Knowing how to manage your time is an important skill no matter what you do, but I’ve found traditional “time-blocking” time management techniques to be totally the wrong fit for me.

I prefer to think about, and check in with, my capacity and my energy.

Energy is exactly what it sounds like – all your energy to do the things you have to do in life, like work, spend time with friends and family, take care of yourself, etcetera. And capacity is the cup that holds it all.

I find it especially helpful to think of my capacity as a cup because when I feel like I’m running low on energy, I can take time to fill my cup back up by checking up on my sleeping habits, healthy eating, and leisure time. And I can have different sized cups – different capacities – for different areas.

By building your capacity, you can better utilize your energy. This will make you more efficient with your time without having to “block out” time for every activity.

Today I’m breaking down my model of capacity + energy as a form of time management. Instead of feeling like a failure whenever I don’t accomplish whatever my time block says, I keep track of my capacity + energy for coaching, self-care, swimming, and everything else. I talk about how to figure out what your capacity is, why you should accept where you are right now, and how to sustainably build your capacity over time. And I also share some of my experiences with feeling like I’m going to break my capacity, and what to do when that happens.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in iTunes. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

The post Capacity + energy [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

Hello + welcome to Wisdom Wednesdays!

This summer, I'm rebroadcasting some of my favorite How She Really Does It episodes from earlier years of my show in a 12-week series called Wisdom Wednesdays. I'm bringing these twelve shows back to the surface for you so that they can bring a little bit of wisdom into your life each week (without you having to dig through 600+ episodes).

In this episode, I interview the late Dr. David Hawkins. Dr. Hawkins was a nationally renowned psychiatrist, physician, researcher, and lecturer. He was also an internationally known spiritual teacher, author, and speaker on the subject of advanced spiritual states, consciousness research, and the Realization of the Presence of God as Self. In this episode, he and I discuss one of his best selling books Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior.

In his research, Dr. Hawkins developed the Map of Consciousness: a quantifier of attitude, emotion, energy, and growth. Throughout the interview, we use this tool as a framework for our discussion. Where do you think you might fall on the map's scale of 1-1000?

We also discuss the concept of power vs. force and the ability of power to initiate a wide range of transformations from individual healing to social systems. Listen in to learn how individuals can enhance their power through integrity, understanding, and compassion.

ENJOY THE SHOW?

LISTEN HERE

The post Dr. David Hawkins: Power vs. Force [Wisdom Wed] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

I don’t do interviews much anymore, but sometimes I come across someone with a story that I think my audience just has to hear. That’s exactly what happened with today’s guest, Tembi Locke, when I read her memoir From Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Home. 

Tembi is an actress, mother, and now author. She lives in LA but has spent time in Sicily with her husband and his family. Tembi was studying abroad in Italy when she met the man who would become her husband.

Their love broadened their perspectives while also challenging familial ties, cultural traditions, and expectations about how life is supposed to go. After the loss of her husband to cancer, she and her entire family had to learn how to keep moving even as grief was an overwhelming force in their lives.

Tembi’s story is one of courage, connection, loss, and grief. But more than anything, it’s a story about the power of love to help us build bridges to other people and through difficult times.

I was so struck by Tembi’s warmth and willingness to share her journey with the world – and with us right here. She shares so much with us in this interview and I have no doubt that she’ll be back.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in iTunes. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

The post Tembi Locke: From Scratch appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

Do you ever wish someone would swoop in and save you from your life? Maybe work has been especially hard lately, or you’re going through a difficult time in a relationship. It’s tempting to want someone to come take care of you. We all do this.

I call this White Knight syndrome – wanting someone to come save you so that you don’t have to deal with life’s messes. 

We usually want the White Knight to come save us when we’re feeling vulnerable or having a hard time believing in ourselves. But being saved isn’t really the answer. We need to remember that saving ourselves always feels so much better.

Notice when you want the White Knight to show up most. Then remind yourself that it’s not supposed to be easy, and that you can do hard things. 

In this episode, I’m talking about White Knight syndrome and times I’ve identified it in myself. You’ll discover the connection between vulnerability and wanting to be saved, how to remind yourself that you are the leader of your own life, and why you should stop looking for the easy path forward and embrace saving yourself.

I also talk about the effect the White Knight syndrome often has on men, who are frequently discouraged from being vulnerable or messy, and how to hold space for people in your life to work through feelings of vulnerability.

If you’re interested in what you heard today but need help with believing in your vision, why don’t you check out my one-time, 3-hour Mindset Workshop?

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in iTunes. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

The post White Knight syndrome [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

When I use the word “vision,” a lot of people automatically switch off. They think “vision” sounds like such a grand, intimidating idea that they’re not sure how it fits into their life. But when I’m talking about creating a vision, I’m talking about a simple practice that will help you get clear on what you really want.

There are different visions you can commit to in all the areas of your life. And if you take the time to clarify your vision, you can allow things to unfold with a softer focus.

Take your friendships for example. As life changes and you head into new phases, it’s helpful to have a vision for who you want to have around you and how you want to spend time with them. Maybe you no longer see your friends in the quad, or in line picking up little ones from school. Envisioning a new, weekly coffee date with your longtime bestie could be a great way to keep her in your life.

When crafting a vision, there are several key things to keep in mind: Stop playing small. Give yourself permission to want what you want. And accept that obstacles are part of the process.

This episode is full of guidance for creating a vision in each important area of your life. I give several examples of areas where you can develop a vision, why you have to give yourself permission to take charge of your life, and how to work with your obstacles instead of let them deter you. I’ve found visions to be a really powerful tool for crafting the life I have now – a life I really love.

If you’re interested in what you heard today but need help with believing in your vision, why don’t you check out my one-time, 3-hour Mindset Workshop?

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in iTunes. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

The post How to create the vision for what you want [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

Money is a huge shame trigger. You may think that you don’t make enough money because you’re not worth it. Or you may think you make too much money, and you don’t deserve what you have. Whatever end of the wealth spectrum you’re coming from, money can be a major source of shame and self-loathing.

You have to tell yourself new stories about yourself and your relationship with money – and actually believe them.

I used to have really negative money beliefs. I thought that money didn’t come to people like me. I tried to hide that my parents and I didn’t have enough money to pay for my college education. But I also believed that to have money, you had to cheat and be evil – and I didn’t want to do that.

But I changed my story about money by learning how to manage my mindset. 

In this episode, I’m sharing my story about money, shame, and how I realized that money was just a neutral – not good, or bad, or straight-up evil. I’m talking about why your relationship with yourself is the core of your relationship to money, how we pick up ideas from society that we don’t really believe, and how to rehabilitate your relationship with money.

Your voice matters! Make sure you subscribe to the show and leave a review in iTunes. Tell me what you love and why you’re here and maybe you’ll hear a shoutout to YOU in a future episode!

LISTEN HERE

The post The shame of money [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

How many times have you started something new, determined to become an expert in as little time possible? You pray that you won't have to deal with the messy part, the lessons, and the experience. Where does that habit prevent you from actually learning in your life?

When we do new things, we are going to make mistakes.

I've got a story for you today about something that seems really insignificant, but my desire for perfection in this scenario is the perfect metaphor for what everyone goes through when we try something new, especially with the intention of mastering it.

To get to a place of mastery, you have to go through the perception of wasting time through falling down. That's how we get there. You have to embrace the process.

Join me on the podcast this week to discover how you can slow down, calm down, and tackle new things from a mindful and considered place, without panic and a fear of making mistakes. Talent is created, not born. With that in mind, what can we do to create mastery when doing something new and uncomfortable? Well, tune in and find out.

Like what you hear? I have some great news for you: the new ENOUGH group registration is open. Sign up for a consult to find out how ENOUGH can change your life.

Do you want to take what you’ve learned from this episode to the next level? Check out my ENOUGH coaching program. Together, we combine the concepts and lessons from this show with coaching to go way beyond intellectual learning. You’ll learn to silence critical internal voices that tell you you’re not enough, integrate self-love into your everyday life, and build resilience against shame and other difficult experiences. The next group begins in May 2019 – join me and create your most badass self!

LISTEN HERE

The post Being a newbie [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

Last chance to sign up for your ENOUGH consult.

Together, we combine the concepts and lessons from this show with coaching to go way beyond intellectual learning. You’ll learn to silence critical internal voices that tell you you’re not enough, integrate self-love into your everyday life, and build resilience against shame and other difficult experiences. The next group begins in May 2019 – join me and create your most badass self!

LISTEN HERE

Schedule your ENOUGH Consult HERE

The post Special BONUS…Last Chance for 2019 appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

We’ve been culturally programmed to believe that being perfect will make us safe. Valued. Successful. Loved.

Perfection isn’t the source of any of those feelings. It’s an enemy of them.

Chasing perfection is exhausting. It’s the birthplace of shame, and instead of making you feel valued, loved, or successful, it will put you under constant pressure to be someone you’re not.

None of us are perfect. But we use perfection as armor that we think will protect us from failure, rejection, and disappointment.

That armor is heavy, and it prevents us from being our true selves. Accepting yourself and your story is key to not only loving yourself, but to allowing other people to love you, too.

In this episode, I’m talking about the ways perfectionism can sneak up on you. I share some of my own encounters with perfectionism and how I bring attention, compassion, and acceptance to those moments so I can stop getting hung up on being perfect. And I give you some tips for gently steering yourself away from perfectionism and toward who you really are, so you can calm down and put down your armor.

Like what you hear? I have some great news for you: the new ENOUGH group registration is open. Sign up for a consult to find out how ENOUGH can change your life.

Do you want to take what you’ve learned from this episode to the next level? Check out my ENOUGH coaching program. Together, we combine the concepts and lessons from this show with coaching to go way beyond intellectual learning. You’ll learn to silence critical internal voices that tell you you’re not enough, integrate self-love into your everyday life, and build resilience against shame and other difficult experiences. The next group begins in May 2019 – join me and create your most badass self!

LISTEN HERE

The post Perfection is sneaky [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. This quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer is one of my favorite sayings in the world. It shifted things for me in some really amazing ways, and I think it may be helpful for you, too.

This episode uses that quote as a springboard to talk about the lenses we use to view our lives and the events that happen around us. We all use different lenses in different situations, and these lenses have a powerful effect on our feelings – and stories – about our lives.

What are the lenses you use to look at the world? Lenses of fear, judgment, and skepticism? Or lenses of compassion and empathy?

Carefully consider which lenses you allow to color your perspective, and when. Are you constantly judging your actions by whether or not they’ll make you seem stupid? Or are you viewing the world with a soft focus full of compassion for yourself and others?

Listen in as I talk in depth about the different lenses we use in our lives and the importance of knowing which one you’re using at a given time. I share how I’ve identified these lenses in my own life and work and how I’ve changed them when they aren’t serving me. I also give you some easy steps for choosing a lens that feels better + requires less mental energy to maintain than a lens of fear or shame.

Like what you hear? I have some great news for you: the new ENOUGH group registration is open. Sign up for a consult to find out how ENOUGH can change your life.

Do you want to take what you’ve learned from this episode to the next level? Check out my ENOUGH coaching program. Together, we combine the concepts and lessons from this show with coaching to go way beyond intellectual learning. You’ll learn to silence critical internal voices that tell you you’re not enough, integrate self-love into your everyday life, and build resilience against shame and other difficult experiences. The next group begins in April 2019 – join me and create your most badass self!

LISTEN HERE

The post The lens we look through [DEEP DIVE] appeared first on howshereallydoesit.com.