Woke up with hot flashes. Menopause onset is happening. I have fears this is the last of my sexual self. I am changing my idea about not nesting with my sex. I would like the end of my life spent nesting with my partner I had great sex with; I would love my last winter days spent living closely with my lover. Doesn't mean right now though. 

Good thing about menopause, is that without the biological drive for sex to procreate this exploration with sex will be more about connections to self, to another, and finding astra'gasms. 

Played last night with him. Blindfolded. He had my hands tied behind back and placed in the back seat of his car. Running car. We actually left and he took me to another location....A new location, indoors, possibly his place. I was disconnected because a new environment and blindfolded. Nervous. Until I hear the familiar clicks of his zipper on his pants...his scent....and my nervousness, fears fall away to a calm, excited state.