Housewarming by Julie Hoverson (19 Nocturne Boulevard reissue of the week)

In classic 1940s Hollywood, aspiring screenwriter Fiona Cross discovers the pitfalls of writing remakes - including, perhaps, romance with an undying legend of the silver screen. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Fiona Cross - E. Vickery Victor Malacard - Cole Hornaday George - Jerry Bennett Margie - Kristina Yuen Andy - Michael Faigenblum Additional Voices - Rhea Lutton, Julie Hoverson,  Reynaud LeBoeuf Music:  Gabriel Garcea (gagamusic.eu) (also available on Jamendo) 19 Nocturne Theme:  Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson Sound effects found on Soundsnap.com Recorded with the assistance of Ryan Hirst of Neohoodoo Studio Cover Photos:  (courtesy of Stock Xchange.com) "What kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a movie studio office - can't you tell? Where else would you find... a screenwriter?" _______________________________________________     HOUSEWARMING Cast:   [opening credits/Olivia] Fiona Cross, screenwriter   George Webber, producer   Victor Malacard, actor/director   Margie, best friend   Mason, butler   Andy, a Messenger   Instructor voice, on P.A. Landlady   OLIVIA Did you have any trouble finding it? What  do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a film producer's office, can't  you tell?   SCENE 1 MUSIC SOUND EFFICIENT TYPING, PHONES IN THE BACKGROUND GEORGE The bad news is -it's really very good. FIONA [excited] Wonderful! [waitaminute] That's  the bad news? GEORGE Yup. Because we can't use it. SOUND SHEAF OF PAPERS TOSSED ONTO TABLE. FIONA What? But ...but Mr. Webber, you said it  was GEORGE Practically brilliant. I'll even read your  next one, and I don't say that often.  [pauses, thinks] Ever. But, Miss Cross...  you should know by now that writing remakes  is a complete waste of time. There's all  sorts of issues. We don't want to get sued. FIONA But The House on the Peak was made- GEORGE Twenty-odd years ago. It's still dicey.  Whoever owns it could sue us, and after that  fiasco at Champion pictures last year...  We're taking no chances. We're not Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, you know. FIONA If ... what if I could make an arrangement  with the owner? Would you still be  interested? GEORGE [cagey] Well, I said it was good, but I  never actually said I was interested.  [beat] Come back when you've got a  signature. MUSIC BRIDGE   SCENE 2 SOUND TINNY PHONOGRAPH MUSIC INSTRUCTOR [off mike throughout] And lift. One. Two. FIONA [puffing slightly throughout] All that  work! MARGIE [puffing slightly throughout] Goodness,  Fiona, didn't anyone ever tell you never  adapt? INSTRUCTOR ...five and six. Arms up! FIONA I guess I figured the studio would handle  all that. MARGIE [teasing] Did you just drop off the turnip  truck -Oh, sorry, the porkchop truck. INSTRUCTOR ...seven and eight -keep them up! FIONA [teasing back] You just watch it, we  Piggottsville girls are tough! [puffs a  bit] Now I just have to get up the nerve. MARGIE [sarcastic] Nerve? YOU? I can't imagine! INSTRUCTOR [off] I hear someone talking! FIONA [whispered] Enough nerve to go and talk to  Victor Malacard. MUSIC BRIDGE   SCENE 3 SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY. WOODSY NOISES FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA OK, Fee. Let's see what you've got. Scene:  Heroine walks up to big spooky house. She  is nervous. Almost trembling -wait, no  scratch that. She is resolved, plucky.  Much better. SOUND CREAK OF WOOD, BIRD CALL FIONA [slightly spooked] Or not. Come on, Fee.  You can DO this. Plucky heroine, for  goodness sake. Pluck up. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA What a scene. Artfully disheveled garden.  Overgrown and dried out fountain. Huge  mansion in exactly the proper state of  dilapidation. [tries to laugh] I should be  taking notes. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD STAIRS FIONA [practicing] Mr. Malacard, I am such a big  fan of--No, I'm sure he hears THAT all  the- SOUND FOOTSTEPS SLOW DOWN, THEN STOP. FIONA [firm] Mr. Malacard. I have a proposition  for--Oh pooh! [ingratiating] Mr.  Malacard. How wonderful to finally meet- SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN. FIONA [gasp] MASON [spooky and unwelcoming] May I help you? FIONA [muttered] I bet you get a lot of these  roles. MASON Hmm? FIONA Sorry. Nothing. I would like to speak to  Mr. Malacard. MASON No. SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT. FIONA What? Aren't you supposed to say something  like [aping his voice] "I'm afraid Mr.  Malacard... isn't himself today." [normal  voice] and give me a chance to argue with  you? [pause] Huh? SOUND TWO FOOTSTEPS ON WOOD, THEN SHE SITS ON THE  STAIR WITH A CREAK. FIONA [calling over her shoulder] Very well,  then. I'm not leaving. I'll just sit here  until the spiderwebs grow up over me and I  become part of the set! SOUND BIRDS. FIONA [muttered] Or at least until I get up the  nerve to walk back to town. [sigh] Well,  it's kind of nice here, anyway. Peaceful.  [takes a couple of deep breaths] SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH VICTOR [coming on mike] Can I help you? FIONA What? Oh! [noises, as she stands] Mr.  Mal--Wait. You can't be--I'm confused. VICTOR [chuckles] I look just like him, don't I?  I'm Victor Malacard the lesser. Call me  Vic. FIONA Fiona Cross. I'm so pleased! I'm a writer,  you see, and-15            VICTOR [cold] So sorry. Father doesn't give  interviews. FIONA Oh, no -I'm a screenwriter. I wrote a  wonderful script- VICTOR [perturbed] He doesn't act any more,  either. FIONA Does he let people finish their sentences? VICTOR [chuckling in spite of himself] All right.  Just point to me when it's my cue. FIONA [deep breath] I wrote a new version of The  House on the Peak, your father's  masterpiece, and I would very much like to  get it produced- FIONA --because I spent a lot of time on it, and  I know he would be flattered if he could  only read it, because, well, the original  was brilliant, but most people DO like sound  nowadays, and this would bring his work back  for more people to see, and if I could just  get his permission, I have a studio which is  VERY interested. VICTOR [pause] My turn? Then... all right. FIONA All right then, what? VICTOR Let me read it. I'll see if it's all you  say it is. FIONA But your father- VICTOR Is old and very ill -one reason I cannot  let anyone into the house. I have all the  authority necessary. I assume you brought your script? FIONA Oh, yes! SOUND SNAPS OPEN SHOULDERBAG, PULLS OUT SHEAF OF  PAPERS. FIONA Really, I'm a much better writer than I must  sound like, from the way I talk. I just get  really- SOUND A COUPLE OF PAGES FLIP VICTOR Come back in a couple of days. Saturday. FIONA Oh, no! I've heard that one before. It's  not so late, I'll wait while you read it.  [BEAT] Besides, I need to borrow your phone  to call a cab. VICTOR [cold] I'm afraid you're doomed to  disappointment on many levels, Miss Cross.  I refuse to read on demand, and you cannot  come in. FIONA But it's miles to the nearest- VICTOR You'd better start walking. I will see you  on Saturday. MUSIC TIME PASSES   SCENE 4 SOUND DOOR OPENS. CRACKLE OF WAXED PAPER. VICTOR [warning] I am not going to--[surprised]  What is that? FIONA Lunch. You're not going to what? VICTOR You brought - FIONA If there's one thing that Hollywood taught  me, it's come prepared for a siege. You're  lucky I didn't have time to make pastrami  and onion sandwiches, though they work a  whole lot better in an office. VICTOR Work... better? FIONA Nothing like the chance you might stink up  someone's office to motivate them to give  you five minutes. VICTOR [chuckles] FIONA Want some? VICTOR What? Oh, no -I've eaten. FIONA [snort] Hospital food, I bet -all bland and  toothless. It's always like that when  someone in the house is sick. VICTOR No, [sighs, then, resigned] no -if there's  one thing Mason makes certain of, it's that  the food is good. FIONA That your butler? Or is he some kind of  nurse? VICTOR Some kind... um, something. FIONA [bright, teasing] So, did you read it yet? VICTOR There's hardly been time- FIONA [Sweetly] Then why waste it talking to me? VICTOR [sad] It's not something I get to do very  often. Talking. To someone. FIONA Read the script, and I promise I'll come  back and talk up a storm. SOUND DISTANT THUNDER VICTOR [sigh, pause] Speaking of storms, it looks  like rain. If you need to walk back to  town, you'd best get started. FIONA I'm a farm girl. We're built tough. And  reasonably waterproof. VICTOR [chuckle ruefully] SOUND DOOR SHUTS. MUSIC TIME PASSES   SCENE 5 SOUND CRICKETS, NIGHT SOUNDS, RAIN [a beat] DOOR  OPENS VICTOR Tsk. Do you know what time it is? FIONA Judging from the position of the stars, what  little I can see of them -my watch says  about 9. VICTOR [a beat, then] I read it. FIONA [gasps, then tight] And? VICTOR It's brilliant. FIONA Really? VICTOR Here's your release. My lawyer can validate  it in the morning. FIONA Oh! I could kiss you [SHE DOES] VICTOR [shaken] I... Miss Cross...! FIONA Fiona. You know, you really do look like  your father. You're lucky. He was really  something, back in the day. It's those  eyes. VICTOR Yes, I... [with emphasis] He... SOUND CAR APPROACHES, STOPS. VICTOR What? Who the devil--? FIONA My cab. I arranged for it to pick me up at 9. Siege or not, I'm not sleeping on  anyone's doorstep but my own. Thanks again! SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. FIONA [off] ...and if you're ever in town...! VICTOR [yelling slightly] Of course...! SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS SOUND HOUSE DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN. VICTOR [sadly to self] ...not. SOUND SLOW FOOTSTEPS ACROSS THE PORCH. MUSIC   SCENE 6 SOUND TENNIS, CROWD, IN BACKGROUND THROUGHOUT. MARGIE So, they loved it. Did you write yourself a  part? FIONA What? MARGIE Oh, come on-don't tell me you only aspire  to be the pen and not the face? FIONA I just enjoy writing. I'm in complete  control of the world. Everyone in my story  has to listen to me and do what I say. MARGIE But acting is where the fame is. FIONA Who wants fame? VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 33, Court 1 is open. MARGIE Are we getting close? SOUND RUSTLE OF PAPER FIONA Should be next. MARGIE So you're in it for the money? FIONA No... I guess... I'm in it to ... to see it  happen. MARGIE [pause] Are you explaining or should I order  another drink? FIONA I want to see things from my imagination up  there on the screen. I want to create  something that people will remember. MARGIE And you don't want to be famous or rich?  You're nuts. FIONA Rich would be OK, but famous just means you  never get away. That must be why Mr.  Malacard lives out in the country -to get  away from the craziness. MARGIE Craziness? In Hollywood? Perish the  thought! [pause] So, can I have your part? FIONA [laughs] There aren't really any good  female roles in the House on the Peak. MARGIE Will I sound hopelessly undereducated if I  admit I've never actually seen this fabulous  item? FIONA You never--? Where did you grow up, a cave?  I mean even in Piggottsville, it showed for  three whole nights -and then each year near  Halloween. I think the theater proprietress musta had a thing for Malacard. MARGIE Spare me the down home gossip and tell me  about this masterpiece. FIONA Well, it's sort of modeled on this story by  Edgar Allen Poe- MARGIE Didja have to get permission from him, too? FIONA Shush. He's been dead for -I dunno, a  century? Besides, it's not really the same  idea, just the tone. See, there's this guy  who goes home after his father's death, to  see his twin brother who he hasn't seen in  years- MARGIE Which one was your mysterious actor? FIONA Oh, Victor Malacard played both brothers.  It was groundbreaking at the time -using  cutaways and doubles- MARGIE Is this important? FIONA [chuckles] I guess not. But the brother  who'd been away was a man of the world, very  caught up in business, and the one who  stayed was a strange lonely man who talked  to himself- MARGIE [sarcastic] In a silent film, no less. FIONA [agreeing] Malacard was a genius. They've  got their eye on this new fellow -he was in  that film, "Laura"- MARGIE Stick to the point! FIONA Tsk. So it turns out the house is alive,  and must have a family member in residence  or it will die. But the one who stayed  would live forever, barring falling out of a  window, which is what'd happened to their  father. MARGIE Foul play? FIONA You got it -turns out one of the sons had  killed dear old dad to take his place as  head of the family, and live forever. MARGIE Was it the creepy one? VOICE ON P.A. [filter] Number 34, court 3 is open. SOUND GLASS PUT DOWN, BAGS SNATCHED UP FIONA I'll tell you whodunnit... but only if you  beat me. MUSIC   SCENE 7 SOUND CAR DOOR SLAMS. FEET ON GRAVEL. FEET SLOW DOWN. FIONA Oh. Hullo! SOUND CAB DRIVES AWAY VICTOR I heard you coming. FIONA Oh, and here I thought old Igor your butler  was a warlock or something. VICTOR Mason is a lot of things, but--[pause]  What's that? More scripts? FIONA No, silly. It's a picnic. VICTOR A what--? FIONA Pic. Nic. Food to eat outside so as not to  bother those inside whom shall not be named. VICTOR But, you- FIONA I promised I would talk up a storm, didn't  I? If Hollywood taught me one thing, it's  to keep my promises. VICTOR Well. [bemused, but pleased] Very well,  then. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL. DOOR OPENS [OFF]. MASON [off] Sir? VICTOR [calling] Don't worry, I'll stay where you  can see me. MASON [off] Very good, sir. FIONA Wow, he sure keeps you on a short leash. VICTOR [deep with meaning] So true. FIONA Well, this looks good -and see, there's a  window right there where your keeper can  peep out and make sure nothing improper  happens. SOUND BLANKET SPREAD, THINGS BEING TAKEN OUT OF  PICNIC BASKET VICTOR [deep sigh] FIONA [sincere] I do understand. My gramma raised  me -she was from the old country, very wild  Irish, and hospitals would never, never do.  So when she took ill at the end, I had to  look after her. And the farm. Just the two  of us, right up til she passed. VICTOR So being tired of the sticks, you came right  out to Hollywood, no training wheels or  anything? FIONA Oh, I figure I'll go back someday -not to  the farm, but to the country. Being down  here -well, down there -is tough -there  are so many people everywhere. VICTOR Better than being lonely- FIONA You can be lonely in a crowd just as easy as  on a farm, and it's much noisier. The  crowd, I mean. VICTOR More material for your writing. FIONA I don't agree. I figure growing up pretty  much alone is why I have such a good  imagination. Keeping myself occupied,  making up folks to talk to. VICTOR [moving in romantically] And you enjoyed my  --my father's film so much that you decided  to put words to it? FIONA [slightly breathless] I... I didn't so much  write them as sort of translate what he  already said. VICTOR [deep and husky] And very well too. FIONA [gasp, deeply important] Before this goes  any further, I have to say something. VICTOR [snapping out of it] I--we--of course, we  shouldn't- FIONA Since the studio is picking up the cost of  lunch, we have to talk business. I hope you  don't mind. VICTOR [vastly relieved, deep breath] Of course.  Mm, that smells good. No pastrami and  onions? FIONA [laughing] No. [serious] See, the studio  wants to know if we can add a girl -a  romance -to the story. Seems everything  just has to have a love interest these days. VICTOR [sharp] A what? FIONA And a happy ending. They don't want- VICTOR No! Under no circumstances! They're not  going to ruin my--[through gritted teeth]  my... father's vision -with sentimental  claptrap. FIONA [teasing] Really? Sentimental claptrap is  all the rage nowadays. [change of tone,  satisfied] Good. That's what I thought,  but they won't listen to me. Business over. VICTOR But you- FIONA Oh, don't get me wrong, I like romance as  much as the next girl, but it would weaken  the drama. Try a taste of this. VICTOR Um, yes. [takes a bite] That's -mmm,  that's delicious. The drama, you say? Have  you been writing for very long? FIONA This is my first script. That I've  completed, anyway. I've got lots of ideas,  but this one just sort of made me finish it.  It's a bit of an obsession, I guess. VICTOR You should write more. It was very good.  [pause, then throaty] Maybe... romance...  next time. FIONA [oblivious] Maybe. I guess it's easier to  write what you know, though. VICTOR [still making his move] Really? No romance  on the horizon, no beau back home on the  farm? FIONA [reacting, almost breathless] No -no one.  I've ... never... not really, anyway... Oh.  [long indrawn breath, then a teasing  whisper] Your butler's watching us. VICTOR [breaks away] Blast! I can't even--!  [muttered growl] Look at him. [heavy sigh,  then businesslike] This has been very  pleasant, Miss Cross, but I must go- SOUND GETS UP, FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL, MOVING QUICKLY FIONA Hmph? SOUND BITING A CARROT MUSIC   SCENE 8 SOUND BUSY LUNCH COUNTER MARGIE So do you make a habit of scaring off men? FIONA Well -there was this boy back at Jefferson  junior high ... No, I'm teasing. I've  never had much of a chance to try -guess  I'm just a natural. MARGIE And he was circling in for the kill, ready  to land a knockout, when- FIONA The ref appeared and he threw in the towel.  You don't usually think of grown men as  needing a chaperone. MARGIE Maybe he's old fashioned and is trying to  look out for your reputation or something. FIONA Old fashioned I would buy. He's got this  courtly way about him...just like his  father, at least the way he was on the  screen. This sort of graceful way of moving  that expresses so much. MARGIE And what was he expressing just before the  bell rang to call the match? FIONA Well... [blushing] He wasn't afraid -I can  say that for sure. MUSIC   SCENE 9 SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY, FEET ON GRAVEL VICTOR You found your way back? FIONA The picnic was to thank you. Now I'm  buttering you up in case I want to remake  another one of your father's films. VICTOR So what's in the bag this time? Dare I  guess? FIONA No, silly. It's a surprise. I figure, not  leaving the house much, you don't get to  have a lot of fun. VICTOR My... father- FIONA Exactly. So, I figured I'd bring the some  to you. VICTOR Fun? FIONA I remembered you had a swimming pool. VICTOR Pool? But--But there's no water- FIONA And swimsuits don't clank. SOUND CLANK OF SOMETHING METAL IN BAG VICTOR Then, what--? FIONA We-e-ell, can we go look at the pool? VICTOR Uh--yes? SOUND FEET ON GRASS FIONA I hope you don't mind my coming up here like  this. I'm just so exuberant. Or is that  the right word? VICTOR Well, you sound exuberant to me. FIONA Aha, the pool. Oh, good, it's nice and  clean. VICTOR Mason sees to the grounds as well as the  house. FIONA So, here. SOUND CLANK AS BAG IS SET DOWN, UNTYING OF KNOT VICTOR I--I'm intrigued. What do you have there? FIONA Keep in mind, I'm kind of unsophisticated,  here. Another girl might have brought  champagne or something. I hope this isn't  too disappointing. SOUND METAL CLANK VICTOR I can't even tell what those are -I see  metals and wheels, and- FIONA Silly, it's roller skates! MUSIC   SCENE 10 MARGIE Roller skates? You had a chance to romance  a bigwig, and you took him roller skates? FIONA The pool was perfect -I couldn't resist. MARGIE And the two of you rolled around the bottom  of the pool like children? FIONA More or less. Well, mostly me. He was a  bit too dignified to give it a fair shake. MARGIE But you didn't roll around like grownups? FIONA What? MARGIE Nothing. MUSIC   SCENE 11 SOUND CAR DRIVES AWAY, FEET ON GRAVEL FIONA Hello? [beat, then chuckles] Maybe he  didn't see me coming, for once? SOUND FOOTSTEPS IN LEAVES FIONA Hello? How tragic. A perfectly good cab  ride wasted. [worried] Maybe his father's  not doing well. SOUND DOOR OPENS MASON Miss? FIONA Oh, gosh -sorry! I guess I kind of  expected Vic to be around somewhere. He  usually is. MASON He's busy. Inside. [ominous] Would you  like to come in? FIONA Oh, Vic said it's- MASON It's no problem. Really. FIONA Sure. Thanks a lot. SOUND FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL FIONA I can always, go, you know. I don't want to  be a bother. MASON No bother. You're quite welcome here. SOUND FOOTSTEPS SLOW A BIT ON THE WOODEN STAIRS FIONA It'll be interesting to see inside. VICTOR [distant] Fiona? Is that you? SOUND RUNNING FEET APPROACH VICTOR [angry, worried] What's going on? Mason?  [beat] Fiona? FIONA Just looking for you. Mason said you might  be inside. VICTOR [angry hiss] Inside? Get out of here,  Fiona. Just go. We'll be talking about  this, Mason. SOUND FOOTSTEPS DOWN STAIRS INTO GRAVEL FIONA [puzzled] Victor? VICTOR [whispered] I don't want you going in and...  catching anything. Understand? FIONA All right. Um, sorry? VICTOR [cold] Goodbye. [up] Mason! MUSIC   SCENE 12 GEORGE [very serious] Thank you for coming in, Miss  Cross. We have a bit of a problem. FIONA You couldn't get that actor, Price? GEORGE More serious than that. [heavy pause]  Mr. Malacard. FIONA What happened? Is Vic's dad OK? GEORGE Sorry, I meant the son. He rang up  yesterday and said, well... said you've been  pestering him. FIONA [shocked] ...pestering? GEORGE Yes. He said he'll pull the permission for  the film if you bother him again. FIONA [nearly in tears] B-but... I--He never  said- GEORGE [fatherly] Just lay off, at least until the  film is finished. Once it's in  distribution, you can pester him all you  want. FIONA Oh! [sobbing] SOUND CHAIR SCRAPE, RUNNING FOOTSTEPS, DOOR BANGS  OPEN. MUSIC   SCENE 13 SOUND COCKTAIL LOUNGE, MANY ROWDY PEOPLE IN  BACKGROUND FIONA [very down] Pestering. That's what he  said. Apparently. Vic couldn't even tell  me to my face, [breaking down into tears] he  had to send it through- MARGIE There, there. [calls] Waiter! Bring  another one. [half whispered] A double. FIONA No. I really shouldn't. [moping again] I  guess I deserve it -he didn't say I could  come back, but... The picnic was NICE.  Everything was nice. He was nice. Real  nice. I thought. MARGIE They all seem nice -say, you didn't let him  ... have his wicked way with you, didja? FIONA What? No! [melting] I mean, he almost  kissed me at the picnic, but the butler was  watching. MARGIE That's it, then. The butler did it.  Probably threatened to quit or something.  Good help is a lot harder to find in this  town than pretty girls. [lecturing] Most  servants are just actors waiting to be  discovered -they're just not very good, or  they'd be able to act like servants. FIONA [almost a laugh] Hmph. MARGIE That's better. What you need is a night at  a dance hall -meet some nice guys, wear  yourself out, then you can sleep. I  promise, all you'll be worrying about in the  morning is your bunions. MUSIC   SCENE 14 SOUND PERSISTENT CITY NIGHT NOISES. SOUND PHONE RINGS, OFF [PAUSE] THEN POUNDING ON A  DOOR FIONA [waking] Yes? Mm-what? LANDLADY [very annoyed] Phone for you. MUSIC   SCENE 15 SOUND CAB PULLS UP, DOOR SLAMS, RUNNING FEET ON  GRAVEL FIONA [panting] SOUND FEET RUN UP WOOD STAIRS, POUNDING ON DOOR FIONA Hello? Hello? SOUND DOOR SWINGS OPEN MASON [very calm] Oh, good. Come in. FIONA Mason? What happened? You said it was an  emergency? SOUND FOOTSTEPS, DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS CONTINUE  UNDER MASON This way, miss. FIONA [getting more panicky] But, is Vic hurt?  Did his father...? What could he --what  could he want me here for? MASON Through here. SOUND DOOR OPENS MASON The master will be right in, Miss. SOUND DOOR SLAMS SHUT. FIONA [gasp, then yelling] You could at least  turn on a light! [to herself] Which  master? Maybe I'll finally- SOUND DOOR OPENS MASON [off] Just through here, sir. SOUND RELUCTANT FOOTSTEPS MASON [off, condescending] I think this will help  with your --mood, sir. VICTOR [coming on] I can't think of anything worth  getting me up in the middle of the--Fiona?  [truly upset] MASON [off, condescending] Now everything will be  better. FIONA Oh, Vic, I shouldn't have come. I'm so  sorry! Please don't- VICTOR Oh, no! No! FIONA But Mason called me. He said- VICTOR Mason! That filthy--!! SOUND DOOR SLAM CUTS HIM OFF FIONA What is it? VICTOR We must get you out of here! SOUND RUNNING FEET, POUNDING ON WINDOWS, TRYING TO  GET THEM TO OPEN FIONA I don't understand, Vic? VICTOR Blast it Fiona, help me. FIONA No. I want to know what's going on. VICTOR Is this one of those things Hollywood taught  you? Take a bad situation and make it  worse? FIONA No. Oh, here [grunt as she helps try and  push] I wasn't going to ... to not help.  I'm just confused. VICTOR [grunt, then angry noise] No use, they're  sealed. FIONA They are glass. There must be a chair or  something- VICTOR It's never that easy -trust me. This way.  Come on. SOUND RUNNING FEET, SLAM AGAINST CLOSED DOOR BOTH are getting BREATHLESS FIONA Locked! VICTOR Maybe down here! SOUND MORE RUNNING FOOTSTEPS FIONA Don't you know your own house? VICTOR [harsh laugh] Don't slow down. SOUND RUNNING, SCRAMBLE, RATTLE OF LOCKED DOOR FIONA Victor, wait! VICTOR No! I will NOT let him get you! SOUND POUNDING ON DOOR, BUT SLOWER VICTOR [sobs] I won't let IT! FIONA Victor. Breathe, Victor! VICTOR I'm so sorry, Fiona. I don't understand why  it brought you here. FIONA It? Oh! [dawning] Um, I guess everyone  agreed the story needed a bit of romance. VICTOR What? FIONA Your house. It's just like the film -or  close to it -isn't it? VICTOR How could you think--How could you know? FIONA I told you I have a good imagination. VICTOR But you- FIONA And you're the one and only Victor Malacard. VICTOR You're mad! I would have to be- FIONA Almost 60. I looked it up. And you don't  look a day over 35. Coincidentally, the age  you were when you went into seclusion. You  look like him, move like him -even the way  your lips move when you talk -not even  father and son can be THAT much alike. VICTOR It's... the house. FIONA And Mason? VICTOR Mason's not a... person. Just part of it.  The house. He... speaks for it. FIONA And watches over you. VICTOR Keeps me prisoner, you mean. [sadly] And  now, you too. Fiona, I am so dreadfully- FIONA Shh. [calling] Mason? I want to talk to  you -whatever you are. MASON [deep, on filter] Yes miss? VICTOR [yelling] You let her go, you wretch! FIONA Shh. Victor. It'll be fine. VICTOR No...! FIONA Yes. [SOUND -brief kiss] If there's one  thing I learned in Hollywood, it's there's  always room for negotiation. [calling,  sweetly] Mason? MUSIC, fades into-   SCENE 15 MUSIC 1960S BUBBLEGUM POP ON A TINNY RADIO,  DISTANT, WITH BIRDS AND OUTDOOR NOISES.   SOUND MOTORCYCLE APPROACHES, STOPS FIONA [coming on] Ah! Over here, Bobby! Oh! I  was expecting- ANDY Sorry! I'm Andy -Bobby retired. FIONA [chuckles] It's so hard to keep track.  Well, then, Andy. Do you have my packages? SOUND LOADING UP WITH PACKAGES AS HE SPEAKS ANDY Yup, packages from Woolworth's and Mays, a  big bundle of magazines, and here's one from  the studio -a film canister -gee do you  have your own theater? That's way out  there, man, I mean ma'am. FIONA [chuckles] Just leave everything on the  porch. The butler will see that it all gets  inside in one piece. And here's my latest  screenplay -hardly a fair trade, but an  easier trip, eh? Get it to George -no,  wait... I mean Harold, don't I? Harold  Mills is in production these days, right? SOUND SCRIPT CHANGES HANDS ANDY Umm... [working up to say something] So  you're Fiona Cross Malacard? The one who  wrote Trapped by Love? That was a groovy  flick, even if it is kind of ancient. FIONA Well, thank you, Andy. [chuckles] I guess. ANDY But you don't look--I mean, you're really  much--oh, criminee. I mean to say- FIONA You're trying not to say I must be older  than I look? ANDY Uh-huh. FIONA I'll take the compliment. I put it down to  clean country air, good healthy food... VICTOR [way off] Fiona? Was that the deliveries? FIONA ...and a wonderful husband. ANDY Having servants don't hurt neither, eh? FIONA [ironic] No -no, it don't. MUSIC TO END