In Episode 36, we continue our Offseason Talks series with our host, Phil Darke, talking about the life and leadership lessons he learned from the movie, “Searching for Bobby Fischer.” We all have a lot to learn from this movie about chess, as it speaks directly to our coaching, parenting, marriages, and other relationships, and also gives us a practical application for the first three offseason talks.

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected] – to set up a call to discuss how DISC can help you in your leadership and other areas of your life
• Warrior Way Soccer Training
• Searching for Bobby Fischer (Film)

In Episode 35, we continue our Offseason Talks series with our host, Phil Darke, talking about the importance of mentorship in your leadership and every area of your life, particularly how it is virtually impossible to flourish at your fullest without finding trusted mentors and mentoring others. We discuss the concepts of a personal advisory board, constellation mentoring, and 2x2x2 mentoring.

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected] – to set up a call to discuss how DISC can help you in your leadership and other areas of your life
• Think Orphan Episode with Peter Greer

In Episode 34, we continue our Offseason Talks series with our host, Phil Darke, talking about why he believes that understanding and implementing the DISC Model of Human Behavior will help you take a massive step toward a healthy team and healthier life, better understanding of yourself and your players, staff, and volunteers, learning how to resolve conflict, reducing turnover, working better together with everyone in your life, get more results, and have much more fun in the process.

On average, two people only have a 40% chance of communicating well and connecting with another person. Most of the time, they are likely to miscommunicate or struggle to connect with each other. Find out more about the tool that can help us overcome these statistics in this Offseason Talk.

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected] – to set up a call to discuss how DISC can help you in your leadership and other areas of your life
• Discover your DISC personality style - https://www.personalityservice.com/portal/ZERB/store

In Episode 33, we are taking a little break from our normal programming to have some offseason talks between Seasons 3 & 4. In these talks, Paul and Phil will be sharing some timeless leadership principles that will help you flourish by knowing and pursuing your purpose, honing your skills, taking your leadership to the next level. In this first offseason talk, Phil shares about how writing your own eulogy and knowing your why are essential to your ability to lead yourself and others with excellence.

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected]
• Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, by Simon Sinek
• Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, by Daniel Harkavy and Michael Hyatt
• 40/40 Vision: Clarifying Your Mission in Midlife, by Peter Greer

In Episode 32, Paul and Phil recall some of the highlights of the second half of Season 3 and continue their conversation about the leadership genius of Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, and Nate the Great, covering Episodes 5 & 6 of the show. Specifically, they discuss:

• Highlights from the amazing interviews we had with Cori Close, Greg Rubendall, John Yeager, and Clyde Best in the second half of Season 3 (3:46)
• Why Paul relates so well with Higgins and Ted’s brilliance in handling Jamie Tartt’s unhealthy behavior on and off the field (23:19)
• Danny Rojas & how teammates (in sport and in life) can and should push each other to be better than they ever would have been on their own (29:30)
• The importance of a coach/leader shaping culture and teammates truly loving and caring about one another (44:00)
• Information on exciting new courses and masterminds for coaches, and DISC Training and Consulting for club, college, and pro teams launching in July (49:13)
• The development of Roy’s leadership and what we can learn from it (54:41)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Email Phil – [email protected]
• Ted Lasso (Apple TV)
• Miracle (Film)
• The Coaching Zone: Next Level Leadership in Sports, by John Yeager
• The Acid Test, by Clyde Best
• Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative, by Austin Cleon

In Episode 31, Clyde Best, MBE, former player with West Ham United, Feyenoord, Tampa Bay Rowdies, Portland Timbers, and Toronto Blizzard, former youth coach, former Manager of the Bermuda National Team, and member of the Bermuda Hall of Fame, talks with Phil about mentorship, self-awareness, the value of team sports in other areas of life, integrity and doing the “next right thing,” the infamous VAR, his beloved West Ham United, his faith, and how he has used lessons learned in his incredible playing career in other areas of life. Specifically, Clyde discusses:

• The value of mentors in football and in life (3:18)
• How he took the lessons learned from his mentors in the game and used them in his life after playing football (7:32)
• The importance of honing both your mental and physical parts of your game (11:17)
• How he can tell if someone has played team sports in their life (12:41)
• The importance of self-awareness and why it is important (17:39)
• Living a life of integrity and doing the “next right thing” (20:56)
• How he really feels about VAR, diving, and other not-so-great parts of the game (25:03)
• Life lessons we’re missing due to the introduction of VAR (27:16)
• What he learned from the game that he took to coaching youth and professionals (38:27)
• Things he loves about West Ham and things he wishes were different (42:30)
• Lessons he learned from the game itself that he used in his business (47:32)
• How his faith played into his playing, coaching, and other areas of life (48:52)
• Lessons he learned from the game that he has used in his marriage and parenting (50:10)
• What he has listened to that has informed his thinking of how soccer explains life and leadership (52:36)
• The importance of having a learning posture (55:14)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Clyde Best Foundation
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• The Acid Test: The Autobiography of Clyde Best, by Clyde Best

In Episode 30, John Yeager, Author of The Coaching Zone: Next Level Leadership in Sports, Positive Psychology Consultant, and Performance Coach, talks with Phil about his incredible new book, the 3 lenses of concentration, self-awareness and blind spots, harmonious vs. obsessive passion, PsyCap, polarity thinking, cultivating connections, providing effective feedback, overcoming confirmation bias and fundamental attribution error, and choreographing the “team dance.” Specifically, John discusses:

• How he developed his passion for sports and leadership, and how he got to be where he is today (2:38)
• His new book, what inspired him to write it, and all the interviews and research that went into the book (10:06)
• The 3 lenses of concentration of a “Focused Leader” (i.e., self, others, team) and how they play out in sports and life (12:02)
• Self-awareness, shadow strengths, and how we can uncover and mitigate against our blind spots (15:32)
• Harmonious passion vs. obsessive passion, and how HALTS can help us (24:12)
• Psychological Capital (PsyCap), as it relates to self, individual team members, and teams, the acronym H-E-R-O, and how it relates to our lives outside of sport (30:19)
• Polarity thinking (e.g., humility/confidence, direction/empowerment, continuity/transformation) – what it is, understanding how we need to harness it in our coaching, on and off the field, and how different personalities may address it differently (37:55)
• The importance of cultivating connections and how we can do it well in every area of our lives (47:50)
• How we can effectively provide feedback to our teams (52:28)
• How to protect against confirmation bias and fundamental attribution error in our leadership, and what System 1 and System 2 thinking has to do with it (56:33)
• The leader as choreographer of a “team dance” between and among the “tops, middles, and bottoms” (1:00:02)
• What he has learned directly from the game of soccer that he uses in his marriage, parenting, and other areas of life (1:03:03)
• His book recommendation (1:05:11)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Contact John Yeager – [email protected] & com (also on LinkedIn and FB)
• Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Contact Phil – [email protected]
• The Coaching Zone: Next Level Leadership in Sports, by John Yeager
• Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, by Daniel Goleman
• “The Focused Leader,” by Daniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review, 12/2013
• “On the development of harmonious and obsessive passion,” Genevieve Mageau and Robert Vallerand
• Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, by Doris Kearns Goodwin
• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, by Patrick Lencioni
• Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen
• Becoming Better Grownups: Rediscovering What Matters and Remembering How to Fly, by Brad Montague

In Episode 29, Greg Rubendall, Livermore Fusion Director of Soccer Development and US Soccer Grassroots Coach Educator, talks with Phil about “deep practice,” college club soccer, the importance of fundamentals, developing healthy parent-coach communication, controlling the controllables, shaping the culture in a diverse club, overcoming entitlement, speaking the international language of soccer, and the professionalization of youth soccer. Specifically, Greg discusses:

• How he developed his passion for soccer and leadership, and how he got to be where he is today (2:14)
• The value of College Club Soccer, from the sports and leadership perspective (6:31)
• The concept of “deep practice” and the importance of continuing to work on the fundamentals, in soccer and in life (13:57)
• The coach’s self-leadership and role in communicating with parents, and how we can coach the coaches to have healthy coach-parent relationships (20:13)
• Why coaches who played growing up can be dangerous (25:08)
• Winning vs. Development and controlling the controllables (32:39)
• How he shapes the culture of an entire club full of different coaches and players with different personalities and goals (37:38)
• The ills of entitlement and how Greg is working to mitigate against them in his club (48:43)
• The importance of fluency in the language of soccer/football in cross-cultural and international relationships (56:19)
• Pro and cons of the professionalization of youth soccer in the United States over the past couple decades (1:02:10)
• How he has used the lessons learned directly from soccer outside the game (1:12:48)
• His book recommendation (1:16:59)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Contact Greg - [email protected]
• Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Ted Lasso (Apple TV)
• How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization, by Franklin Foer

In Episode 28, Cori Close, Head Coach of UCLA Women’s Basketball, talks with Phil about lessons she learned from her mentor, John Wooden, her personal “Why,” what a broom and a shovel have to do with leadership, her Close Conversations, healthy conflict, gratitude, Championship Level Habits, doing the next right thing, and how work done in the dark gets revealed in the light. Specifically, Cori discusses:

• Issues with specialization in one sport too early (2:52)
• How she developed her passion for soccer, basketball, and leadership, and how she got to be where she is today (4:02)
• Some lessons she learned while being mentored by the incomparable, John Wooden (8:56)
• Her personal “Why” and life mission, and how it informs her leadership (12:40)
• What are the things from sports that will stay with us for our whole life (14:44)
• Why she has a broom and a shovel in her office (18:55)
• How we can find and what we can learn from her Close Conversations on social media (21:44)
• Why healthy conflict and tension is necessary for any healthy team (24:34)
• A “have-to” vs. “get-to” mentality and why it matters (32:54)
• Creating and reaching Championship Level Habits (39:16)
• Doing the next right thing in the midst of the wrestle and getting back to neutral (45:57)
• What she wants her players to know when they leave her program (53:16)
• What she has learned directly from basketball (and soccer) that she has used in her life and leadership outside the game(s) (54:41)
• How the work done in the dark gets revealed in the light (58:34)
• Her book and podcast recommendations (1:00:44)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Coach Close on IG & Twitter (@coachcoriclose), and FB (Cori Close)
• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Ted Lasso (Apple TV)
• Legacy: What the All Blacks Can Teach Us About the Business of Life, by James Kerr
• The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, by Stephen R. Covey
• Chop Wood, Carry Water: How to Fall in Love with the Process of Becoming Great, by Joshua Medcalf
• Burn Your Goals: The Counter Cultural Approach to Achieving Your Greatest Potential, by Joshua Medcalf
• The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else, by Patrick Lencioni
• Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable, by Patrick Lencioni
• The Third Option: Hope for a Racially Divided Nation, by Miles McPherson
• “Two Perspectives on Abortion,” Think Orphan Podcast, Episode 110
• In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence: My Kids, Your Kids, Our Kids, by Philip Darke and Keith McFarland, et. al
• Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear
• It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered, by Lisa Terkeurst
• It Takes What It Takes: How to Think Neutrally and Gain Control of Your Life, by Trever Moawad
• Win in the Dark, by Joshua Medcalf and Lucas Jadin
• The Focus 3 Podcast
• The Relentless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World, by John Mark Comer
• Fight Hustle, End Hurry Podcast with John Mark Comer and Jefferson Bethke

In Episode 27, Paul and Phil continue their conversation about the leadership genius of Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, and Nate the Great, covering Episodes 3 & 4 of the show, and briefly discuss highlights from the first half of Season 3. Specifically, our hosts discuss:

• Highlights from the first half of Season 3 (4:38)
• Empowering our players and children to deal with bullies and be leaders (8:00)
• Recognizing leaders and getting them to understand and live out their leadership (12:37)
• Studying your team members and how Ted’s gifts to his players teaches us a great lesson (14:53)
• Cultivating an environment for our players and employees to flourish (17:00)
• How life’s trials and struggles can teach us great life lessons (24:32)
• The critical importance of a humble, learning posture in leadership (27:45)
• The precursors to Ted Lasso (36:55)
• Measuring success (40:00)
• How eating spicy food can speak volumes (43:04)
• Resolving conflict in our locker rooms and businesses (46:56)
• Not judging a book by its cover (51:21)

Resources and Links from this Episode

• Uncut Video of the Episode
• HSEL Facebook Group
• Phil and HSEL on Clubhouse -- @phildarke
• Ted Lasso (Apple TV)
• The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure, by Jonathan Haidt
• The Beautiful and Damned, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
• A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’Engle
• Pele: Birth of a Legend (film)