Trauma is a certain kind of suffering — the kind that overwhelms one’s ability to cope. A whole class of wounds that cripple. A wound that buries itself deep in our consciousness. A tragedy too heavy for us. It happens in the past, but asserts itself over and over in the present.

In 2016, I was in the delivery room, my wife was giving birth to our baby girl, and it was an intense struggle, my little princess was being so stubborn. Things didn’t look good, the doctors pulled me to one side and told me that the delivery wasn’t going to plan, they literally told me that my baby wasn’t going to make it, but they are doing all they could to deliver my baby. I don’t know what it was, but something told me that everything was going to be OK! I believed with all My heart, I had faith that she would pull through! Right there, and then I made a promise to my baby girl! It was right there in that delivery room that I decided to face my pain so that my baby girl wouldn’t have to face it! The same way my baby girl thought for her life in that womb, I decided to fight for my life and face my pain!

Someone has to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen! Despite who made the mess, if you don’t clean it, if you don’t address it, your children will have to face it! Sometimes you have to clean other peoples dishes, even though you didn’t make the dishes dirty, in order to eat, you need to wash them! Put pride aside, the blame game will get you nowhere! The trauma is on them, but the healing is on you! It’s key to know that you cannot wait for your perpetrators to face their pain! Don’t wait for them to wash the dishes! Don’t wait for them to see their wrongs, or even amend their ways, Roll up your sleeves and get busy!

Thoughts do more, words do much, actions do much more. When it comes down to children, seeing is really believing. Actions really do speak louder than words, many of us have heard about love, we know all about it, we’ve read many books and watched countless movies about love, but have rarely truly experienced it. Children take in what they see, more than what they hear. The real story is that none of us are perfect, we are all striving to get to where we need to be, I just really hope that we can all learn how to say Love with the way we live, rather than merely saying it with our lips.