How Can I Cope With Life’s Tragedies? Archives - Christian Questions Bible Podcast

In our last episode about God’s vengeance bringing the end of the world as we know it, we examined several Old Testament prophecies that pointed to how God’s vengeance works in the dismantling of all vestiges of our present and sin-ridden world. When these dramatic prophecies are focused on without the context of the rest of God’s character, they are often understood to paint a bleak and harsh picture of who God is. In this episode, we will again focus on Old Testament prophecies. However, this time we will be looking at what happens AFTER the vengeance of God is exercised. What we will find is a breathtaking view of not only who God is, but what His plan REALLY has in store for ALL of humanity. If you truly want to know who God is, then follow along as we unfold the rest of the story!

It’s easy for Christians to forget or discount the Old Testament. Afterall, it’s all about the Law, the Jewish nation, and all of their history and experiences. What can we possibly gain from all of that except learning what not to do? Unfortunately, when we take this approach, we set ourselves up to miss some of the most spectacular parts of the whole Bible. Ignoring the Old Testament means we miss its prophecies. When we miss God speaking to us through those ancient prophets, we miss His detailed explanations of what the future will bring, including, yes, peace on earth.

There are two major things that Old Testament prophecies reveal regarding the end times. First, they explain the “time of trouble” and God’s wrath. Of all the Old Testament prophecies, these matters gather the most attention. as they can be dramatic and scary. It is here that the missed opportunity begins for so many Christians. They settle into the trouble and for some reason don’t search out the MANY prophecies that lay out what happens on planet Earth after all of that is over. Not only do these prophecies reveal what follows, they also give amazing amounts of detail in the process.

It’s one thing to have a single prophecy that shows you the amazing condition the earth will be in after all of the unrest and trouble. It’s another thing altogether to have several prophecies from different prophets all repeat similar aspects of these same post-end times descriptions. Check out our February 3, 2025 podcast, “Will There Ever Be Peace on Earth?” for details. We pick up the prophetic process as the trouble and destruction of the end times finishes. What lies before us are many vivid and descriptive prophecies that actually detail what will happen to the physical world. Still other prophecies detail what will happen to the billions of people who did not go to heaven. What do they say about these people? Let’s just say that Jesus taught us to pray for God’s kingdom to come on earth for a reason. Join us for this thrilling look into God’s word and the future!

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“Let go and let God.” This simple statement is focused on faith and trust, two fundamental challenges for Christians. We may think it’s easy to have faith, but when we are in times of difficulty, the depth of our true faith is revealed and sometimes revealed as seriously lacking. We may think that we have trust, but when pressed, when we feel like we need answers or changes or insight, our trust becomes scarce while anxiety abounds. All of this can be depressing! We can feel like we are letting God down. The good news is that we are not alone in this struggle to let go and let God. Many of God’s faithful had these same struggles. Because their experiences are recorded in Scripture, we can not only read about their struggle but see how God’s blessing worked in spite of their weakness!

Way back in Genesis, Abraham and Sarah were given an amazing promise. God told Abraham to leave his father’s house and go to a new land that God would show him. Abraham listened. He took Sarah and his household and journeyed to this undisclosed location. As dramatic as this was, it wasn’t the biggest part of God’s promise. God also told him that his descendants would inherit this land. The only problem was Abraham and Sarah didn’t have any children. Worse than that, Abraham was already 75 years old and Sarah was 65! While God’s promise was powerful and exciting, it also seemed like it pushed the limits of their reality.

Abraham and Sarah were classic examples of having been given a direction to follow but not understanding how to get there. Time went on and Sarah did not become pregnant. Years went by and both Abraham and Sarah became perplexed. However, their perplexity was not in relation to doubting God’s promise; rather, it was about how that promise would be fulfilled. After about 10 years with no child, they took matters into their own hands. Sarah gave her servant Hagar to Abraham, and she conceived a son.

This account is full of lessons and guidance for us. First and foremost, it is all about trying to do God’s will. Just like Abraham and Sarah, we sometimes run ahead of what God would have us to do. In their case the result was not fatal, but it did add lots of difficulty and stress. Why would we expect anything less?

Check out our October 31,2022 podcast, “How Do I Let Go and Let God?” for more. We walk through the 25-year account of Abraham and Sarah, beginning with the promise of having a son all the way to the birth of Isaac. What we find are striking and relevant lessons for us to apply in the here and now of our own lives. Join us as Abraham and Sarah’s experiences teach us the depth of faith and trust required to truly let go and let God!

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Nobody likes to suffer. Nobody wants pain, turmoil, uncertainty, tragedy or sickness to take up continual residence in their lives. When a Christian suffers by facing hard things in their daily experience, it is easy to look at it as punishment. We see these harsh experiences as a signal that something is wrong and expect them to sap the joy right out of our lives. Suffering is easily seen as have little to no redeeming value. We think that it signals that God has ceased protecting us, and that means trouble. Turns out, the Bible has a lot to say about suffering, trial and punishment. It explains in great detail the role suffering plays in our lives, and the how and why of punishments that come from God.

When Christians ask about the suffering that comes to us in our lives, we often ask the simple question why. Why is this happening? Why can’t it be different? Why me? While these are important questions, they really can’t be answered until we understand the basis of suffering in our lives. This understanding is made clear when we stop looking at our own trials, difficulties and mishaps and instead look at Jesus.

Jesus suffered – and he suffered a lot. Why? He was perfect and therefore certainly didn’t need any kind of punishment! So, why suffer? On the contrary, Jesus preached the gospel – the good news – that would be for all people. With such a universally positive message, why did he have to go through the insults, the contradictions, the accusations and threats from those who opposed him? At the end of his ministry, why did he have to go through the humiliation, the false testimonies, the beatings, the whippings, and finally crucifixion?

Jesus suffered because that was part of the price that needed to be paid to bring full salvation to humanity. By willingly suffering, Jesus assured us he knows by his own experiences what the consequences of sin look like and feel like. This gives us confidence in Jesus on a very human level. He went through the kinds of things we go through and ALWAYS overcame them. If Jesus could so willingly embrace such hard suffering for the sake of God’s plan, then we are called to embrace it as well. “If we suffer with him, we will also be glorified with him” Romans 8:17.

We can now see that much of our Christian suffering is for the purpose of growing in Christ as we walk in his footsteps. But what about when we sin? What about God punishing us? Check out our April 25, 2022 podcast, “Am I Being Punished or Favored?” for more. God’s discipline in our lives is an integral part of our Christian growth experience. We dig into the why and how of this discipline, as well as several perspectives regarding the handling of our Christian suffering. Suffering is a privilege! Join us as we learn how to rejoice in all aspects of our discipleship.

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It is easy to live with bitterness. I am not suggesting it’s initially comfortable, but I am suggesting that being bitter towards one or many people or circumstances is considered acceptable. We know it’s acceptable because if we pay attention, we will see that the harsh and angry results of a bitter temperament are widely encouraged. Bitterness can enter at every turn and enters easily and stealthily. Once in, it quietly takes root, masked as what we might consider justifiable anger or a justifiable reaction to wrong, or simply a justifiable defense of one’s own self. Then it grows – quietly and under the surface at first so that we get comfortable with it, until one day we wake up and it rules our life.

Bitterness is more destructive than we like to think for several reasons:

If I have been terribly wronged by someone’s purposeful action and suffer lasting consequences, bitterness can be natural and understandable. Allowing my bitter feelings to be at home in my heart is easy, as they provide a way for me explain away my now stagnating life. This produces comfort. Once we get comfortable with something, we no longer question it. Without my conscious permission, my life perspective has now changed. I see the world differently. Over time, I will inevitably be presented with several opportunities along the way to ease that bitterness, but I will most likely reject them as disruptive or useless.

Being bitter often brings us to being sad, disillusioned, angry and disappointed. Each of these are challenging symptoms all on their own. Routing out any one of them can be a mammoth challenge. Even when we do manage to get one or more of these under control, we still have the root cause of bitterness alive and intact within our hearts.

In the New Testament, the Bible basically defines bitterness as poison. How much poison are we willing to live with? You can dilute poison with lots of water, but are you still willing to drink it? Are we willing to rationalize and say that our bitter feelings are not as bad as someone else’s, so we’re okay? The Bible frames being bitter as a significant target for Christians to overcome and not tolerate.

Check out our January 10, 2022 podcast, “Am I Too Bitter to Be Better?” for more. We look at several biblical examples of bitterness to see what drives them and what can derail them. What we find is both alarming and hopeful. First, we find that bitterness can upend our lives in ways that we might never have thought of. But we also find that there are many things we can do to dig down and root out our bitterness. Join us for a journey of growth and change as we seek to root out the poison of a bitter heart.

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Every Christian wants to be faithful in living their life with thankfulness. One immediate question that arises is, what causes us to be thankful? What life experiences bring us to gratitude? Most of us would answer that we feel appreciativeness when things fall into place or when a hard experience yields a righteous result. These are great times to give honor to God, but what about when the opposite happens? What kind of acknowledgment do we give to God when our opportunities are cut off for no good reason? Would we be grateful if we were singled out to have our personal freedoms to spread the gospel stripped, and we were instead literally locked in our house? The Apostle Paul was. The last several years of his life were mostly spent as a prisoner of Rome. What was his secret to rejoicing?

Imagine you lived at the time of Jesus’ crucifixion, and you were converted to follow his gospel message. Imagine being so moved by that message you, for the next 20 years or so, travel throughout the Roman Empire preaching this gospel. The joy of the gospel provokes you to speak on street corners, in synagogues and before authorities. Through God’s love and grace, you heal the sick and debate religious philosophy. You are often falsely accused as a troublemaker and yet you never stop moving. But you never stop teaching, preaching, healing, converting. You never stop standing in public places for the name and cause of Christ. You rejoice! For 20 years, the joy of the Lord has driven you, inspired and provoked you to change thousands of lives.

You are taken prisoner and brought to Rome and confined to a rented house for two years. You are under constant guard. Now your only freedom is within the walls of that small house. Your life of adventure, fellowship and witnessing to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is over. Or is it?

Do you take these shackles as a sign that you had a good run? Do you see this as an ending of an era, and you have now been removed from active service? This could be an easy path to follow, but it is not the only path. You could decide that by God’s grace you are here. You could choose to bring as much gospel activity to your little house as can possibly fit. This is exactly what the Apostle Paul did.

Check out our November 22,2021 podcast, “How Can I Rejoice in Trials?” for more. We break down the mindset the Apostle Paul had while in prison by examining four of the letters he wrote while bound by chains. In these letters Paul’s rejoicing in God’s providence is palpable. His clarity on teaching the most important things is inspiring. Join us as we observe the Apostle Paul rejoice in his trials, and we then follow Paul as he followed Christ

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Life can be difficult and unpredictable. It can be full of insecurity, unexpected disappointments, and events that press and overwhelm our coping skills. All of this can bring us to places that make us want to run from our reality. We instead engage in a pseudo-reality that makes us feel better – at least for the moment. Enter the pathway to potential addictive behavior. It often begins as a subtle escape, or a convenient distraction, or a thrilling experience. Destructive addictions always end in several layers of disaster. At the top of the addiction casualty list is our character, integrity, family, friends, work associates, and often our financial standing as well. What should we look for and do to avoid or remedy the destructiveness of addiction?

Nobody sets out in life with the goal of becoming some kind of addict. At least, that’s what our guest Merrily said about her own life. Merrily is a dedicated Christian woman who painfully worked through her own addictions to drugs and alcohol many years ago. In telling her story, she shared how the road towards addiction looked more like a road to excitement and acceptance. Even though this road seemed to be continually headed towards “Party City,” it was littered with warnings and caution signs. The problem is, when you are traveling so fast you don’t have time to think about those signs along the way.

Just because we are Christians we cannot relax when it comes to awareness about and protection against these kinds of things. Addictions always begin with a perceived need or desire. They are fed by compulsive behavior, which in and of itself is not always a bad thing. A compulsion can be an irresistible urge and if those urges are to righteously act in the direct service of God, then let’s go! However, we all know that such an urge is much more the exception than the rule. The bottom line is that we need to be painfully aware of the direction our compulsions are pointing us towards.

As Christians, there is much we can do to identify and destroy addictive behavior. One simple and powerful key in this fight is perspective. We need to go through each action of each day remembering who we are and what we are called to. Being a disciple of Jesus is a whole mind, whole heart and whole body commitment. Anything and everything we focus our attention on must fit within that description.

Check out our October 18, 2021 podcast, “Could an Addiction Block My Christian Growth?” for more. We follow Merrily’s inspirational story of being trapped by addiction, falling, bottoming out and recovery. Several scriptural principles are laid out to help us whether we are heading into trouble, in trouble or broken. We learn about the power of accountability and the transformational properties of contentment. Addiction is a serious and sometimes deadly issue. Join us for a stark look at its nature and the relief that is found in recovery!

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This of the most basic manners we teach our kids. We generally start by instructing them how to appropriately make a request for something and how to graciously receive it.  How do you ask?  “Please!” What do you say? “Thank you!” These two simple communication tools (which incidentally seem to have been misplaced in our social media world) are not merely expressions of good manners, they are declarations of good character! As we approach the American holiday of Thanksgiving, we want to focus on being thankful in a way that goes beyond typical platitudes. How can we be truly and deeply thankful – even when our life experiences are difficult and harsh? How can we make true thankfulness a way of life and not just words of praise?

We often think of gratitude as an act of reciprocity – someone does something that has positive benefit and we show appreciation by being thankful. While this is a good place to start, true gratitude can be expressed for many wider and deeper reasons. Take loyalty for example, the ongoing experience of having someone exhibit life-long loyalty towards us. True gratitude is not expressed in a simple gesture of thanks to them. It is expressed in our transformed life actions their loyalty affords us. This kind of thanksgiving makes us better, as it continually draws us up to a higher standard and quality of life.

As we begin to understand the broad application gratitude can have, we need to pause and consider its role in our hard life experiences. Pain and thanksgiving are not obvious partners. As a matter of fact, some of our greatest gratitude experiences are driven by pain and suffering leaving us. This is the gratitude of relief, and it is important and appropriate. As Christians, it is our charge to rise to higher levels of thanksgiving. A verse in 1 Thessalonians instructs us, “In everything give thanks.” The obvious implication here is to grow into an attitude of life that is able to express thanksgiving not only when a bad experience ends, but as we are going through it as well.

Being thankful in the midst of pain and suffering is not natural, it is not easy and it is, frankly, not even expected by our peers. Yet, this is our goal. Check out our November 25, 2019 podcast, “How Can We Be Thankful When Life is So Hard?” We not only walk through biblical principles of gratitude and its application, we also share a dramatic personal testimony from a Christian woman. This woman lives with chronic and severe pain daily and has for years. It has completely changed her life and essentially taken away many of her previous opportunities. In her testimony, she recounts how she has learned to accept this hard way of life. She also shares the new-found power and privilege she has been given because of this trial.  Don’t miss this inspiring view of gratitude!

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For more, please see ChristianQuestions.com/grief

So, how do we go about finding the healing part? How do we know what to hang on to and what to let go of? When should any of this happen? What can those of us who are not presently experiencing a personal loss do to help others in such pain and anguish?

To begin with, it is important to establish the silver lining that comes with grief. Whatever the experience, whatever the tragedy whatever the loss, faith in who Jesus is and the reason that he came to earth will eventually open doors of peace and acceptance. Having put that thought out as an encouragement, getting to the point of opening those doors is the problem. The big problem. Because grief is so different for each of us and our experiences with loss are so varied, it becomes impossible to proclaim one solution. Instead we suggest understanding how the general process of grief management works.

Research shows the first stage is denial. This is probably the easiest thing to grasp.  When we suffer traumatic loss we all go down denial road. “This can’t be happening.” “This is not real.” “There must be some mistake.” “Maybe when I wake up tomorrow it will all have been a dream…” Denial is real, and it turns out that in some ways it is actually helpful. Think about it. Traumatic loss jars our lives out of relative comfort and into an often sudden and nightmarish reality that changes everything familiar. Who can handle that? Who just acquiesces and moves on? Denial gives us time to adjust so our shattered heart can catch up to the looming reality of our loss. It is our friend, so long as we don’t try to hide behind its fragile and temporary covering for too long.

After denial there are four other stages for handling grief. They do not come according to a schedule and don’t necessarily leave when the following stage begins.  But they are there to help us grab hold of our trauma, process and learn from it.  We can finally accept our new reality. Please check out our March 5th, 2018 podcast, “How Do You Find Your Way Through Grief?” Listen as we unfold the process of healing. We also follow powerful stories of two women who each managed their own unique trauma and grief. The inspiration they share is unforgettable.

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Life has really changed.  With all of the amazing connectedness we have through social media, we are more alone than ever.  We see people via Facetime but we cannot touch them.  We “chat” without talking.  We “like” without truly feeling emotion, we “follow” without knowing where we are going and we “join” without ever going anywhere.  As a result of all of this non-active activity, when someone crosses us in any of these virtual environments we can snap back at them in so many ways with without having to actually face them.  We tweet, post, Instagram, email, text – all with anonymity.  Funny, Jesus specifically taught us to “turn the other cheek” – not to virtually smack them upside their head!  What does turning the other cheek even mean and how do we apply it in both our real and virtual worlds?  Is this teaching of Jesus still as relevant and powerful as it was centuries ago?

Before we even get to the relevance of “turning the other cheek” we need to clearly understand its meaning, as there are many who say it is metaphorical and others who say it is strictly literal.  One key factor in understanding what Jesus was saying when he taught us to turn the other cheek is that this statement was not a stand-alone teaching.  It was but one teaching is a long series designed to give his most devoted followers real, practical, life-driven examples of how to follow him in any and all of their experiences.  “Turning the other cheek” followed the Beatitudes – the “Blessed are you if”… Scriptures.  It followed the being the “salt of the earth” and a “light to the world” Scriptures.  It followed many of the “…But I say to you” Scriptures – lessons in living up to a higher standard of the spirit of the Law rather than the letter.

What if it’s not even your fault?  Key point:  To turn the other cheek is just another rung in a ladder of spiritually-minded behavior.  It is a step up – an advanced step up – that helps us to solidify who we are, what is important to us and how we will act as a result.  So, if turning the other cheek is part of an overall process, then it would be logical to conclude that it is not merely a literal statement, but it is in fact a statement of a frame of mind – a statement of a way of life.

All well and good, so now the next question:  Why did Jesus specify that if someone smites you on your right cheek you are to turn the other?  What is there about the right cheek – is it different than the left? Is Jesus saying that if someone smites you on the left cheek you can haul off and hit him back? Check out our February 5, 2018 podcast, “Do We Have to Turn the Other Cheek?” and see what role the right cheek plays and how all of this adds up to a profound lesson in stellar Christian thinking and behavior.

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Human nature is a funny thing.  We live in an age of instant gratification, an age of virtually no waiting for anything.  We send a text, a tweet, a message or we post, and our expectation is for an almost instant answer or follow or response or reaction.  What we want we not only assume we can get, we assume we can get it immediately in just the right color, brand and style.  Getting and having have become so easy and expected that we have begun to overlook the value of patience, waiting and doing without. Human nature IS a funny thing.  In this age of abundance, we are experiencing a very high rate of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.  Why?  One reason is that we have all but forgotten the preserving and healing power of gratitude.  It’s really simple – for happiness and contentment to flourish, they require gratitude to be their constant companion.  Let’s take a look and see how it all works…

The first thing to realize about gratitude is that it is a basic building block and ingredient for anything that is good to make it long lasting.  Consider these simple examples:  You have lots of money and lots of stuff.  This can be good – really good – but without gratitude for all of it, you might find yourself being dissatisfied, paranoid or just plain miserable.  Check the statistics on this – it is frighteningly true.  How about this – you are in a wonderful and loving relationship.  This can be really good – even great – but without gratitude for the other party, your relationship will slowly begin to go stale, or even spoil, and all you will end up with are memories that are bitter or bewildered.  You see, gratitude is the glue that holds a contented and productive life together!

The second thing to realize about gratitude is that it is a basic building block and ingredient for finding ways to cope with tragedy and difficult circumstances.  Consider these telling examples:  You are broke and have very little. This is difficult, to say the least, and we often find ourselves focusing on our misery which closes our hearts and minds to anything else.  Gratitude in such times focuses your being on appreciating the precious good that you DO have and that opens you up to being able to see past the misery and notice opportunity.  How about this – your spouse is dying of cancer, and they are too young and it’s not fair.  Without gratitude, the stress of the situation eats both of you up and you lose your affection and appreciation for one another.  With gratitude, the cancer becomes an event, difficult as it is, it does not hurt your relationship; rather, it becomes a tool to enhance it.  I actually watched this happen recently, so I know it works.

The bottom line is, you and I need to understand how to have gratitude alive and well in our daily lives.  The process for this can actually be an easy and enjoyable experience.  Check out our November 20, 2017 podcast, “How Do I Make Gratitude My Constant Companion?” and see how it all works.  Take this seriously…it could have a life changing impact on your every day.  Thanks!

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