So the Dalai Lama XIV said, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Do you know someone that loves to hear the sound of their own voice? Someone that likes to talk and will tell you everything that they can think of? They want to share with you their viewpoints on every subject. Then there are then others who love to listen. When we listen to understand and not just to reply we can hear others. Maybe you have heard the quote you have two ears and one month. Follow that ratio. Listen more, talk less. Successful people learn by listening.

Richard Branson has said, "Great listeners are often terrific at uncovering and putting in place strategies and plans that have a big impact." why is it that listeners can put into place strategies and plans? Because when they listen they get information that they didn’t have before. That information can help them to learn what it is that they need to make a decision and act on it. The only reason to listen is if you need to learn. If you know everything that needs to be known there is no need to listen.

Listening is an active process where patience, compassion, and determination play critical roles. In order to absorb words and process the meanings, we need to concentrate. Listening promotes better relationships. It assists in building trust, resolving issues, and strengthening ties.  The other day I was interacting with a family member on Facebook and I probably shouldn’t have. But I commented on their post and it was not something that we agree on. They hear my comment but didn’t listen to it. They attacked my statement with something that didn’t have anything to do with my message. So they hear that I talked but didn’t listen to what I said. They were talking so they were repeating things they already know. I have listened enough to know that my ideas disagreed with theirs, so sharing my thoughts in that medium is where I made a mistake.

But true listening develops communication skills. Communication is kind of a lost art, especially with social media. It is so easy to hear without listening and then react and attack those that state something different. This reminds me of another experience. Another family member was at work and someone came into the office and they had loaded for bear. They were upset and knew that this family member would not agree with them. So they came in arguing. They for quite a while did not even recognize that the person they were arguing with actually agreed with them from the get-go. Here again, they hear but didn’t listen. I’m sure you have stories about how this has happened to you also.

Listening is an important skill. Like we talked about in an earlier episode, skills can be learned. To become an excellent communicator you must first start listening with your eyes, ears, and mind open. Communicating is not just about getting your point across but about learning the points others have.

In what ways can you be more active in listening?

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