Closeness

To Come or Not to Come: Should Men Always Finish?

When it comes to intimacy, an often overlooked question to ask is quite simply: should a man ALWAYS “finish” during sex? And does he even need to? The answer quite simply is no. It is not always urgent or necessary.

Society often treats male orgasm as the end-all, be-all, end-of-it-all of sex, but is this expectation helpful—or even healthy? In this episode, we break down the cultural, emotional, and even spiritual dynamics around male orgasm and challenge the pressure placed on men to “perform” every single time.

Societal Expectations and Misconceptions

From movies to media, we’ve been conditioned to believe that male ejaculation equals a successful sexual experience. This expectation creates a performative mindset that reduces intimacy to a mechanical act and puts unnecessary pressure on men while making women feel like they are attractive and desirable.

It’s a dynamic many don’t talk about: women can unintentionally place heavy pressure on their partners to come by treating male orgasm as proof of their desirability or sexual skill. This leaves little room for men to slow down, be more present, explore, or simply enjoy the experience without worrying about the finish line.

The Pros and Cons of Always Finishing

Is a male orgasm inherently bad? Absolutely not—it’s natural part of life and for most it's going to happen whether they want it to or not. But there are downsides to chasing it every single time. Spiritually and energetically speaking, some men believe that abstaining from finishing allows them to conserve and generate more energy, deepen connection, and prolong intimacy.  For men who practice restraint, sex becomes less about “getting there” and more about being there.

On the flip side, different sex drives and physical needs mean that no two people experience intimacy the same way. For some men, finishing is an essential part of feeling satisfied and connected, and some men unfortunately can't even imagine ONE instance in their life where they would abstain.

The key is open communication: partners need to recognize that male pleasure doesn’t always have to be linear, and not reaching orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean something is “wrong.”

Pressure and the Myth of Marathon Sex

Pressure during sex—whether it’s self-imposed or from a partner—can kill the vibe faster than anything else. Some men feel they’re expected to last forever, perform perfectly, and always finish, which can also create anxiety instead of connection.

There’s no reward for marathon sex if it’s not enjoyable for both partners. Making her come a 60th time does not crown you king of the hill. Intimacy isn’t a competition or a checklist—it’s about shared experience, pleasure, and emotional connection.

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

This episode helps us remember that sex is more than a sport, an act or an objective that must be reached. For men, understanding their own bodies, communicating with their partners, and challenging societal expectations can lead to more fulfilling and pressure-free intimacy. For women, it’s about recognizing that a man not finishing doesn’t mean failure—it’s just a different way of being present.

So, to come or not to come? The answer lies in what feels best for you and your partner but we certainly have some ideas and suggestions for you. Release the pressure, explore the possibilities, and redefine what great sex means to you both.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more insights on intimacy, connection, and relationships, tune into this episode and visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer, together. 🌟

0:00 Introduction

0:53 Societal expectations around finishing

1:33 Typical expectations around m

Navigating Sexual Inexperience: A Guide for Men and Their Partners

Sexual inexperience in men is a topic of conversation that is often avoided, misunderstood, or riddled with shame. This episode of Closeness addresses the stigma, challenges, and solutions for men who lack experience in the bedroom, offering actionable advice for both men and their partners. Whether you’re the one navigating inexperience or supporting someone who is, this episode provides the tools to foster understanding, intimacy, and growth.

Breaking the Silence Around Sexual Inexperience

In today’s hypersexualized world, inexperienced men often feel isolated and inadequate. Or, they simply parrot what they see in porn.  Many assume that sex is a skill that magically comes naturally once you’re in a relationship—or worse, that marriage will magically unlock expertise. The reality? Sexual skills, like any other, require learning, practice, and open communication.

Men facing this challenge often grapple with shame, guilt, and fear of judgment, making it difficult for them to reach out for help. This episode reassures them: you are not alone.

Why Women Struggle to Teach

A crucial insight shared in this episode is that women typically don’t want to teach their man how to have sex with them. Some find it less than sexy and others find it emasculating but  some partners still may be patient and understanding.

Most women however can become frustrated or resentful when they feel like they have to initiate all the time or carry the burden of sexual exploration. This dynamic often results in tension, where women may feel unfulfilled, and leave their men feeling  inadequate.

Additionally, it's my experience that sexually inexperienced men often find themselves paired with more experienced women. In these cases, women may take the lead initially but can grow weary if the dynamic remains one-sided year after year. Most women will initiate less in relationship after the romance period wears off. The challenge for men is to overcome hesitation, build confidence, and actively participate in the relationship without relying solely on their partner to drive intimacy. Sadly most men are intimidated by their female partner, too scared or nervous, or think they are pretending, role playing or acting. 

How Women Can Help Support Their Partner

While women may not want to “teach” directly, they can play a vital role in helping their inexperienced partners grow. The episode offers practical advice for women, such as:

1.Create a Safe Space: Make your partner feel safe, valued, and respected. Judgment-free communication and an openness to play is key.

2.Encourage Exploration: Gently suggest new things to try together, turning intimacy into a collaborative and enjoyable experience.

3.Focus on Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate progress and moments of connection instead of focusing on what isn’t working.

When women approach the situation with patience and support, it helps reduce the pressure and stigma men may feel, paving the way for mutual growth and deeper intimacy.

Are Women More Sexual Than Men?

The episode also challenges the stereotype that men are always the more sexual partner. In many cases, women may express greater sexual confidence or desire, especially when paired with an inexperienced partner.  Understanding that sexual energy is not inherently tied to gender can help both partners redefine their dynamic and meet each other’s needs more effectively.

Building Confidence and Connection

Inexperienced men often take on what might traditionally be seen as the “female role” in the bedroom, leaning into passivity, submissiveness or hesitation. This isn’t inherently bad, but it highlights the need for men to step into their own confidence. Developing a stronger sense of self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and actively pa

One of the most difficult things someone can hear, is that their partner needs space. Nothing is clear, the terms are undefined, and once uttered it usually ends up in disaster. Tune in now to find out what to do.

CHAPTERS:

0:00 Introduction

5:25 Malignant phrases

6:20 How to handle short term space

8:38 When she takes days, weeks and months of space

13:15 What you're supposed to know when she says she needs space

16:08 If you're going to try to make it work, here's what you should do. 15 minutes.

34:42 Do the feelings of the other partner matter?

39:54 How to correctly ask for space

42:21 Asking for space in a healthy and conscious way

44:55 What NOT to do when you needs space

47:36 Should you go out, party, drink and do drugs?

52:45 You actually could have just ended the relationship

53:32 When a guys never texts you back or calls you back...

56:15 How much space do you actually need?

56:54 Why women get upset when a man asks natural questions

59:15 If you're going through this now, it gets worse...

1:03:25 The pitfalls of actually taking space

1:06:42 What if your partner doesn't need or want space but you do?

1:08:43 What if the man needs space?

1:10:54 Summing it all up

1:15:15 How anger and resentment plays in to taking space

1:25:50 Does Tari actually see the value in taking space?

Thank you for listening! We hope you enjoyed this immensely.

Breakups: What You Need, How to Heal, and When to Let Go

Breakups are messy, painful, and complicated, but they’re also opportunities for growth if approached with intention. In this episode, we dive deep into the lessons learned through heartbreak and how to navigate the journey of healing. From the importance of actions over words to the emotional pitfalls of unbalanced love, this conversation is packed with insights to help you move forward with clarity and self-respect.

What Do You Owe the Other Person?

A common question during a breakup is: what do you actually owe your partner? The answer lies in mutual respect. Whether you’re the one ending things or the one being left, practicing the golden rule—treating others how you would want to be treated—can make all the difference. This means communicating honestly, avoiding ghosting or cruelty, and offering closure when possible. It’s about handling the end of a relationship with dignity, not only for them but for yourself.

Why Self-Care Comes First

Breakups can leave us feeling overextended, especially when we’ve invested too much into the relationship. It’s tempting to pour your energy into trying to “fix” things, but the reality is that this often leads to burnout. The focus must shift inward: self-care is the key to healing. Take time to nurture yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you feel like you’ll never want anyone else but your ex, remind yourself that this is temporary and rooted in the immediacy of loss.

A helpful exercise is reflecting on past relationships. Think of an ex you thought you’d never get over. You did, didn’t you? This shows that even the strongest emotional ties can loosen with time and effort. Once you’ve healed, redirecting your energy to helping others can be a therapeutic way to regain purpose and perspective.

Can You Be Friends With an Ex?

One of the most debated post-breakup questions is whether you can remain friends with your ex. While it’s possible, it’s often tricky and fraught with complications. Personal stories shared in this episode highlight the challenges of trying to maintain a friendship, especially when emotions and unresolved feelings linger.

The hard truth? Physical boundaries are non-negotiable—never touch your ex again after breaking up. Intimacy blurs lines and hinders healing, making it harder to move on. Ask yourself: do you really want to be friends, or are you holding onto the hope of reconciliation?

Love, Imbalance, and Moving Forward

Unbalanced love is one of the most painful dynamics in any relationship. Being in love with someone who only “likes” you back can erode your self-worth. Similarly, staying with a partner who doesn’t show up for you emotionally is draining and unsustainable. This episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing when to walk away—whether you’re the one giving too much or receiving too little.

One key takeaway? Don’t settle for a relationship where your love isn’t reciprocated. And if you find yourself thinking about someone else while with your partner, it’s a sign that neither of you is in the right place. Relationships thrive on mutual investment, and without it, they can’t last.

Moving Toward Healing

Breakups are never easy, but by focusing on self-care, setting boundaries, and reflecting on the lessons learned, you can turn heartbreak into a powerful opportunity for growth. Treat your ex with kindness, but prioritize your own healing. Above all, remember: you deserve a relationship where love and effort are mutual.

Ready to Heal?

For more insights into relationships, self-discovery, and moving forward after heartbreak, visit Closeness.com. Tune in to this episode and let’s get closer. 💔✨

1:45 Actions speak louder than words

5:55 What do you actually owe t

Surviving a Breakup: How to Survive, Heal and Move Forward

Breakups are one of the toughest emotional challenges we face. Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or simply the difficulty of letting go, the aftermath can shatter us and feel overwhelming. In this 90-minute episode, we tackle the raw emotions and practical steps needed to help you navigate and heal from a breakup. From understanding grief to recognizing harmful distractions, this episode is your guide to finding relief and clarity during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of a Breakup

In the midst of a breakup, it’s easy to slip into patterns of resentment, searching for reasons to dislike your ex as a way to move on. In fact many people convince themselves that they hate or despise this person in order to try to get them out of their heads.

 But true healing requires more than anger—it requires grieving. It requires SELF reflection.  The common advice that “time heals all wounds” often feels unhelpful because time alone isn’t enough. Healing demands intentional effort, self-reflection, and avoiding the trap of unhealthy distractions.

Instead of numbing the pain with temporary fixes, we explore the importance of self-soothing and finding genuine relief.

What Not to Do During Healing

Breakups can tempt us into destructive behaviors, from holding onto old possessions, to treating ourselves and bodies poorly, to making the wrong choices with other intimate partners. Sometimes we'll on the wrong kind of friends who either think we can do no wrong, or aren't as supportive as we need.

This episode helps you separate helpful coping mechanisms from harmful distractions. For example, surrounding yourself with supportive, emotionally intelligent  but honest friends can provide solace, while seeking validation from an ex or toxic relationships often leads to more pain.

Feng Shui principles, such as letting go of items tied to the past, can also help create emotional clarity and a sense of renewal.

Lessons in Reflection and Growth

The aftermath of a breakup often reveals truths we ignored during the relationship.  Reflecting on how your ex treats you—both during and after the split—can be eye-opening. Were they always kind? Did they attack you constantly for seemingly no reason? Did they gaslight you? Were they selfish or dismissive of your needs? Do they constantly talk over you. Recognizing these patterns helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes in future relationships.

This episode also tackles deeper dynamics, such as what happens when one partner loves more than the other and why people often lie to protect themselves during difficult times.

Breakups don’t have to mean endless suffering however. By understanding the grieving process, giving yourself the right kind of self love and space, avoiding common pitfalls, and focusing on self-growth, you can emerge stronger and more self-aware. Perhaps you'll even be more vulnerable and conscious of others around you too.  

Are you actually Ready to Heal?

For actionable advice, emotional insights, and a roadmap to recovery, tune into this episode and take the first steps toward moving forward. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth. 💔✨

CHAPTERS 0:00

Intro 2:45

You are probably in crisis right now

7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them

8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process

10:20 The disaster of distracting yourself vs healing yourself

12:14 The age old adage, that everything heals with time is not helpful

14:45 How to self soothe and search for relief

17:33 Avoiding unhealthy distractions

24:39 How can you separate distractions from helpful

What are the warning signs?

Is Your Relationship Built to Last, or Is It Time to let go?

Breakups are among the most painful experiences we endure, often taking months or even years to recover from. But what if we could see the signs before it’s too late? In part one of this three-part series, we help you take a closer look at your current relationship—what’s working, what’s not, and how you’re truly being treated. This episode is about clarity: identifying red flags, spotting toxic patterns, and uncovering the behaviors that may indicate it’s time to move on.

Relationships rarely fall apart without warning, yet we often overlook the signs in front of us. Love matters. Love sometimes can trump all, but if it blinds us to pitfalls that are sometimes so obvious to those around us, we sometimes need to tread lightly.

Whether it’s dismissing small (or large) acts of disrespect, ignoring a lack of effort, not giving the benefit of the doubt, or convincing ourselves that things will get better while they (or we) don't change, denial can keep us stuck in situations that aren’t serving us.

This episode offers a roadmap to recognize when a relationship is healthy versus when it’s time to reevaluate. By confronting the truth of your dynamic now, you can save yourself from prolonged heartache down the line.

The next episode will dive into the harsh realities of navigating a painful breakup and how to survive it. But for now, this is your chance to take a hard look at the relationship you’re in. Is it helping you grow, or holding you back? Are you being treated with respect and care or making excuses for bad behavior? Do you blame, accuse and point the finger without all the facts? Tune in to uncover the red flags, empower yourself with awareness, and gain the tools to decide whether it’s time to stay or walk away.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more insights into relationships, love, and self-discovery, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer. 🌟

Ghosting and Blocking: Some of the Most Damaging Behavior of Our Generation

 Whether it’s cutting off contact, blocking someone on social media who has hardly said a word, or simply disappearing on someone after you sleep with them, ghosting leaves emotional scars that ripple far beyond the moment. This episode dives into the phenomenon, exploring why people ghost, the emotional toll it takes, and how we can change this behavior for good.

What Is Ghosting, and Why Do People Do It?

Ghosting happens when someone abruptly cuts off communication without warning or closure. But why do people ghost? Often, it’s a mix of fear, insecurity, and discomfort. Most people simply want to avoid being "uncomfortable," yet our own "comfort" level is not exclusively what's important when you're dealing with two people.

People may ghost to avoid confrontation, shield themselves from emotional vulnerability, or simply because they don’t know how to express their feelings responsibly. However, this avoidance doesn’t just harm the person being ghosted—it erodes trust and leaves both parties emotionally disconnected.

The Emotional Impact of Ghosting

This behavior has devastating effects on those left behind. Ghosting makes people question their worth, encourages feelings of rejection, and creates lasting emotional wounds. Over time, it diminishes the ghoster’s ability to build trust and meaningful relationships with those they leave in their absence.

Worse, it normalizes avoidance as a way of handling difficult emotions, creating a generation ill-equipped for healthy communication and conflict resolution.

How to Recognize, Avoid, and Cure Ghosting

This episode provides the tools you need to identify ghosting behavior in yourself or others, offering actionable advice on how to break the cycle. Key insights include:

•Emotional Involvement: Understanding when emotional ties form and how disappearing impacts both parties.

•Taking Responsibility: Why being “uncomfortable” is not an excuse to ghost someone and how to manage discomfort respectfully.

•Healthy Rejection: Learning how to set boundaries and reject someone with compassion and clarity.

•Building Trust: Why communication, even in difficult moments, is essential to maintaining integrity in relationships.

Key Moments in the Episode

Throughout the discussion, we tackle important topics, such as:

•The role of insecurities and fears in ghosting.

•The devastating effects of ghosting and how it fosters hostility and mistrust.

•The concept of “curving” (subtly rejecting someone without full closure).

•Blocking as a boundary or avoidance tool.

•The importance of being a custodian of someone else’s emotions when involved with them.

Moving Toward Healthy Boundaries

Ghosting isn’t just about disappearing—it’s about neglecting our responsibility to treat others with respect and care. This episode emphasizes the importance of understanding and maintaining healthy boundaries, offering practical examples of how to reject someone responsibly and how to handle rejection with grace.

Why You Should Listen

Ghosting isn’t just a personal issue—it’s a cultural one. By addressing it head-on, we can create a society where respect, understanding, and communication are prioritized over avoidance and fear. Whether you’ve been ghosted, have ghosted someone, or simply want to improve your communication skills, this episode offers valuable lessons on building stronger, more respectful connections.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more episodes on intimacy, connection, and boundaries, visit Closeness.com. 🌟

CHAPTERS:0:00 What is ghosting?2:25 Why do people ghost? 6:25 When does emotional involvement begin?10:17 Preliminaries and disclaimers13:15 Having to make backup plans 14:41

The Truth About Chemistry: It’s Not Just “There or It Isn’t”

Yup. Surprise! Hot chemistry can be created from nothing. In fact most of the time... it is! 

What’s your definition of hot, passionate chemistry? Do you believe it’s something that either magically exists or doesn’t?

In this episode of Closeness, we’re bursting that myth wide open. Chemistry isn’t just a lucky accident—it’s something you can create, cultivate, and amplify in our partner when you understand how it works.

What We’ll Explore:

•How to naturally create good chemistry with someone who likes you.

•Is good chemistry for men inevitable, or does it depend on the situation?

•The surprising number of types of chemistry and how to identify them.

•How to allow chemistry to happen by letting yourself go there.

•Why we shut ourselves down and block love when it comes from unexpected sources.

•The inevitability of not clicking with everyone—and why that’s okay.

•Why context and timing are everything in building chemistry.

•How to channel the energy from past relationships to spark intimacy in new ones.

•The role of touch, eye contact, and body language in creating sparks.

•Why “I’m just not feeling it” is a flawed excuse.

•Why thinking chemistry “just happens” misses the bigger picture.

Why Listen?

This episode dives deep into the science and art of chemistry, challenging the common belief that it’s purely luck or fate. By the end, you’ll have the tools to create magnetic connections and understand why some relationships ignite while others fizzle.

Ready to Come Closer?

Tune in now to discover how to unlock the chemistry you’ve been searching for. For more insights into intimacy, connection, and passion, visit Closeness.com. 💫

Is She Asking for It… or Just Asking for Attention?

In this provocative episode of The Closeness Podcast, we explore the power dynamics behind flirting, teasing, and attraction. Many women love being in a position of control—turning men on with playful eye contact, teasing gestures, or provocative outfits, all without intending to follow through sexually. It’s a game of power and attention, but where does the line get drawn? And what right does a man have if any, to act on it? 

What You’ll Learn:

•The Power of Teasing: Why some women enjoy turning men on while maintaining full control of the situation.

•Flirting vs. Intentions: Exploring the difference between asking for attention and asking for sex.

•Why She Dresses That Way: Unpacking the common claim that women “dress for themselves” and what provocative clothing signals to others.

•Breaking the Misconceptions: Why “she’s not asking for it” is always the answer, even if she’s enjoying the attention but if she likes you it doesn't mean both people can't have some fun. 

This episode explores the nuances of female empowerment vs entitlement, mindset attraction, and boundaries, shedding light on a topic often misunderstood. Whether you’re curious about the psychology of teasing or the fine line between admiration and obligation, this discussion is designed to challenge perspectives and foster greater understanding.

Ready to Come Closer?

T For more insights into relationships, intimacy, and attraction, visit Closeness.com.

Chapters:

0:00 Intro

1:16 Is she asking for it? 

8:04 Men don't really like to be teased the way women do

8:43 You should always be able to say no 

9:43 He's reading your cues accurately if you're advertising sex

10:04 The same cues you use to flirt are the same cues people use to have sex

13:52 When a man takes you shopping... 

Kauai Escape: A new Sensual Meditation You’ll Want to Replay again and again

Welcome to another Closeness sensual meditation—your go-to sexy escape whenever you need to recharge and reconnect. One aspect of these brief encounters serves as a rampage of appreciation. That means that by focusing on things that feel good to you, without letting other defeating thoughts in, even if for a few short minutes, you'll start to feel better. Your focus will shift and you'll awaken your senses in just 15 minutes or less! 

This time, we’re taking you to the shores of Kauai, with crystal-clear warm salty waters, soft sand, and the soothing sounds of the ocean. It’s an immersive experience meant to transport you into a world of relaxation and hot sex.

Before you hit play, find a comfortable, quiet place where you can truly let go. Whether you’re unwinding after a long day or seeking a moment of intimacy, this meditation is the perfect way to center yourself without demanding too much of your time.

Ready to get warmer and Come Closer?

Tune in and let this meditation guide you to a tropical, primal state of mind. For more sensual escapes and tools for intimacy, visit Closeness.com. 🌴