Houston Moms in the Middle

Ask a teenager what they want to do with their life and you'll get a shrug. Neha Gupta, founder of College Shortcuts, says that shrug is completely normal and completely predictable. She also says it has a price tag, because 25 to 30 percent of students change majors and that pivot runs an extra 20 to 50 thousand dollars.

In this episode she sits down with Brandi Smith to talk about how to actually figure out what your kid is drawn to, why one school counselor covering 700 students was never going to solve this for you, what happens when a student wants to be a neurosurgeon because of a TV show, and the three-year window in high school that closes faster than most parents realize.

Her advice for those three years is not what you'd expect: do less.

In this episode:

0:00 "I don't know" at the dinner table

0:39 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle

1:03 Meet Neha Gupta and College Shortcuts

1:50 One counselor, 700 students

2:13 What you're really investing

2:37 When your parents pick the wrong path for you

3:21 The moment Neha found what she loved

3:41 Pairing kids with real mentors

4:29 Why changing majors costs $20K to $50K

5:14 The perfectionist kid

5:38 From winemaking to human development

8:18 "I want to be a neurosurgeon because of Grey's Anatomy"

9:24 High school is really only three years

11:09 Research papers outside the curriculum

12:34 Do less and have more

13:16 Indian dance to Rockets halftime

14:38 Senior year should feel like a victory lap

15:02 How to reach Neha

Connect with Neha and College Shortcuts:Website: https://collegeshortcuts.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CollegeShortcuts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collegeshortcuts/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/collegeshortcuts

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

They call this the loneliest generation, and Michelle Nasser has seen exactly what that looks like: kids sitting alone in dark rooms with iPads, third graders staring at phones at dismissal instead of running to find their friends. So how do we help our girls put the screens down and find their people?

In this episode of Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith sits back down with Michelle Nasser, Executive Director of Girls on the Run Greater Houston. Michelle is a former college professor, a cancer survivor, and a mom of two middle school daughters, so she's living these years right alongside us.

Together, Brandi and Michelle get into why bullying starts by age nine and why girls learn to bully themselves before anyone else can, the toothpaste experiment that teaches girls their words can't be taken back, the difference between having friends and truly belonging, and what happens when girls from every corner of Greater Houston cross the same finish line at Rice University.

In this episode:

00:00 Intro

01:18 Meet Michelle Nasser

01:40 What is Girls on the Run?

02:38 What loneliness actually looks like

03:50 Device-free practices and reintroducing play

05:04 Group chats, cliques, and bullying that follows them home

05:58 "I'll bully myself before you can bully me"

07:26 The toothpaste experiment

08:40 Friends vs. belonging

10:13 Girls from every corner of Houston

11:46 Removing barriers: scholarships, shoes, and sports hijabs

13:07 Houston in ten years: unstoppable

14:58 How to connect with Girls on the Run

Connect with Girls on the Run Greater Houston:Website: https://www.gotrgreaterhouston.orgInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/girlsontherun_greaterhouston

Want GOTR at your school? Talk to your principal and reach out to the team!

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

Your kid comes to you with something about their relationship … and it scares you. What you say in the next 60 seconds decides whether they ever come to you again.

In this episode of Houston Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith welcomes back Maisha Colter, CEO of AVDA (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse), for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Maisha explains why one in three teenagers experiences dating abuse, why domestic violence is one of the only crimes that isn't declining, and how to tell the difference between normal teenage drama and coercive control. She also walks parents through exactly what to do, and what not to do, in the first hour after a child discloses something frightening.

If you listened to the first conversation, this is where it gets real. If you didn't, start here anyway.

In this episode:

0:00 Houston leads the state

0:46 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle1:11 What AVDA does

1:40 What she wants people to know this October

2:25 The crime that isn't going down

3:30 1 in 3 teens, and whether it tracks in Houston

4:24 LiveRespect, Coaching Boys into Men, and getting into schools

5:44 Why dating never makes the danger list

6:29 We made it a conversation about sex

7:26 SB9 and what schools can actually do

7:59 Teenage intensity or red flag?8:50 Power and contro

l9:51 "Love should not hurt"

10:43 The exercise to do with your teen tonight

11:40 Your kid tells you something scary

12:06 Listen. Don't judge.

12:32 Making the response collaborative13:26 Letting them lead the solution

14:34 The Home Safe Home Gala, October 15

15:42 How to reach AVDA

If you or someone you know needs support, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. 

Connect with AVDA: https://avda.org/AVDA education and outreach: https://avda.org/education-outreach/

AVDA help line: 713-224-9911

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

Your teen looks up from dinner and asks what you know about anxiety and depression. You say something that sounds smart. They see right through it. So what do you do when your kid needs words for what they're feeling … and you don't have them either?

In this episode of Houston Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith sits down with Doug Johnston {who writes as D. Earl Johnston}, a former bank president, private equity executive, expert witness, and world champion sailor who spent nine years researching his book, Choosing Emotions: Thinking with Your Head and Acting with Your Heart. Doug shares the father-daughter dinner game that stumped him, the three quotes he texted his daughter two weeks later {and what she texted back}, and why he believes the best way to define an emotion is through the words of someone who has felt it. He also explains the two jobs every emotion does, why, as Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman wrote, our brains give bad news priority, and why Doug calls emotions "navigational."

If you've ever fumbled for the right words while your tween or teen was hurting, this one is worth your next carpool line.

In this episode:

• 0:00 Cold open
• 0:52 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle
• 1:18 From private equity to a book about feelings
• 2:22 College Bowl: the father-daughter dinner game
• 3:28 "Dad, can I ask the questions?"
• 4:19 Three quotes from people who lived through depression
• 6:56 The text … and what she sent back
• 7:55 What an emotion feels like vs. what it looks like
• 9:25 How 30 emotions turned into 272
• 11:45 "Most of us operate in like 12"
• 14:54 What parents of tweens and teens need to know
• 16:22 The two jobs every emotion does
• 17:10 Why your brain puts bad news first
• 17:45 Emotions are navigational
• 18:30 Where to find Choosing Emotions

If you or your teen is struggling, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7.

Signs of depression in teens, from the National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/teen-depression

Connect with Choosing Emotions:

• Website: https://choosingemotions.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/choosingemotions/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Choosing-Emotions/61586310792690/
• Get the book: https://a.co/d/0RfeFnn

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/houston-moms-in-the-middle/id6799670892

Subscribe for a new episode every Wednesday.

Your kid's boyfriend texts constantly. He wants to know where she is. She thinks it means he loves her. So how do you know when it's teenage intensity and when it's a red flag?

In this episode of Houston Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith sits down with Maisha Colter, CEO of AVDA (Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse), an attorney, and a social worker. Maisha explains why the healthy relationship conversation starts in preschool, how to open the door with a teenager who gives you one word answers, and where the line falls between the normal tracking culture of modern teens and coercive control. She also breaks down what AVDA actually does, why it isn't a shelter, and how any parent or school can bring their prevention team in for free.

If you have a tween or teen who is starting to date, or who is about to, this one is worth your next commute.

In this episode:

• 0:00 The relationship I could see right away
• 0:39 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle
• 1:14 What AVDA actually is, and why it's not a shelter
• 2:23 The program for people who cause harm
• 4:13 When this conversation should start
• 5:29 What it sounds like at 5, at 10, and at 15
• 7:08 What parents underestimate
• 9:03 Finding the segue when your kid gives you nothing
• 11:04 Put a pin in it: scheduling the hard conversation
• 12:43 Constant texting, constant location checks
• 14:20 When tracking is culture and when it's control
• 15:34 Stalking looks different than it used to
• 16:43 "They're so jealous, they love me so much"
• 17:15 The power and control wheel
• 18:26 How to bring AVDA to your school or PTA
• 20:50 Ways to get involved

If you or someone you know needs support, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. 

Connect with AVDA: https://avda.org/AVDA education and outreach: https://avda.org/education-outreach/

AVDA help line: 713-224-9911

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

"How was your day?" "Fine." Sound familiar? There's a better question, and it works whether your kid is 5 or 17.

In this episode of Houston Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith sits back down with Nicole Humlicek, a 20-year educator and upper school principal at The Honor Roll School in Sugar Land, for a full breakdown of Rose, Thorn, Spaghetti. Nicole explains where the technique came from, how to personalize it for any age, why the order of the questions matters, and how to respond when your kid actually opens up so they'll keep doing it. She also shares how to use the same framework to get insight into your teen's social media life.

If you're parenting a tween or teen who gives you one-word answers, this is a tool you can start using in the car today.

In this episode:

• 0:00 The 90-second window in the car
• 0:33 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle
• 1:16 What is Rose, Thorn, Spaghetti?
• 2:13 Why letting them rename it matters
• 4:01 Why the order of the questions works
• 4:28 Using it at the dinner table (and when it flops)
• 5:38 "I failed my math test." Now what?6:26 Flipping the question upside down
• 7:33 What kids actually call it, from 5 to 17
• 8:25 Using it to see into their social media world
• 10:04 Listening without jumping to the fix
• 10:54 How to connect with Nicole

Connect with Nicole Humlicek and The Honor Roll School: https://thehonorrollschool.com/

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

Deep breath. This is the conversation most parents would rather avoid and it might be the most important one we have with our kids.

In this episode of Moms in the Middle, host Brandi Smith welcomes back therapist Elizabeth Westbrook to talk about teen sex, consent, and emotional safety. Elizabeth owns The Reclaimed Collective, a West Houston practice dedicated to trauma and sexuality care. She's a licensed clinical social worker, certified neuropsychotherapist, certified mediator, court-appointed parent facilitator, credentialed sex therapy associate through the American Board of Christian Sex Therapists, and a mom of four.

Together they cover why anatomical names for body parts are a safety issue, not just an awkward one, the code-word system that gives your kid an instant way out of an uncomfortable situation, when to start talking about consent (earlier than you think), how your reaction to the first hard question determines whether they bring you the next one, and why the contraception conversation belongs to our sons too.

⚠️ Content note: This episode includes candid discussion of sexual assault and uses anatomical language. Headphones recommended if little ears are nearby.

In this episode:

• 00:00 Intro and content note
• 00:40 Welcome to Moms in the Middle
• 01:15 Meet Elizabeth Westbrook02:15 How Elizabeth opens these conversations with parents
• 04:00 Why the discomfort is worth pushing through
• 04:30 "Call me, no questions asked" and the FaceTime handoff
• 05:50 Building a code word or emoji escape plan
• 06:50 Why your reaction to the first question matters most
• 08:30 Keeping "somebody from eighth period" from being the expert
• 09:35 Why pet names for body parts are a safety issue
• 11:30 Talking about consent: early and often
• 14:20 "No is a complete sentence"
• 15:55 There's no script, and you don't have to answer in the moment
• 17:50 The Bridgerton conversation nobody planned for
• 19:40 Contraception talks are for our sons too
• 20:45 Final thoughts: you're the expert on your child
• 22:00 How to connect with Elizabeth

Connect with Elizabeth Westbrook:

Website: https://www.reclaimed-co.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesneakerheadtherapist/The Reclaimed Collective on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.reclaimed.co/

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

Think back to how you applied to college. You mailed it in, you had a decent GPA and a solid SAT, maybe a club and a sport, and that was enough. That process is gone.

Neha Gupta, founder of College Shortcuts, has spent nearly two decades walking Houston families through college admissions. In this episode she sits down with Brandi Smith to explain what actually changed, why admissions officers are looking for "spiky" students instead of well-rounded ones, whether college is even the right call for every kid, and what private school tuition can and cannot promise you anymore.

We also get into the number most parents never see coming: 45 to 80 essays for a student applying to 10 or 15 top schools.

In this episode:0:00 The panic you're already feeling

0:33 Welcome to Houston Moms in the Middle

1:04 Meet Neha Gupta and College Shortcuts

1:51 What's changed since we applied

2:46 What an "average" SAT used to get you

3:33 Why the process got this competitive

3:58 The "spiky" student explained

4:52 Admissions works like a job application now

5:14 Is college right for every kid?

6:11 What actually matters: speak, write, network

7:18 UT Austin went from top 10% to top 5%

8:04 What private school tuition doesn't buy

8:31 Why counselors quietly lower school lists

9:28 45 to 80 essays per student

10:39 How to reach Neha

11:17 Coming up next week

Connect with Neha and College Shortcuts:Website: https://collegeshortcuts.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CollegeShortcuts

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collegeshortcuts/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/collegeshortcuts

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood.

New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

Have you watched your once-fearless girl go quiet? Michelle Nasser, Executive Director of Girls on the Run Greater Houston, says girls' confidence starts to dip as early as third grade. In this episode of Moms in the Middle, she tells Brandi what low confidence really looks like (hint: it might be that hoodie she wears in the Houston heat), the moment around week three when everything starts to shift, and the question Michelle asks her own daughters instead of telling them what to do.

Michelle is a former college professor, a cancer survivor, and a mom of an 11 and 13 year old, so she's navigating these years right alongside us. Whether your daughter is in elementary school or already off at college, this conversation is packed with reminders our girls need to hear on repeat.

In this episode:

0:00 Have you watched your girl go quiet?

0:39 Welcome to Moms in the Middle1:29 Meet Michelle Nasser

1:51 What is Girls on the Run?

3:14 What low confidence looks like on day one

4:29 The hoodie in the Houston heat

5:02 Week three: when everything shifts

6:14 The 5K finish line

6:59 Even her daughters need the reminders

8:17 Lunchbox notes and hidden luggage notes

10:03 Social media and "why am I chopped?"

11:56 The one question that moves the needle

13:49 How to connect with Girls on the Run

14:57 See you next Wednesday

💛 CONNECT WITH GIRLS ON THE RUN GREATER

HOUSTONWebsite: https://www.gotrgreaterhouston.orgInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/girlsontherun_greaterhouston

Want GOTR at your school? Talk to your principal and reach out to the team!

Houston Moms in the Middle is a podcast from the team at Houston Moms for parents navigating the in-between years: tweens, teens, and early adulthood. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Have a topic you want us to cover? Email [email protected]

More from Houston Moms: https://houstonmom.com/

Subscribe for a new episode every Wednesday.

Nicole Humlicek has spent 20 years in classrooms and school hallways, and she'll tell you that tweens and middle schoolers are her favorite people on earth. Complications and all. She sat down with Brandi for this episode of Houston Moms in the Middle to talk about the thing so many of us are quietly struggling with: how to have a real conversation with a kid whose entire vocabulary has shrunk to "fine," "good," and a shrug.

With Houston kids settling back into the school year, the daily "how was your day?" is about to get a lot of mileage, and Nicole, the upper school principal at The Honor Roll School, has a better option. She walks through “Rose, Thorn, Spaghetti,” a predictable little framework that trades rapid-fire interrogation for something kids will actually answer, and explains why letting them rename the parts makes them buy in. She also gets into what's happening under the hood at this age, comparing a developing prefrontal cortex to driving I-10 mid-construction, which lands especially well if your house happens to have a teenager and a perimenopausal mom swinging through hormones at the same time. Then there's the harder stuff: why coming in hot gets you scorched earth, why our instinct to fix things fast usually backfires, and how modeling an apology to your own kid often gets you one back.

Nicole points parents toward the family resources page at The Honor Roll School, where the school shares its own podcasts and a recommended reading list for families raising this age group.

This conversation is a reminder that we can't control what our kids say or do… but we can always control how we show up for the conversation that comes next.