Closeness

For a sexual woman, nothing can be more painful than the rejection that comes from not feeling wanted or desired. In long-term relationships this is more common than you may think. Explore this emotionally charged episode with me to get some answers and help to some of the most difficult subjects that plague relationships today.

CHAPTERS

0:00 Introduction

5:12 Disperate sex drives and libidos

8:35 Why can't women just initiate themselves?

9:35 Female Nature

12:27 No man wants a starfish. No woman wants someone who doesn't desire her

13:14 The initiation paradox

14:55 Words vs Actions

16:26 Men find it hard to initiate when

19:06 For things to work, women need to offer these secret ingredients

23:42 Mens false promises?

24:40 This is how it looks when a woman feels undesired

25:52 A hug and kiss is not the bare minimum

26:50 Damage control due to lack of promises

30:32 For men with low sex drives / libidos

38:00 If you can't imagine the previous recommendations, ask yourself these hard questions

44:30 Is lack of sex a deal breaker for you or your partner?

47:45 Understanding mens issue with too much consent

51:41 Understanding why your wife doesn't initiate now even though she used to

53:00 A woman is only as sexual as you will allow or inspire her to be

54:10 Even in a sexless marriage, women still fantasize and want sex and intimacy

57:20 How to get help with this right now

58:44 Outro

There's a huge difference between you finding your woman sexy and her feeling sexy and sexual towards you. Listen to this episode to make a bigger splash with your partner in and out of the bedroom.

0:00 Intro

4:45 It's not only about physical touch

8:20 Men think it's their partners job to be sexy

8:44 Men want all the sexiness from her while changing nothing about themselves

13:55 Only women can get away with existing

15:05 Women have their own work to do

17:45 Men think women should initiate out of nowhere

20:45 She used to be this way but no longe is

22:00 Wearing lingerie

25:10 Intro to being the director

32:15 Being specific

35:35 Speak up!

41:15 Women get a little woozy when they're submissive

43:15 No half assed leading allowed

46:05 Often women don't even know what is sexy or what is sexy to you

48:30 Toys!

55:29 Eye contact

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Introduction

3:42 1:Logistics

8:03 The three categories of affection

11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings

13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time

14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids

15:58 3. No locks on your doors

18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you

19:57 5. Energy

22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural

29:25 7. You're not there emotionally

32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken

36:04 9. Your timing is off!

43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is

46:05 10. Pressure

50:36 11. Not putting yourself in your partners shoes (empathy and understanding)

54:15 12. Too many broken promises

56:50 13. Not making small progressions towards sex

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this

2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there

3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her

5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend

11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you

15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply

15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive

17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged

21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO

25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do

27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble

29:35 In search of answers...

30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it

35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly

37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too

41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too...

46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up

Image by Racool_studio on Freepik

Chapters: 

0:00 Intro 

2:25 Disclosures 

3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends 

5:45  1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention 

7:06 A taste of my story 

9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist 

12:00 The usual disclaimers 

14:00 A contribution from a single mother 

15:57 3. The length of your commitment matters 

17:56 4. Her children must come first 

22:15 5. You can’t just come over 

23:29 5a. Sometimes you may rank last in terms of priority 

24:24 5b. The ex she’s still in touch with 

25:30 Giving a balanced perspective 

27:04 6. You are stepping into a pre-existing family 

30:30 7. If the children don’t like you 

32:26 8. Divorce statistics and how they effect children 

33:39 9. You’ve got to be creative with discipline 

35:50 10. Navigating who should pay… for everyone 

41:06 11. The possibility of meeting the ex or proverbial crazy ex 

42:35 12. Extended family is often involved 

45:14 13. Women are incredible care takers- but often not for you 

49:08 14. The biggest risk: Spending time with the kids by yourself 

50:50 15. You’re not man enough for not raising her kids? 

52:42 16. Women have LOTS of “standards.” You’re allowed to have standards too

55:04 17. Physically speaking… 

59:04 18. What about what you need as a man? 

1:01:08 19. Women’s needs are often met by having and raising children 

1:03:35 20. Kids are truly a sensory experience for women 

1:07:20 Warm sentiments on the joys of connecting with children 

1:10:55 Outro 

Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you

14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently

16:47 3. The way that she looks at you

20:55 4. Admiration

24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you

28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do

35:30 Putting yourself in her position

41:12 7. Little notes and mementos

42:56 8. Gifts

45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time

48:30 10. She gives you her softness

50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom

51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things

52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her

54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you

56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro

1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently

3:41 Puppy dog love

8:34 Men and women initiate differently

12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you

14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate

15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner

18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing

21:14 Don't ask her to do it, show her

22:16 What it means to bring your masculine energy to the relationship

24:25 Distinguishing consent from asking for sex

28:14 Why can't women initiate?

29:18 Why you must initiate with her

30:14 When women actually do want to initiate

31:44 When is the right time to initiate sex with your partner

35:34 She wants you to take her

39:24 Getting all those bad boy qualities into... you

43:17 How to create a nice sexual buildup

46:20 Be careful of being mechanical and planning it all out

47:38 You must become a sexual being or a sexual person to satisfy her

49:22 All about sexual tension

57:55 Outro

This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deeper issue, others can simply be avoided with a little presence. In this episode we'll teach you how to understand and navigate conflict in a healthy way.

Chapters: 0:00 Introduction

1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action

3:20 Cause and effect

9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you

11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior

24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior

30:30 A logic based universe

32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain

37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today

38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions

40:25 The elusive world of feelings

42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated

48:45 Understanding intuition

50:45 Text fights

53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare

53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking

55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust

58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest

1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?

1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner

1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded

1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior

1:07:28 Playin the armchair psychologist

1:10:46 Outro

In this unprecedented interview read by the podcast host, a Closeness Client shares her struggles with intimacy and grapples with her desires for dominance and assertiveness in relationship. A two part interview with a "director's cut" version: commentary from the host, as well as an unadulterated interview. Does her experience hit home?

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Intro

2:15 The basis of this interview

6:04 The unedited interview begins at about 58 minutes

6:24 The interview begins

7:09 How long have you been together and what is working?

8:16 Fantasizing about dominance

8:42 How is your communication?

9:16 Some personal commentary

11:56 What are you struggling with in your relationship?

12:40 Discussion about women waiting for the action

14:52 She needs a dominant man

22:58 How can I help and what do you want to accomplish here?

29:40 Infidelity and frequency of sex

32:48 Expectations about sex

35:12 Who rejects who more and why?

38:59 Where would you like to see your partner be more of something

40:48 Her primal sexual experiences

44:40 My commentary

50:30 How a man can assert dominance in an attractive way to her

53:00 The importance of women speaking their minds in relationship

53:32 Her sexual kinks and interests

54:02 Do you climax regularly, even if not together?

54:16 She wants to learn how to be more feminine and elimiate masculine energy

58:34 FULL UNADULTERATED INTERVIEW

1:21:59 Outro

Without a doubt, one of the number one reasons people struggle in long term, committed relationships, is because they feel like best friends or roommates at home. There's no passion or excitement! Nothing is moving forward, or things have gone stale. In this hour long episode you’ll learn how to immediately take the reins again and change that immediately. 

CHAPTERS: 

0:00 Intro

0:57 The Waiting game 

3:47 Why this happens 

4:57 Women can take the lead without being outrageous 

8:13 If you’re already a woman who’s comfortable initiating 

10:46 Women don’t want to initiate 

12:56 women are hornier but can go longer without it

14:08 On sexual tension and the importance it 

15:32 What I think women want sexually 

18:01 Summary of key points 

21:17 Women can progress things too! 

23:23 Ladies you re allowed! Give yourself permission

25:45 Something women can do to initiate or be more receptive 

30:02 Men who think they always need to chase 

30:55 Women and lofty expectations 

31:40 Men can pick up and notice things but not ultra subtle cues  

32:58 Just because you’re letting it happen does not mean you necessarily like it

36:54 Advice for men 

39:44 Sex and sexuality often doesn’t happen outside of the house

42:46 Sitting separately on the sofa like roommates 

48:20 You can’t be too sweet or exclusively sweet 

50:28 Examples of being sexy 

53:02 Don’t be predictable 

54:42 How to engage in suggestive behavior 

57:20 How to handle yourself with most women 

58:59 How to keep the train moving forward 

1:01:23 Further problem solving 

1:04:36 Dirty talk 

1:05:30 Men really struggle to play and not act 

1:07:30 Finding the right words to use with your woman 

1:09:24 Delivering the goods 

1:13:14 Outro