“It took me a long time to actually realize that there was a problem with my drinking, but that my problems were actually deeper than my drinking.”

In this episode, Nick shares about his struggles with alcoholism and how he told himself for years, “I don’t have a problem,” only to realize that there's BEEN a problem. A problem much deeper and darker than just alcoholism.

What to listen for:

Alcohol and other substances, as well as hobbies and most things, can become an addiction and/or a crutch if we’re not careful

How understanding our triggers can help us see what is hurting, as well as the ways we look to numb ourselves

How Nick thought alcoholism was “normal” based on my upbringing, can you relate?

How Nick became aware of my addiction, faced it, and got through the first year of sobriety

“I have some friends, some family members that have fought through and dealt with their alcoholism, amongst other addictions, and they’ve successfully gotten through it. But it’s not something that they just stopped working on.”

Alcoholism runs in our family, and based on our family history and system, it can be difficult to see as well as do something about

What Nick realized after a year of not drinking and how that relates to my past, present, and future

When Nick recalled all the memories lost and all the ways he used alcohol to either numb, kill, or hide his emotions and feelings

“I’m not gonna try to talk you into becoming sober and not drinking. I’m not gonna shame you for the drinking that you continue to do or any addictions that you have or anything at all. Just like anything in life, you can do whatever you want.”

How shame leads to addiction

We have the right to decide whatever we want, but we don’t always have the sage wisdom we crave and/or need until much later in life

How self-awareness led to an understanding of alcohol not being my problem but the repressed memories and traumas led to my alcoholism

Being aware of a problem doesn’t actually solve the problem, and being aware of our triggers doesn’t actually help us heal from the root problems

“Any sort of addiction, I get that it’s a disease, but there are reasons why we try to get away from something or reasons why we try to drown something or kill it or not feel something.”

Addictions can look cute and innocent at times, it takes discernment and self-awareness to be honest with ourselves

Nick shares how growing up around negativity and pain led most of the adults to drink and be abusive; this doesn’t make it acceptable or “normal,” but on the surface, it can feel that way when it’s all we know

It takes a lot of inner strength to call ourselves out, and sometimes we can’t do it alone, BUT we do need to be open and willing to change if the circumstances call for it

“Being able to understand that it took me going through a divorce and going through job loss and business failure and almost suicide and a number of other things to be able to get to the point where I went, oh shit, the alcohol didn’t actually help me. It’s not something that benefited me or helped me get through or manage it differently. It actually made it worse.”

Sometimes major life changes affect us in a positive way; other times they affect us negatively, and it’s not all about “mind setting” your way through it; it takes realization and work to heal the trauma

Becoming honest with ourselves is an ongoing process, but no matter where you are, you can start over right now, in this moment

We can only be accountable to ourselves for our own lives, however we choose to live

You’re not alone in your addiction; however, you may be alone in your head unless you open up about it all

About Nick McGowan

Nick is all about mental health and self-mastery. He works daily to manage his mindset and emotions and helps others do the same. His journey is one of resilience—he’s owned multiple companies, overcome addiction, and bounced back stronger after life’s toughest chal...