I'm sure you have been there, you know you need help, you want help, but the fear of asking for it is too great. It is easier to just sit there and suffer than to open yourself up and ask for help. It could be a project at work or something in your life. But asking for help is the hardest thing for many of us to do. Maybe you see yourself as someone who helps others. It could be that want others to see you as strong. It could be that you see asking for help as weakness. There are a lot of misconceptions. Maybe you don’t see yourself as worthy of the help that you need or you think you will brother or be a drain on others. I’m sure there are more reasons and whatever yours is, you just set their suffering without asking.

The truth is that humans are a pack or social being. We are designed to work together. We could not survive on our own as we developed as a race. We need help because it may be something too big and heavy for one person; like trying to lift or move a grand piano by yourself. How many of you would even attempt that? Maybe it is just something outside your wheelhouse, something you do not have the skill or talent to do. But trying to accomplish these tough things on your own will lead to feelings of being alone. Even though asking for help may seem difficult it is what will serve and support you. It is what you are hardwired to do. This is how we survived on this planet. You could not kill a lion or bison on your own. It took a team. Nothing great in history has been done without a team. You are not meant to be alone. You are not the only one who suffers. By asking for help others can get the idea that it is okay for them to also ask. It is because of our need to be together, that asking creates a bond.

The most important question I think we can answer today is; How do we ask for help? To start with “We Must Ask” using words. Mind reading is not something that we can rely on. Asking out loud for what we need is very important. The correct way to ask, is just to be honest and tell them that you need help, and what you need help with. It is important to say it with confidence and be straightforward also. Using honesty, confidence and being straightforward gives people a feeling that you can be trusted. It lets them know that you want their help and you think highly of them and their abilities to help you overcome the problem. You might find the person you asked for help has a deeper understanding of the problem than you expected. Maybe they too have dealt with it or something close to it in their life. Asking will help you understand that you are not alone! It will bring you closeness with those that you ask.

Some tools to use before asking someone for help. First know your audience before making the request. Is this a person that will know how to help? Will they have the knowledge and be able to explain to me how to get past the problem? Will they see the need I have? Do they care enough to put in the effort to help me find the answer? Next tool is to formulate the words and questions you want answered before you go and ask. This goes back to the straightforward part. If you stumble around and do not know how to ask the question It will be very difficult for someone to understand the problem and help you find a solution. 

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