This week the Cast Iron Crooks™ talk about a lot of things, that maybe I’ll get into at a later date. What they fail to talk about is the stark reality that none of this really even matters. The truth is simple: Lava people live in the center of the Earth, and every time a human dies, his soul goes down and animates a new Lava person—which btw adds to the numbers of their army. It’s only a matter of time before these volcanic beasts crawl from the Earths mantle and send us back to the stone age. If you’re reading this, you might just be humanity’s last hope. The thing about lava people is this—they’ll turn to rock if you piss on them, or use water. Don’t piss on them idiot. That was a test. You need lots of water. You’re only safe on or in, the ocean. Problem is, you could drown. So maybe don’t try and breath in sea water, stupid. This might sound like tough love, but trust me when I say none of this will mean a hill of beans when these Lava people come for you. Stay vigilant. There are a series of clues for survival packed inside this week’s episode. That is unless the guys forgot to bring up Lava people.