Patti cross-trains for Opening Day by rocking her March Madness bracket. Pottymouth warms up with early morning baseball in Japan (thanks for everything, Ichiro). Fernando Tatis Jr is Johnny Hustle, but he doesn’t make the Opening Day roster. Matt Olsen was set to be Patti’s starting 1B, until he had hamate surgery. Yes, that’s a real thing. We’re all about fun facts and contract extensions this week, for superstar Mike Trout, for on-the-verge-of greatness Alex Bregman, and for Eloy “hasn’t even had a cup of coffee yet” Jimenez. Verlander and Sale also extend their stays, because what if they are Keuchel and not Corbin? Pottymouth gives a Spanish lesson around La Copa de Diversión, the “Fun Cup.” Also a thing.