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How Grief Becomes Power: Reclaiming Purpose After Loss with Mark Matthews
Grief doesn’t just break you open—it breaks you open to truth. And in this transformative episode, Dr. Mark Matthews and I journey into the sacred territory where loss becomes a portal to identity, purpose, and sovereign leadership.
From losing both parents at nine years old to navigating a lifetime of introspection, Dr. Mark shares how grief became his greatest teacher—shaping his worldview, his leadership philosophy, and the deep sense of compassion that infuses every aspect of his coaching. Together, we explore how the “armor of avoidance” keeps us disconnected from our deepest desires and how embracing our emotional landscape leads to explosive growth in business, relationships, and self-worth.
We dive into:
This episode isn’t just a conversation—it's a remembrance of your innate power. A reclamation of your throne. A reminder that your most challenging seasons are often the very ones expanding your capacity to hold more love, more purpose, more prosperity, and more aliveness.
If you're walking through change, expansion, or rebirth—this one will meet you exactly where you are.
Enjoy, sovereigns!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or your favorite podcast listening platform. You can also watch the episode on Youtube.
Quotes:
“Grief doesn’t shatter your world — it opens your world.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
“Drop your expectations. Raise your standards.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
“Most people confuse overwhelm with a lack of capacity… when it’s actually a lack of clarity.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
Moments of Note:
00:00 — Welcome to Crown Yourself: The Inner Game of Self-Worth & Leadership
Kimberly opens the episode with a powerful framing around mindset, self-worth, and the double-edged sword of high-performance thinking.
01:51 — Dr. Mark Matthews Sets the Intention: “This Will Change Someone’s Life.”
Mark enters with a commitment to truth, presence, and breakthrough conversations. He sets the tone for a deeply transformative episode.
02:26 — Childhood Grief at Age Nine: How Loss Opened His World
Mark shares the story of losing both parents at nine years old — and how grief became a portal to truth, curiosity, and purpose.
04:30 — “Grief Doesn’t Shatter You — It Opens You.” Emotional Truth & Identity
Mark reframes grief as an opener, not a destroyer. This sets the foundation for the episode’s core message on identity and resilience.
06:05 — Avoidance Is the Real Enemy: The Cost of Not Feeling Your Feelings
Why grief isn’t dangerous — avoidance is. The armor we wear to protect ourselves causes the real disconnect and self-abandonment.
07:00 — Kimberly’s Own Story: Losing Five Loved Ones in One Year
Kimberly shares her own grief portal and how loss unlocked a new dimension of identity, creativity, and voice.
07:45 — The Deep End of Joy: Why Feeling Deeply Expands Your Capacity
Grief expands your range — and therefore expands your joy, creativity, and leadership.
08:53 — Human Motivation Decoded: What We Want, What We Avoid, Who We Must Become
Mark breaks down human incentive systems and why clarity around desire + aversion is essential for growth.
10:05 — Mark’s Favorite Coaching Question: The Reframe That Unlocks Solutions
How asking clients to solve someone else’s problem bypasses defensiveness and opens clarity instantly.
12:50 — Parenting Through Presence: Using Curiosity Instead of Control
A beautiful moment with Kimberly’s son leads to a lesson on parenting, capacity, and emotional regulation.
18:00 — Capacity & Magic: Why Stress Disconnects Us From Joy
Mark describes the moment he realized stress disconnects us from the magic around us — including children, love, and presence.
21:04 — The Capacity Question Every Leader Must Ask
Are you actually out of capacity — or just out of clarity?
Mark introduces the capacity-expansion model for high performers.
25:41 — Fulfillment vs. Achievement: The Truth Most High Achievers Miss
Kimberly and Mark explore why success without fulfillment erodes self-worth — and how to choose both.
29:29 — Maslow’s Hierarchy & Business Growth: You Can’t Skip Safety
Mark breaks down how unmet basic needs sabotage creativity, exploration, and innovation in business.
32:17 — Master One Thing: The Secret to Becoming a World-Class Coach
Why Mark built a thriving one-on-one coaching practice before anything else — and how mastery builds confidence.
(SEO: coaching business success, mastery mindset)
Project 45
34:22 — The Danger of Tying Self-Worth to Metrics (Weight, Money, Revenue, Goals)
Kimberly shares her bulimia recovery and entrepreneurship lessons: external validation will never satisfy internal needs.
38:37 — Loving Humanity: The Radical Self-Worth Practice
Mark shares his life goal: to love and like every human being on Earth — and why this unlocks inner peace.
41:40 — World Peace Starts Within: Healing Internal Division First
Kimberly and Mark explore Taoism, unconscious mind integration, and why internal alignment creates societal healing.
47:58 — The Power of Presence: How a Smile Can Change the World
A story about the Holocaust survivor client and the impact of simple human connection.
51:07 — Reminders Are Compliments: A Game-Changing Relationship Framework
Mark’s relationship strategy that transforms marriages, teams, and parenting dynamics.
54:40 — Standards vs. Expectations: The Formula for Happier Relationships
Low expectations, high standards — how this reframe builds trust, emotional safety, and flow.
58:18 — Rapid Fire Round: Identity, Money Habits, Sovereignty, and Legacy
Mark opens up about his favorite thinkers, finances, and his definition of true sovereignty.
1:03:24 — A Special Gift for Listeners: Free Self-Worth + Leadership Tools
Mark shares a free course + scorecard to deepen self-worth, confidence, and leadership capability.
1:05:34 — Closing: Crown Yourself & Lead With Courage, Clarity, and Compassion
Kimberly wraps with an invitation to expand your capacity, own your throne, and live sovereignly.
Mentions + Additional Resources:
Connect with Mark Matthews.
Website: https://markmatthews.mykajabi.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FaceMyFear/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/facemyfear/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-mark-matthews/
Transcript:
For a full episode transcript, you can find it here.
Sharables:
For sharable images, quotes, and other social media posts to add some royal sparkle to your socials (with proper tagging and credit, of course), they can be found here.
____________
📺 YOUTUBE TIPS PLAYLISTS:
The Crown Yourself Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZwctt-09Yk&list=PL2ClsckBxxujcpec_c4m-haGSeWZkfNmP
Becoming the Queen-B(usiness) of Yo’ Biz:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEircICw4o0&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhTAZNjo3wKa84gAgJAgpBB
Podcasting Queen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWLm9j9TSPE&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhIznCt03xcCIR-caCZBads
Conscious Leadership Queen:: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R35hokbpIJI&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhJqGJuF9kqCg-UfBwZzI_o
🙌🏼 MORE RESOURCES TO HELP YOU BUILD YOUR EMPIRE + CROWN YOURSELF 🙌🏼
Get booked on podcasts + turn guest podcasting into getting clients when you join then Communication Queens Agency: https://www.communicationqueens.com
Want to get Kimberly Spencer on your podcast? Request an interview: https://crownyourself.com/media
Watch Kimberly’s TEDx Talk on “Becoming a Warrior for Possibility” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzwbvqzbmRk
NEW MERCH! 🥰 Grab your Crown Yourself shirts, mugs, pillows, and totes! http://tee.pub/lic/crownyourself
____________
🎆 COACHING: Ready to transform your self-limiting stories, stand out fearlessly in your industry and build your empire on a foundation of both purpose + profit? Let's get you making the impact + income you deserve. Register for a 1:1 consult call here: https://crownyourself.com/private-coaching
____________
🌎 OUR ABUNDANCE INITIATIVE 🌍
We at CrownYourself.com are committed to creating the conscious visionary leaders of our future. That’s why we are committed to donating 15% of all our company profits to charities that help support our future generations to live healthy, free, and sovereign.
🙏🏼 Support our abundance initiative here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/crownyourself
____________
💕 Say “hi” on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyspencer.crownyourself/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/realkimspencer
Instagram: https://instagram.com/kimberly.spencer
Linked In: https://linkedin.com/in/kimberlyspencer-crownyourself
Crown Yourself Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/crownyourselfnow
Crown Yourself Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/crownyourself
Crown Yourself TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@crownyourself.now
Crown Yourself Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/crownyourself/
Crown Yourself Instagram: https://instagram.com/crownyourself.now
Crown Yourself Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/crownyourself
🎙 Subscribe + Listen to the Crown Yourself Podcast here:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crown-yourself/id1452686389
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/71G0xbDBToBa9ERYNRbdip
MTQ3NDkzMzI4L2ZlZWQ
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/4dbb5e9b-be94-4778-b6b2-65ab518d27e8/crown-yourself
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Crownyourself/podcasts
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thanks for your support!
🥰 Loved learning about how grief expands your capacity for joy, power & purpose? Listen to this podcast again: https://youtu.be/OG3IFnZIhos
View all episodes
By Kimberly Spencer
4.9
6767 ratings
Grief doesn’t just break you open—it breaks you open to truth. And in this transformative episode, Dr. Mark Matthews and I journey into the sacred territory where loss becomes a portal to identity, purpose, and sovereign leadership.
From losing both parents at nine years old to navigating a lifetime of introspection, Dr. Mark shares how grief became his greatest teacher—shaping his worldview, his leadership philosophy, and the deep sense of compassion that infuses every aspect of his coaching. Together, we explore how the “armor of avoidance” keeps us disconnected from our deepest desires and how embracing our emotional landscape leads to explosive growth in business, relationships, and self-worth.
We dive into:
This episode isn’t just a conversation—it's a remembrance of your innate power. A reclamation of your throne. A reminder that your most challenging seasons are often the very ones expanding your capacity to hold more love, more purpose, more prosperity, and more aliveness.
If you're walking through change, expansion, or rebirth—this one will meet you exactly where you are.
Enjoy, sovereigns!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or your favorite podcast listening platform. You can also watch the episode on Youtube.
Quotes:
“Grief doesn’t shatter your world — it opens your world.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
“Drop your expectations. Raise your standards.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
“Most people confuse overwhelm with a lack of capacity… when it’s actually a lack of clarity.” — Dr. Mark Matthews
Moments of Note:
00:00 — Welcome to Crown Yourself: The Inner Game of Self-Worth & Leadership
Kimberly opens the episode with a powerful framing around mindset, self-worth, and the double-edged sword of high-performance thinking.
01:51 — Dr. Mark Matthews Sets the Intention: “This Will Change Someone’s Life.”
Mark enters with a commitment to truth, presence, and breakthrough conversations. He sets the tone for a deeply transformative episode.
02:26 — Childhood Grief at Age Nine: How Loss Opened His World
Mark shares the story of losing both parents at nine years old — and how grief became a portal to truth, curiosity, and purpose.
04:30 — “Grief Doesn’t Shatter You — It Opens You.” Emotional Truth & Identity
Mark reframes grief as an opener, not a destroyer. This sets the foundation for the episode’s core message on identity and resilience.
06:05 — Avoidance Is the Real Enemy: The Cost of Not Feeling Your Feelings
Why grief isn’t dangerous — avoidance is. The armor we wear to protect ourselves causes the real disconnect and self-abandonment.
07:00 — Kimberly’s Own Story: Losing Five Loved Ones in One Year
Kimberly shares her own grief portal and how loss unlocked a new dimension of identity, creativity, and voice.
07:45 — The Deep End of Joy: Why Feeling Deeply Expands Your Capacity
Grief expands your range — and therefore expands your joy, creativity, and leadership.
08:53 — Human Motivation Decoded: What We Want, What We Avoid, Who We Must Become
Mark breaks down human incentive systems and why clarity around desire + aversion is essential for growth.
10:05 — Mark’s Favorite Coaching Question: The Reframe That Unlocks Solutions
How asking clients to solve someone else’s problem bypasses defensiveness and opens clarity instantly.
12:50 — Parenting Through Presence: Using Curiosity Instead of Control
A beautiful moment with Kimberly’s son leads to a lesson on parenting, capacity, and emotional regulation.
18:00 — Capacity & Magic: Why Stress Disconnects Us From Joy
Mark describes the moment he realized stress disconnects us from the magic around us — including children, love, and presence.
21:04 — The Capacity Question Every Leader Must Ask
Are you actually out of capacity — or just out of clarity?
Mark introduces the capacity-expansion model for high performers.
25:41 — Fulfillment vs. Achievement: The Truth Most High Achievers Miss
Kimberly and Mark explore why success without fulfillment erodes self-worth — and how to choose both.
29:29 — Maslow’s Hierarchy & Business Growth: You Can’t Skip Safety
Mark breaks down how unmet basic needs sabotage creativity, exploration, and innovation in business.
32:17 — Master One Thing: The Secret to Becoming a World-Class Coach
Why Mark built a thriving one-on-one coaching practice before anything else — and how mastery builds confidence.
(SEO: coaching business success, mastery mindset)
Project 45
34:22 — The Danger of Tying Self-Worth to Metrics (Weight, Money, Revenue, Goals)
Kimberly shares her bulimia recovery and entrepreneurship lessons: external validation will never satisfy internal needs.
38:37 — Loving Humanity: The Radical Self-Worth Practice
Mark shares his life goal: to love and like every human being on Earth — and why this unlocks inner peace.
41:40 — World Peace Starts Within: Healing Internal Division First
Kimberly and Mark explore Taoism, unconscious mind integration, and why internal alignment creates societal healing.
47:58 — The Power of Presence: How a Smile Can Change the World
A story about the Holocaust survivor client and the impact of simple human connection.
51:07 — Reminders Are Compliments: A Game-Changing Relationship Framework
Mark’s relationship strategy that transforms marriages, teams, and parenting dynamics.
54:40 — Standards vs. Expectations: The Formula for Happier Relationships
Low expectations, high standards — how this reframe builds trust, emotional safety, and flow.
58:18 — Rapid Fire Round: Identity, Money Habits, Sovereignty, and Legacy
Mark opens up about his favorite thinkers, finances, and his definition of true sovereignty.
1:03:24 — A Special Gift for Listeners: Free Self-Worth + Leadership Tools
Mark shares a free course + scorecard to deepen self-worth, confidence, and leadership capability.
1:05:34 — Closing: Crown Yourself & Lead With Courage, Clarity, and Compassion
Kimberly wraps with an invitation to expand your capacity, own your throne, and live sovereignly.
Mentions + Additional Resources:
Connect with Mark Matthews.
Website: https://markmatthews.mykajabi.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FaceMyFear/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/facemyfear/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-mark-matthews/
Transcript:
For a full episode transcript, you can find it here.
Sharables:
For sharable images, quotes, and other social media posts to add some royal sparkle to your socials (with proper tagging and credit, of course), they can be found here.
____________
📺 YOUTUBE TIPS PLAYLISTS:
The Crown Yourself Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZwctt-09Yk&list=PL2ClsckBxxujcpec_c4m-haGSeWZkfNmP
Becoming the Queen-B(usiness) of Yo’ Biz:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEircICw4o0&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhTAZNjo3wKa84gAgJAgpBB
Podcasting Queen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWLm9j9TSPE&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhIznCt03xcCIR-caCZBads
Conscious Leadership Queen:: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R35hokbpIJI&list=PL2ClsckBxxuhJqGJuF9kqCg-UfBwZzI_o
🙌🏼 MORE RESOURCES TO HELP YOU BUILD YOUR EMPIRE + CROWN YOURSELF 🙌🏼
Get booked on podcasts + turn guest podcasting into getting clients when you join then Communication Queens Agency: https://www.communicationqueens.com
Want to get Kimberly Spencer on your podcast? Request an interview: https://crownyourself.com/media
Watch Kimberly’s TEDx Talk on “Becoming a Warrior for Possibility” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzwbvqzbmRk
NEW MERCH! 🥰 Grab your Crown Yourself shirts, mugs, pillows, and totes! http://tee.pub/lic/crownyourself
____________
🎆 COACHING: Ready to transform your self-limiting stories, stand out fearlessly in your industry and build your empire on a foundation of both purpose + profit? Let's get you making the impact + income you deserve. Register for a 1:1 consult call here: https://crownyourself.com/private-coaching
____________
🌎 OUR ABUNDANCE INITIATIVE 🌍
We at CrownYourself.com are committed to creating the conscious visionary leaders of our future. That’s why we are committed to donating 15% of all our company profits to charities that help support our future generations to live healthy, free, and sovereign.
🙏🏼 Support our abundance initiative here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/crownyourself
____________
💕 Say “hi” on social:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimberlyspencer.crownyourself/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/realkimspencer
Instagram: https://instagram.com/kimberly.spencer
Linked In: https://linkedin.com/in/kimberlyspencer-crownyourself
Crown Yourself Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/crownyourselfnow
Crown Yourself Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/crownyourself
Crown Yourself TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@crownyourself.now
Crown Yourself Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/crownyourself/
Crown Yourself Instagram: https://instagram.com/crownyourself.now
Crown Yourself Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/crownyourself
🎙 Subscribe + Listen to the Crown Yourself Podcast here:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crown-yourself/id1452686389
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/71G0xbDBToBa9ERYNRbdip
MTQ3NDkzMzI4L2ZlZWQ
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/4dbb5e9b-be94-4778-b6b2-65ab518d27e8/crown-yourself
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Crownyourself/podcasts
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thanks for your support!
🥰 Loved learning about how grief expands your capacity for joy, power & purpose? Listen to this podcast again: https://youtu.be/OG3IFnZIhos