How to Ask Someone to Be Your Mentor

How to ask someone to be your mentor can feel daunting and uncomfortable. But having a guide as to what you are looking for and the right perspective will help you get the right mentor that will not just expand your knowledge but also grow your career.

So, where to start?

1. Make a List of Potential Mentors and How They Can Help

Purpose is everything, before you determine who you want your mentor to be, start by getting clear on a few questions about yourself. “Ask yourself, ‘What is it I’d most like to learn?’”

For example, say you want to learn how to write a book or affiliate marketing. Start by making a short list of people in your orbit who may be able to help you learn by sharing their own experience. Start from within…

2. Make Your Mentorship Ask

Many mentor/mentee relationships come about organically. But that doesn’t mean you should shy away from making a direct request. Many well experienced leaders see helping others develop as the legacy they wish to leave behind. Not everyone will be available, but you can be confident that there are many who would be motivated to support your efforts.

Here, few suggestions on how to go with it;

In other words, you have to be able to articulate the “big why” for wanting someone’s time and attention. When you share that big why with them, they are more likely to see the potential impact and will actually experience a biochemical reinforcement known as the ‘helper’s high’.

Again, your could-be mentors probably have a lot on their plate and no shortage of opportunities. Be crystal clear about why you are asking them specifically to be your mentor. This extra step will also ensure you are asking the right person for the right reason.

It’s hard for someone to make a commitment when they aren’t clear about what they are committing to. Start small, asking for an amount of time—say, a half hour meeting every month. “You want to make it easy for them to say yes. “Brené Brown says, ‘Clear is kind.’”

Your hoped-for mentor wants to help, but doesn’t have the bandwidth. That’s OK. Having alternate options at the ready, and making it clear that you don’t need a large time commitment—perhaps all you ask for is a brief chat to learn more about their career journey. And if your second choice says no, remember that you can learn from that, too. (Sometimes success means saying no.)

3. Beware of Common Mentorship Pitfalls

Just remember, there is a difference between mentorship and coaching, mentors help you grow by sharing knowledge or experience they gained on their own path to success. Your mentor may also be someone in a position to advocate for you to take on new opportunities. Coaches help you look inward, tapping into your own strengths and capabilities.

Of course, the roles are complementary. A mentor can serve as an example for success while a coach can help you personalize your own path to achieve it in a way that’s authentic and sustainable for you.

And remember: A mentor doesn’t have to be a person with more experience than you. “Reverse mentorship” is increasingly popular, but it’s really just a reminder that knowledge and perspective sharing can happen at any level.

Finally, looking for a mentor can be so tiring but yet worth it, so go for what you desire. Do have a blessed day.