I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott. So let’s break this down. On a beautiful calm day, sitting on the water in a sailboat how do you make the boat do anything? It would be a frustrating waste of time. Then the bigger the boat you want to move, the bigger the breeze you need. We need to learn to use different tools for the same wind. Sometimes we may need to tack to move in the direction we want to go. Storms are needed to sharpen skills and practice your abilities to manage systems. When storms are around it is a great time to learn how to handle the conditions. So we need not fear challenges. Challenges are what helps us to learn and grow. So many people have a fear of the challenges. Fear can stop us before we start. We may not even get on the sailboat due to our fears. But we can never learn to sail nor ever get better at sailing if we don’t face the storms.

Challenges are part of most cultures. They can come in the form of dares or as rites of passage. It wasn’t until the last couple of generations that we started trying to shield our kids from challenges. This is not working well. Imagine how bland life would be without challenges. If we were given everything without challenge there could be no climbing, no fixing things, no sports, or competition. We would not even be able to establish relationships. It would be like eating macaroni and cheese for every meal. 3 times a day 7 days a week! I would be done with that soooo fast. I don’t care if it is a wonderful mac and cheese. I would hate that.

Why might you not want a challenge? Challenges can result in failure; this can bring on feelings of disappointment, shame, embarrassment, or humiliation. On the flip side it can result in success; bringing on awareness of honor, praise, pride, and dignity. Worry is merely sustained fear caused by indecision. So if you are concerned use Brian Tracy’s “The Worry Buster.” Step one, define the situation clearly in writing. Many times the problems can be solved by defining them clearly. Step two, now determine the worst possible outcome. Here again write it down, Writing it is important. Otherwise it will morph and change and you will not get the worst out. Step three is to accept the worst should it occur. Once you accept what is to be your mind will become clear and calm. Step four Is to take action. Do whatever is possible to improve upon the worst. To overcome worry it takes purposeful action. If you make yourself busy doing something about the situation you will lose the worry. Action will give you confidence, courage and a sense of control.

The thing about life is “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” Like we talked about in episode #165 with Sara Blakely you can rethink your story about failure. Just like her father helped her to reframe the idea of  failure into not trying something. Whether or not you want challenges depends on your story of what are the consequences to the challenges. The definition of failure and your story about it can be changed. You cannot achieve success if you never attempt things. You have the ability to determine the power that failure and success have in your life. You can increase the power of success and decrease the power of failure. If you did not fear rejection if it had no power how would today be different what would you do differently?

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