Wanting space isn't the problem. Taking it badly is. If you've ever asked for space and watched it blow up — him spiraling, you feeling guilty, the connection somehow worse — this one's for you.

This is the women's companion to "5 Things Men Need to Know When She Needs Space." Tough love, the loving kind: 5 ways to take the space you need without losing the man you want to keep — how to name your terms, why vanishing backfires, the phrases to retire, and the tender moment when you just need to be quiet.

CHAPTERS

0:00   We need to talk, ladies

0:44   Why this keeps happening to you

1:39   Rule one: quantify the time

2:53   Space is holy — the vanishing act isn't

4:12   The vacuum you create when you vanish

6:24   Breakup grenades disguised as kindness

8:12   A quick word

8:38   Real space vs. a performance

10:25  Take space like a woman who keeps love

11:48  When you're just sad, not leaving