God designed us to need connection, and our

relationships with our parents is the first place this happens—or doesn’t

happen. Attachment theory outlines specifically what can go wrong and

looks at how our ability to love is shaped by our first experiences with

our parents and caregivers during our early years. These early

experiences leave a lasting imprint on our souls that is still observable in

our adult relationships. Your relationship problems did not begin in your relationship! You

and your spouse are doing the dance steps you learned in childhood. For

each of you, a pattern of relating was set in motion long before you met,

causing you to relate to each other in certain ways. Most of us learn how

to love from our parents, but occasionally a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or

Sibling has a lot of influence. Unaware of the powerful influence of

our early years in predetermining our dance, we aren’t able to

understand our reactions or make changes.

The fact is, we can never truly know our mates until we understand

their childhood experiences. Listen to this podcast to understand how your emotional expressions are shaped by childhood experiences.