Sportsmap contributor Paul Muth and Jeff Dustin survived cold dam water and vaccines throughout the week to discuss Dogecoin and ESPN’s terrible coverage of the Astros’ return to the Bronx. Gerrit Cole used some choice language during Yordan Alvarez’ incredible week. What is OPS? Is the NBA draft lottery rigged? Do you remember these Rockets? We don’t. Texans bought a linebacker, and the headline of the week is about roughly $2,000 worth of ice cream.

Sportsmap contributor Paul Muth survived surgery to get this podcast episode out with Jeff Dustin to help. The two break down the Texans draft picks and explain just how dumb they are. The Rockets own the worst record in the league, but had some fun moments this week. The Astros are on a tear and Paul and Jeff explain why. The headlines of the week involve an angry Nintendo and a hungry robber.

Jeff Dustin and Paul Muth catch up on their old people weekends and Jeff recaps the UFC fight. Jake Paul is picking the wrong fight with Daniel Cormier. The Astros are surging, and young pitchers Christian Javier and Kent Emmanuel are turning heads. What is going on with the AL West? The Rockets are still terrible, Sterling Brown got jumped, Kevin Porter Jr. entered the Health and Safety Protocol for defending Brown, and the concerning resignation of CEO Tad Brown could indicate how bad the climate has become in the front office. The Texans are preparing for this week’s draft, and Deshaun’s legal battle gets uglier. The headline of the week involves a Uber driver in a river.

Paul Muth and Jeff Dustin run down the Jake Paul Pay-Per-View, then break down the Astros skid. The Rockets are still bad, the Texans made some good moves, and the Headline of the Week involves a taco and Crystal Meth.

Jeff Dustin and Paul Muth discuss long weekends and snowboard spills. Then they recap the Astros hot start, the Rockets continued downward spiral, and Deshaun Watson’s continued descent. The headline of the week involves a nine-fingered fighter.

Paul Muth and Jeff Dustin lead off discussing parking lot Jameson shots and broken pinkies.

The conversation moves on to UH fizzling in the Final Four, Carlos Correa failing to sign a new deal, the Astros opening a can on the Oakland A’s to start 4-0, and who’s looking good so far on the squad. They also cover just how bad the Rockets are, the Texans savvy business moves, and Deshaun Watson in less than three minutes again. The Headline of the Week involves machetes and broom petting.

Jeff Dustin and Paul Muth talk about living in Austin, dive bars, UH in the Elite Eight, best baseball names in the division, Astros contracts accepted and rejected, Deshaun Watson update in three minutes or less, Rockets snapping streaks, and how badly the Rockets lost the trade deadline. The headline of the week involves a good doggo.

Jeff and Paul break down the latest Texans free agency signings, and discuss the hot water Deshaun Watson finds himself in. Paul gets too excited about UH in the dance, and speed reads the Rockets recap.

Jeff and Paul break down the strategy behind the Texans free agency moves, then they discuss how bad the Rockets are and an Astro worth keeping an eye on.4:55 – Bar arm wrestling7:17 – Best ball park food8:11 – Baseball first dates10:06 – Texans trade LBs with Miami13:00 – Why are the Texans restructuring contracts17:50 – Mark Ingram, Christian Kirksey signed22:30 – David Culley is a liar30:38 – Rockets lose 15 in a row34:32 – PJ Tucker37:34 – Eric Gordon injury40:05 – Kevin Porter Jr. update42:43 – Myles Straw looking good51:04 – Headline of the week

Jeff and Paul discuss the Astros big pitching signing, JJ’s depature and IG team, and what the Rockets need to do to someday be better.

2:42 – UFC Recap7:35 – The dumbest CFB list ever11:52 – Everyone in baseball is cheating, blurred catcher signals13:40 – Framber Valdez injured17:04 – Astros sign Jake Odorizzi21:12 – Grey’s anatomy is still a thing?22:00 – Forrest Whitley injury news23:31 – JJ moves to Arizona27:06 – JJ’s instagram team29:56 – JJ ice baths, what’s the point of ice fishing31:17 – Texans sign center Justin Britt33:08 – Rockets game recaps35:20 – Harden’s return to Houston37:07 – Reitiring Harden’s jersey?41:30 – John Wall’s NSFW opinion on the skid42:38 – How to fix the Rockets45:36 – No on wants to play in Houston55:05 – Reddit headline of the Week