In Episode 59, our first off-season talk between Seasons 4 & 5, Phil and Paul talk about how we as coaches (and parents) can cultivate environments where our players can flourish, in an effort to counter the toxic cultures in youth soccer that wreck our children. We are hoping to be part of a movement that encourages a lifelong love for the game, leadership development, and human flourishing, rather than stress, burnout, and mental unhealth.

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Coaching the Bigger Game Program
• Warrior Way Program
• Info on DISC Training
• Phil’s email address – [email protected]

In Episode 58, Phil sat down with Paul Jobson for an exclusive interview about his recent decision to step down from his Head Coach position at Baylor University Women’s Soccer after 14 years at the helm. Paul and Phil also discuss some highlights and takeaways from the incredible interviews we have had during the second half of Season 4. Specifically, Paul and Phil discuss:

• The “why” behind Paul’s decision to step down from his position at Baylor after 14 successful years (4:04)
• His message to his former players and others who have been a part of the Baylor Soccer program during his tenure (25:21)
• Highlights from the second half of Season 4 (31:37), including:
  • How Jesse Bradley and Kassie Gray talked about identity formation and how we have to be more than what we do. (34:00)
  • Why Aaron Blue’s youth coach not “wrecking” him is so powerful and a great lesson for all coaches everywhere (41:39)
• The Coaching the Bigger Game Program Phil is launching soon, and the importance of self-care and self-leadership (45:30)
• Paul’s sharing his gratitude for people supporting him over the years and since he has made his decision (49:53)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Coaching the Bigger Game Program
• Warrior Way Program
• Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide?, by Andy Stanley
• Visioneering: Your Guide to Discovering and Maintaining Personal Vision, by Andy Stanley
• Think Orphan Podcast episode with Peter Greer
• 40/40 Vision: Clarifying Your Mission in Midlife, by Peter Greer and Greg Lafferty
• Mission Drift: The Unspoken Crisis Facing Leaders, Charities, and Churches, by Peter Greer and Chris Horst

In Episode 57 of How Soccer Explains Leadership, in honor of our co-host's recent announcement that he is stepping down from his head coaching role at Baylor and just because I (Phil) am so grateful for him, we are re-casting the first-ever HSEL interview with Paul, (now) Former Head Coach of Baylor Women’s Soccer and current co-host of HSEL, who talked with Phil about his coaching philosophy, identity formation, prioritization, team culture, dealing with viruses, recruiting and onboarding new players, understanding self and others, and what Sir Alex Ferguson taught Paul about leadership. Specifically, Paul discusses:

• His story of how soccer and leadership have influenced his life, how he ended up coaching at Baylor, and he’s the second best player in his marriage. (1:26)
• Paul’s coaching philosophy that has led Baylor to be one of the premier soccer programs in the US (8:28)
• The importance of identity formation, and what it has to do with leadership in soccer and life (9:59)
• One of Paul’s favorite things about being a college coach (12:58)
• The importance of prioritization (14:41)
• The concept of “leading from the middle” and how Paul incorporates it into his team (16:25)
• How to reduce the risk of negativity impacting your team, whether on soccer pitches or workplaces (17:26)
• Paul’s view on the best way to describe leadership (19:59)
• The impact culture has on teams, why it is so critical to have a healthy culture, what Paul has learned from his wife, Marci, about leading culture, and what all of it has to do with Baylor’s recent Big 12 Championship (21:07)
• The difficulty of recruiting and onboarding players in college soccer, and how Paul views his players as both customers and employees (25:26)
• How Paul handles viruses on his team (30:14)
• The importance of knowing and understanding the personalities of your players and coaching staff in the context of leadership (34:59)
• The important leadership lesson Sir Alex Ferguson taught Paul (37:09)
• What Paul has learned through playing and coaching soccer that he uses in his marriage and parenting (39:41)
• Resources that Paul recommends for leadership and life (42:22)

Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode

Video (uncut) of this episode

Baylor Women’s Soccer website & social – https://baylorbears.com/sports/womens-soccer; @baylorfutbol

Jobson Soccer website & Social: www.jobsonsoccer.com; @jobsonsoccer on Twitter, IG, and FB

Paul Jobson Social: @coachjobson on Twitter and IG

Tim Elmore “Habitudes” Program -- https://growingleaders.com/habitudes/

“Chasing What Matters” Podcast -- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chasing-what-matters/id1527359046

Leading: Learning from Life and My Years at Manchester United, by Alex Ferguson

Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers

The 21 Most Powerful Minutes in Leadership, by John Maxwell

In Episode 56, Kassie Gray, Founder/Director of Female Footballers and former Cal soccer player, talks with Phil about her mission and vision to help young girls focus on the mental aspects of sports, the value of playing multiple sports, the importance of mentors, preventing burnout, and what excites and disappoints her about soccer in America. Specifically, Kassie discusses:

• Her story, how she developed her passion for soccer and leadership, and how she got to be where she is today (2:44)
• The new club her husband started and how it is seeking to be different from the rest (6:37)
• The mission and vision of Female Footballers, and how Kassie is working to empower females in the world of soccer (9:40)
• The importance and value of playing multiple sports (16:14)
• The power of soccer as a tool to teach life lessons to our kids, and how we are getting it right and wrong in youth sports (21:10)
• Her personal why and how she is living it out in her life (24:23)
• Why everyone should have a mentor and why they are so important (28:25)
• What’s causing our young players to burn out and what we can do to avoid it (33:22)
• Why we need to be proactive and not reactive (36:38)
• What excites Kassie about soccer in America (42:10)
• What she hopes young women going through Female Footballers will learn and internalize, and live out through the program (49:46)
• How she is using what she learned through soccer in her marriage and parenting (55:20)
• Her recommendations (1:00:45)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Female Footballers website
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck
• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, by Angela Duckworth
• Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, by Adam Grant
• The Sports Psych Show, by Dan Abrahams
• Laughter Permitted, by Julie Foudy
• Just Women’s Sports Podcast
• “A League of Their Own” (film)
• “Ted Lasso” (Apple TV+)

In Episode 55, Aaron Blue, CEO of The Charis Project in Thailand, talks with Phil about how he ended up working with people on the Thailand/Burma border, how soccer is an integral part of his ministry, why soccer is such a powerful cross-cultural tool, and how his soccer coaches in his early years impacted him for reasons you wouldn’t expect. Specifically, Aaron discusses:

• His story, how he developed his passion for leadership and ministry (1:53)
• How The Charis Project is using soccer to transform lives of the youth and others on the Thailand/Burma border (9:42)
• Why soccer is such a powerful tool for cross-cultural leadership development and ministry (27:06)
• The raw and vulnerable lesson he learned from his coaches in his early playing days, which have inspired him four decades later (32:45)
• His #1 Leadership book recommendation of all time (46:41)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• The Charis Project website
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, by Edwin Friedman

In Episode 54, Zac Hoffman, Author of Finding the Good Life as a SWALeader and former professional American football player in Europe, talking with Phil about intercultural competence, leading effectively in a foreign country, humility, playing American football in Europe, mental toughness and resilience, and helping players to overcome adversity. Specifically, Zac discusses:

• His story, how he developed his passion for football and leadership, his new book, and how he ended up playing football in Europe (2:12)
• The importance of intercultural competence in our leadership (9:23)
• Earning respect and leading effectively in a foreign country when speaking a different language (16:29)
• The importance of a humble, learning posture (20:07)
• Playing American football in countries that love the other (real) football (23:40)
• Lessons he learned when he transitioned to “the real world” after he retired from his football playing career (26:50)
• His personal why (32:11)
• Mental toughness and resilience (38:21)
• Importance of coaches helping their players overcome adversity (43:49)
• What he has learned directly from the game of American football that he has used in other areas of his life (47:13)
• His recommendation (50:31)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Finding the Good Life as a SWALeader: Effective Leadership in Our New World, by Zach Hoffman
• #Maxout Your Life: Strategies for Becoming an Elite Performer, by Ed Mylett

In Episode 53, Jesse Bradley, Pastor of Seattle Grace Community Church, Dartmouth College Men’s Soccer Alum, and Former Professional in Scotland and Zimbabwe, talks with Phil about developing healthy mindset and habits, finding our purpose, developing muscle memory in our decision-making, collaboration in leadership, healthy and toxic teams, leading with confidence and clarity, identity formation, servant leadership, leaders as followers, and parenting and marriage advice. Specifically, Jesse discusses:

• His story, how he developed his passion for soccer, leadership, and ministry, and how a reaction to prescribed medication drastically changed his life (2:47)
• Mindset and how we can develop positive habits and purpose (8:21)
• Developing muscle memory in our decision making and living out our values, on and off the field (15:55)
• The importance of collaboration in leadership, and how we can do it well (18:13)
• Developing healthy cultures and dealing with toxic team members (25:24)
• Leading with confidence and faith, not in fear (35:10)
• Transformational Leadership and the importance of clarity in healthy organizations (39:14)
• Shaping identity of our ourselves and our teams, well beyond performance (44:10)
• Servant leadership and the concept that great leaders need to be great followers (48:52)
• His personal why and how he lives it out every day (55:24)
• His programs to help people in their parenting, marriages, and shaping identity (57:00)
• What he has learned from the game that he has used in his marriage and parenting (58:58)
• What resources he has learned from over the years (1:02:52)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Jesse’s Website with free marriage, parenting, identity formation, and other programs
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• The Advantage, by Patrick Lencioni

In Episode 52, Paul and Phil recall some of the highlights of the first half of Season 4 and continue their conversation about the leadership genius of Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, and Nate the Great, covering Episodes 7 & 8 of the show. Specifically, they discuss:

• Highlights from the interviews we had with Diego Bocanegra, Lance Key, Will Russell, and Tracy Hamm in the first half of Season 4 (2:47)
• Making youth soccer more accessible to all kids, not just the wealthy, across the US (5:36)
• Specialization in youth sports (9:10)
• Using soccer to prepare our kids for adulthood (17:10)
• The power of connections between coach and player, as with Ted’s connection with Jamie Tartt (23:40)
• Ted apologizing to Nate the Great, and the power of saying, “I’m sorry.” (32:36)
• Lessons learned from Ted empowering Nate to give the pre-game speech at Everton (35:32)
• How the impact a coach can have on his or her players can last a lifetime in unexpected ways (40:20)
• The lessons learned from Ted’s darts match with Rupert in Episode 9 (44:10)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected]
• The Warrior Way
• Ted Lasso (Apple TV)

In Episode 51, Tracy Hamm, Head Coach of UC Davis Women’s Soccer, talks with Phil about her incredible journey to obtaining her UEFA A license and the documentary made about it (“Coach”), crashing big wheels and “pool sharking” as a kid, mentoring, creating and maintaining healthy culture, preventing toxic teams, understanding “the other” and other perspectives, integrity, and how pressure is a privilege. Specifically, Tracy discusses:

• Her story and how she grew her passion for soccer, coaching, and leadership (2:07)
• Lessons learned from her childhood crashing big wheels into walls and being a “pool shark” on the playground (7:04)
• Insight on an interesting recruiting story from her high school years (10:17)
• Her why and life purpose, and how it has played out in her playing and coaching over the years (12:11)
• The importance of mentors and mentoring as a coach (14:44)
• How she seeks to create and maintain healthy culture and encourage integrity on her teams (18:31)
• Toxic vs. healthy teams (22:11)
• “Coach,” the documentary about her quest for the UEFA A Coaching License, and what it feels like to be one of the few women to earn the license, and why it is important to get more women coaches in the game (25:07)
• The importance of taking time to understand “the other” in our lives (27:55)
• The importance of having different perspectives in coaching staffs and teams (31:16)
• What she is most excited about and most disappointed about in US Soccer (36:51)
• What she hopes her players have internalized before they leave her program (39:10)
• What she learned from the game that she has used in her life outside the game (41:16)
• Her book and podcast recommendations (42:36)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• “Coach” (Documentary)
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, by Angela Duckworth
• “All or Nothing: Manchester City” (Amazon Prime)
• “Take Us Home: Leeds United” (Amazon Prime)

In Episode 50, we are continuing our Fan Favorites series by recasting our interview with Lee Baker, Owner of uScore Soccer and Director of Legacy Soccer Club, who talked with Phil about overcoming hardships, knowing and sticking to your “why,” setting and pursuing goals, using soccer as a classroom for life and leadership, modeling ethics and integrity, perspective, mentoring, and sacrificial living. Specifically, Lee discusses:

• His story and how he developed his passion for soccer, leadership, and his journey to uScore and Legacy Soccer Club (1:48)
• What Lee has learned about leadership through hardships, and how he has grown through difficult experiences (5:56)
• The importance of mission, vision, and values to create clarity in your organization, goal setting, and really knowing your “why” (12:35)
• How uScore Soccer and Legacy Soccer Club are doing things differently and teaching his players life and leadership lessons through the game in their practices and “classroom” time (17:02)
• How we can teach and model character, ethics, and integrity, and compete at the highest level in our soccer clubs and organizations (23:22)
• How you can address parents and/or players who don’t agree with your organization’s mission, vision, and/or values (28:07)
• The importance of perspective and learning from the best in class, other cultures, and other disciplines (33:22)
• The benefits of mentoring in our organizations (38:46)
• How Lee uses lessons he has learned from the beautiful game in his marriage, parenting, and other areas of life (40:44)
• A fun conversation about a show that has impacted Lee’s thinking on how soccer explains life and leadership (43:39)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode –https://youtu.be/G2hp8-vAA6A
• HSEL Facebook Group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/howsoccerexplainsleadership
• uScore Soccer website -- https://www.uscore-soccer.com
• Legacy Soccer Club website -- https://www.legacysoccer.org
• Ted Lasso (Amazon Prime) -- https://apple.co/3sDe9py