*Crafted through thoughtful collaboration between Rosey and ChatGPT.

This is the final companion piece to my three-part series, Twelve Books That Changed My Life. If Part Three was about putting insight into action, this article is about one of the most personal ways I’ve done that—by transmuting obsessive-compulsive energy into grounded, intentional creation. 🌀✨

Diagnosed—but Not Defined

When I was 19 years old, I was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I had wondered for a while if some of my anxiety-driven behaviors qualified me for this additional DSM badge, and one day I spontaneously brought them up to my psychiatrist. After describing the time I spent on these behaviors—at least an hour a day, most days—she confirmed what I suspected.

At the time, I believed it was only about an hour. But in hindsight, I can see how the compulsions, and more importantly, the obsessive thoughts, drained much more than an hour: attention, energy, presence, and peace.

Some behaviors were obvious—like only setting the TV volume to an even number or a multiple of 5, honking my car alarm three times to confirm it was locked, or asking people I loved to reassure me again and again (and again) that they loved me. Others were more subtle, like microadjusting furniture, meticulously organizing (and then reorganizing), or being paralyzed by intrusive thoughts. These weren’t just quirks. They were systems my brain created to help me feel safe in a world where I felt powerless. 🔒

The next year, I worked with a counselor who specialized in exposure therapy—one of the most effective tools for OCD and phobias. It helped take the edge off. I started recognizing the impact more consciously and reclaiming small bits of my time and attention. Over the next four years, I set boundaries with many of those behaviors, began to redirect my focus, and did deeper work to heal the chronic anxiety beneath it all. 🌿

From Control to Creation

As I grew into conscious personal development, something familiar resurfaced. I was fully immersed in growth—but sometimes, the energy behind it felt… off. High-pressure. Dire. Like if I didn’t evolve fast enough, I would fall back into my former life of illness, victimhood, and powerlessness. The stakes felt too high. I couldn’t relax into the joy of becoming. Instead, I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly I barely noticed how fast I was going.

It took time, but eventually I recognized the energy beneath my self-improvement drive. And I saw it clearly for what it was: the same energy that used to have me realigning furniture to match the grain of the floor. The same energy that demanded reassurance, that double-checked locks, that micromanaged everything it touched. 😳

This realization was both relieving and crunchy.

Relieving—because I finally had something good to associate with that energy. I wasn’t broken. I was creative. I was powerful. I had energy to give.

Crunchy—because I knew I still had work to do. I had matured, but that energy hadn’t vanished. It had just changed form.

Now, I see that energy as wild, alive, and deeply intelligent. It’s creative life force that got stifled and twisted by fear—but once reconnected with intention, it’s magnetic. And it needs a job. Because if I don’t give it a job, it will find one—and it won’t always be one I like. 😅

Instead of hyper-focusing on control, I now ask a different question: What am I wanting to create? Then I let myself follow that inspiration. That subtle shift changed everything. 🎨

Instead of managing my anxiety, I began channeling its root energy into creative manifestation: writing, building systems, developing offerings, designing experiences. And the more I leaned into purposeful creation, the less often that anxious, obsessive vibe showed up in misaligned places.

I don’t mean to say I never adjust a pen or overanalyze a conversation anymore. But it’s rare now. The energy that used to swirl in endless loops has found a flow. A current. A way forward.

And that’s what self-actualization really is: not becoming perfect, but using everything you’ve got—even the weird, messy, misunderstood stuff—to build a life that feels authentic, grounded, and meaningful.

Reflection Prompts for Transmuting Obsessive Energy

🌀 Where does your energy want to go, but keeps getting stuck? 🌀 What behaviors give you a sense of control, even if they don’t actually solve anything? 🌀 What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t do that thing? 🌀 Where might that same energy serve you if redirected intentionally? 🌀 What does your Creator Archetype look like—and what would they do with this energy?

Practices to Rechannel Compulsive Energy

✨ Create Before You Consume – Start your day by making something, even small. It trains your energy to flow outward, not spiral inward.

✨ Make Space for Inspiration – Leave blank time in your schedule to listen for what wants to be made or moved. Don’t fill every moment.

✨ Do Messy Things on Purpose – Stretch into discomfort by allowing imperfection. Leave the pen slightly crooked. Let the sentence stay unpolished.

✨ Move Your Body with Intention – Use yoga, dance, or even walks to re-engage your physical form. OCD lives in the mind—movement helps root it.

✨ Say Out Loud: “This energy wants to serve something greater.” – Then choose one small action and follow through.

✨ Track What Helps You Feel Secure – Not what helps you feel in control, but what genuinely helps you feel safe. Get honest about the difference.

Final Thoughts

It’s so possible to transmute these behaviors—especially through cultivating a greater sense of trust, self-direction, and inner authority. That means becoming a stronger leader in your life. It means embodying your Creator Archetype. 👑

The energy that once ran your compulsions might just be your deepest creative force—waiting for a better outlet. Give it one.

With awareness and intention,

🕯️ Rose

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