We board a nonstop flight to Shameland. Our bags are packed... even the "overhead" bags, which is a term we've apparently misinterpreted.

We get it, we're both old... but one of us is using their emoji keyboard like the Dewey Decimal System and it needs to stop.

We walk a thin line between requesting the check, throwing a gang sign, and doing a full mime performance. Also: hair there, don't care.

We give our pearly whites a good sweeping before bedtime, how about you? And who hates their mouths enough to buy hard brushes?