How we feel about ourselves has a tremendous effect on every area of our lives. You can find more books on self-esteem on Amazon than you have time to read. 

To have positive self-esteem, you must see yourself as worthy. Conversely, unworthiness results in low self-esteem.

In Brene Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection, she says, "If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging."

If you believe the negative stories that were told to your growing up, take on throughout life in school or work, or even failed relationships, you will most likely have poor self-esteem. Usually, those stories become our truths. I'm never enough. I'll never be enough, i.e., unworthiness. And those feelings will follow you into your marriage.

When that special someone comes along, you feel giddy that someone has come along to make everything right. You feel loveable. You feel great about yourself. All that time and attention proves it, right.  Just think back to that time and those memories and how great you felt. 

Our society sets us up to expect our spouse to be our redeemer from all the past hurts and all those feelings of unworthiness: boy, what pressure. 

There is a book I highly suggest you read, but the title is what is essential here. It is called, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For by Richard C. Schwartz. That title is the greatest truth. Putting our spouse in the place of the redeemer in our lives is not only unrealistic, but it will also set the relationship up for many disappointments. 

No one can make you feel worthy and loveable like you can. It is called self-esteem, not others esteem. 

In this episode, I'll be covering how low self-esteem or unworthiness manifests itself in a marriage and how to turn it around.

For complete show notes to this episode, go to http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/60