I found this conversation eye-opening, as having children never seemed like a choice for me; it was expected, and I, too, expected and wanted it. In my 20s, I don’t think I was self-aware enough to realise what being a parent really meant, but my guest, Urmila, was.

In this episode, Urmila shares her conscious decision to remain child-free, a choice influenced by her upbringing and personal reflections on marriage and parenthood. "I think anyone can be a parent, but you have to really reflect whether you're eligible to be one," she asserts, emphasising the importance of emotional readiness and self-awareness.

We also hear about how her lifestyle is structured to enable her to pursue her passions and pivot to where she feels most fulfilled, and she gives her tips on how other women can find this.

It’s great to hear from women who follow untraditional paths, seeing that there are multiple avenues women can take. Perhaps this conversation shows that before making any life decisions, one needs to be familiar with their values, what brings them joy and security.

Alternatively, perhaps you need to have experience to work this out, have a listen and let me know your views.

About Urmila Menon

Urmila is a creative educator, writer, and speaker dedicated to helping high-achieving women and professionals, especially those shaped by cultural expectations, reclaim their voice through creative play and storytelling, not to make art, but to break free from perfectionism, process life deeply, and finally say what matters.Her upcoming creative non-fiction memoir, *COLOR CODED: Finding Ourselves and Our Stories* (out December 2025), is built on three foundational pillars: Identity, Creativity, and Representation. It’s a journey of unlearning, healing, and remembering who we were before the world told us to conform. This book is for anyone who’s ever felt like a misfit, been asked to dim their light, or struggled to speak up in a culture that values compliance over truth. For anyone who was told to shrink but chose to begin anyway.

Follow Urmila here: LinkedIn

Youtube

Substack

In this conversation, Anita Guru, a mindset coach and psycho educator, discusses the complexities of mental health and trauma, particularly in the context of South Asian women.

She shares her personal experiences with trauma, the impact of cultural stigma, and the importance of seeking support. She also raises the point that it’s not uncommon for South Asian households to have dealt with abuse or alcoholism, resulting in trauma that has not been dealt with. My takeaway from this is that trauma can show up later in life, particularly in relationships.

We also spoke about the common myths about trauma, the effects of intergenerational trauma, and practical advice for those struggling with mental health issues.

Anita emphasises the need for open conversations about mental health and the significance of finding supportive communities.

Join us for a candid conversation designed to break the silence and empower women to seek the help they deserve.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Mental Health and Trauma

04:33 Personal Experiences with Trauma

10:11 The Myths of Trauma

13:34 Advice for Those Experiencing Trauma

17:07 Intergenerational Trauma and Its Effects

20:09 Cultural Perspectives on Mental Health

22:56 Using Personal Experience to Help Others

About Anita Guru

Anita Guru, founder of The Mind Coach, is an experienced mindset coach, Psycho-educator and motivational speaker with nearly two decades of experience at organisations such as Deloitte, Centrica and Coca-Cola.

She has always had an interest in the human mind and behaviour and has a background in Occupational Psychology, currently training to be a psychotherapist. Anita addresses crucial mental health topics such as trauma, infertility and grief.

Website

Connect on LinkedIn

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode includes a personal account of abuse.

In this episode, we highlight the double standards that many South Asian women experience, but taken to the extreme. Unfortunately, this is not a new case, but we rarely get to hear the experiences of women who are willing to talk about the abuse they have suffered at the hands of their own family.

Dorothea, at age 15, was taken to Pakistan by her father and left there without her passport, to stay with a family who were to ensure she was ‘suitably desi’, all because she had a boyfriend and her parents believed she had become too Westernised.

Her account is harrowing, from being starved, cut off from friends and family and beaten. She describes her treatment and also compares it to what happened when the same was done to her father when he was younger. The difference reveals the stark realities of gender inequality and the double standards that persist.

Join us as we explore the emotional and societal implications of these practices and discuss the pressing need for change.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

00:46 Personal Experiences of Cultural Control

05:57 The Impact of Cultural Expectations on Identity

11:41 Navigating Life Between Two Cultures

17:52 The Role of Parents in Cultural Transmission

23:53 The Aftermath of Trauma and Adjustment

29:43 Seeking Support and Resources for Healing

To seek support, please refer to the details below.

Website:

https://www.harmfultraditionalpractices.co.uk/

Email address: [email protected]

About Dorothea:

Dorothea has worked within the Violence Against Women and Girls sector for 15 years, including with victims of sexual violence, domestic abuse, stalking and perpetrators of domestic abuse. Dorothea has specialised in harmful traditional practices throughout her career in VAWG. Dorothea has used her lived experience to advocate for improved responses for victims of harmful traditional practices.

In this episode, Anita Patel dicusses her late diagnosis of autism and ADHD, the challenges of masking, and the cultural perceptions of neurodivergence within the South Asian community.

I loved that Anita shares so much of her lived experience, including the reactions from family and friends about her diagnosis, as well as how understanding her diagnosis changed her life, allowing her to be more compassionate with herself.

She emphasises the importance of understanding and supporting neurodivergent individuals, both personally and within organisational settings. This can have a big impact on how individuals feel and perform. There are lots of tips here that can help u be more understanding when communicating with neurodivergent individuals.

The conversation highlights the importance of compassion, curiosity, and advocacy in creating inclusive environments for neurodivergent individuals, which is what Anita champions through her work as a speaker, trainer and coach.

To find out more, here are Anita’s details:

Website: www.anitapatelcoaching.com

Email: [email protected]

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Neurodiversity and Personal Journey

06:07 The Impact of Late Diagnosis and Masking

12:03 Cultural Perspectives on Neurodivergence

17:53 Supporting Neurodivergent Individuals

23:43 Organizational Changes for Neurodiversity

29:45 Advocating for Neurodivergent Needs in the Workplace

In this heartfelt episode, we explore the journey of grief and its profound impact on life's pivotal decisions.

Jas’ journey into this work began after experiencing personal losses, including the passing of her father, grandmother, the breakdown of her marriage and career, and most recently, the loss of her daughter's father.

In 2018, she discovered Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), a modality that profoundly shifted her life. The transformation she experienced was so powerful that she trained in RTT herself, becoming a fully certified, award-winning Marisa Peer RTT Practitioner. She is currently undertaking further training to obtain a Clinical RTT Practitioner qualification.

In this episode, we highlight:

* the attitudes towards grief in the South Asian community, where people are often expected to move on quickly.

* The place women have in rituals and how Jas stood up with her brothers to light the funeral pyre for her father.

* The role of Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) in addressing unexpressed grief.

* Encouragement for open conversations about death and planning for the future.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation about love, loss, and the courage to forge a new path.

Thanks for reading How Round Is Your Roti? Subscribe for more stories of resilience and personal growth.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Grief: A Personal Journey

06:39 The Impact of Grief on Mental Health

11:57 Societal Attitudes Towards Grief

16:22 Supporting Others Through Grief

22:19 Gender Differences in Grief Expression

25:26 Conversations About Death and Dying

30:37 Normalising Grief and Death Discussions

About Jaspreet Bamra

Jas is deeply passionate about breaking taboos around grief, particularly within the South Asian community, and loves collaborating with like-minded individuals. Whether through 1:1 sessions, group programmes, or speaking engagements, her mission is clear: to empower others to grieve fully and live fully.

For more information and to connect with Jas:

Website: www.jasbamra.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jas_bamra

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/jasbamrahypnotherapy/

YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/c/jasbamrahypnotherapy

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasbamrahypnotherapy/Join her Free WhatsApp community: Thrive: In Love Loss GriefTo speak with Jas: Book your free 30-min breakthrough call

In this episode, I wanted to explore what Manjeet, as a culturally sensitive therapist, is seeing in her industry and with her clients, ranging from teens to adults and how some issues can emerge for immigrants and children of immigrants.

I’ve added the time location to some of the areas below.

Firstly, we explored why having a therapist with a similar background is not a prerequisite, but it can help women feel more comfortable and reduce the need for explanation as to why certain situations occur. (3:54)

We also discussed how we balance between a Western individualistic culture and a South Asian collectivist culture, where the values often differ. Our roles as women can be conditioned from a young age to serve others, and we may need to unpack what our own needs are and how we can fulfil them. As Manjeet mentions from her own experience, she embraces the parts of her culture that she enjoys, like cooking for her family. (5:42)

Manjeet highlights how parents raise their children has a significant impact on them, and she has had to be very sensitive around the topic of parenting because it can impart blame. Still, in most cases, parents are doing the best they can, especially when you layer their experiences of immigration and survival (12:49).

And it reminds me of something Maya Angelou said in terms of do the best you can,

As a woman who has had more freedom than my mother had after marriage, I feel a sense of privilege in how I want to live and raise my children, however I was interested to know from Manjeet about Intergenerational trauma, which she went on to explain (16:01).

Manjeet also works extensively with teens, where we see an impact of social media on mental health, and we discussed the Netflix show Adolescence. (20:29)

About Manjeet:

Originally from Coventry, she has been in Scotland for 17 years now and has been working as a Psychotherapist for 4 years. Having worked in schools, Manjeet realised that she wanted to support young people differently.

She could see that young people were suffering due to their environments and conditioning, and more recently, the effects of social media and Covid. Her work with adults involves an empathic relational approach where they explore their struggles and childhood conditioning with a lot of focus on their cultural background.

Here’s how you can follow Manjeet on social media:

Thanks for reading How Round Is Your Roti?! This post is public, so feel free to share it.

Another sensitive but important subject to cover in this episode is Asiya's baby losses and what she went through at that time in her life.

There are definitely lessons to take away from this episode as we aim to change and break the shame and stigma around baby loss.

In this episode, we discussed:

* The reactions from friends and family in the South Asian community, who often want to move past grief quickly. She describes that this usually left her feeling isolated and her losses unrecognised. Asiya explains how a simple sentence to recognise her loss would have given her recognition for the losses and support.

* The constant pressure to have children after marriage, and how it feels when people kept asking if she was pregnant and giving her advice after her losses.

* The mental health impact on both her and her husband, and how they grieved separately.

* How we can change the conversation for the next generation, starting with discussing periods and moving away from a son preference.

You can follow Asiya on Instagram to see all the work she now does in this area, for which she was recently recognised by winning a SHE Inspires award.

If you’ve heard of the money mindset and are interested in learning more about how it’s developed and can impact your spending, then you’ll love this episode.

Jaskiran runs Finance Therapy, which bridges the gap between money and mental health.

In this conversation, we delved into so many areas of South Asian culture that can impact our money mindset, from how we develop our money mindset at around seven years old to the systems and traditions that shape how we think about spending and saving money.

With more women working and earning income, it’s vital that we discuss our money mindset to ensure that we are using it to grow wealth and live how we want to.

Jaskiran speaks about women being risk-aware, not risk-adverse, as we may have been told, and how changing this mindset could enable you to increase your wealth.

We even spoke about weddings, their expense, who made most of the decisions, and how that may impact our mindset around marriage. I even shared my biggest wedding regret (it’s not my husband, don’t worry!).

Jaskiran provides simple, straightforward advice on understanding your money mindset and a great list of resources, which shows that women who want to invest are finally being seen and supported.

You can follow more of Jaskiran’s content here:

LinkedIn

Finance Therapy

Let me know what you think of the conversation in the comments.

For Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week, I am sharing this episode I recorded with Krupa Suthar today.

Krupa is a Research Leader, Coach for Women of Colour, Podcast Panellist and Women’s Health Advocate. Real, meaningful work drives her passion and with her specialism being in Health, children / youth sectors and Women’s Health.

Through her extensive experience in Health Research and her own fertility journey challenges, Krupa volunteers her spare time as a Research advisor, she is an advisor to FemTech India and regularly speaks about South Asian fertility journey's and mental health issues.

In this episode, we discuss:

* Krupa’s 12-year fertility journey and the impact it had on her physical and mental health.

* How she used social media to find help and support.

* Advice she would give to women/couples currently going through IVF.

* What support Krupa believes companies should be providing to staff going through this.

* Her mental health support through pregnancy.

* How Krupa is balancing motherhood and her career.

Please like, share and comment on this episode to raise awareness of maternal mental health.

Darpan is a qualified Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach. Her approach focuses on sustainable lifestyle transformations through fitness, nutrition, and mindset coaching, without quick fixes or restrictive plans.

In this episode Darpan shares:

* Why she changed from a corporate career to starting her own business as a personal trainer.

* The impact this change had on her family.

* The mindset needed to make positive changes and how planning is integral to this.

* How to build good habits.

* Adapting through changes, such as perimenopause and menopause.

* The role of exercise and good sleep.

Darpan shares so much of her expertise and wisdom in this episode, I hope you get as much from it as I did!

Here are links to her website and socials:

www.deebeehealth.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/darpan-bhasin-9705232a1/

https://www.instagram.com/deebeetips.1/