served as a reference point throughout his life. Julie shares her profound journey with an autoimmune condition called polymyalgia rheumatica, which took her from running marathons to temporarily needing a wheelchair. She explains how she maintained hope through this challenging time by focusing on what she could control and mentally rehearsing not just healing but coping effectively no matter the outcome.

Tony and Julie introduce their concept of "Pink Bucket Thinking" (freely available as a PDF on their website), which provides a framework for noticing unhelpful thought patterns and replacing them with more constructive ones. They share practical tools for cultivating hope, including:

• Being mindful of what media you consume, especially during challenging times like a pandemic
• Nurturing your self-concept by acknowledging positive qualities through exercises like "At my very, very best I am..."
• Harnessing the power of "what if" questions positively rather than catastrophizing

This episode offers listeners both inspiring personal stories and practical techniques to build resilience and maintain hope through life's inevitable challenges.