Toolkit for Life

How to avoid choking the love of your life. Episode 12.


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Have you ever felt like choking the love of your life? How about shaking them? Or maybe you are more peaceful and feel like giving them a time-out. I know I have.

They say women marry hoping men will change and men marry hoping women won’t change. The truth is we both change but never in the ways, we expect.

So how do we deal with the frustration and sometimes anger of sharing our lives with people that can at times seem so different from us?

Let me give you an example- Jimmy is a perfectionist and has no notion of time, me, on the other hand, I like doing as many things as I can in the least amount of time and have an inner watch. I know for the most part how long things take (for the most part). So when we travel I’m the one running for breakfast, swearing I can go to a yoga class, while taking pictures and stretching. In the meantime, Jimmy is slowly sipping his perfect latte asking me what’s the rush? He doesn’t understand why I rush and my need to see and do everything and I don’t understand how he can take such a long time in the simplest tasks. 

The truth is I won’t make him into Speedy Gonzalez and he won’t turn me into a perfectionist. Can we get pissed at each other over it? ABSOLUTELY!  

It’s like we are watching a cloud and he swears it looks like an elephant and I swear it’s a unicorn. Trying to convince and argue over who is right is a waste of time. We are both right and wrong at the same time. Instead, we can take this as an opportunity to see our patterns and ask ourselves-

WHAT CAN I LEARN FROM THIS?

Marrying somebody exactly like yourself would be easy but would becoming boring in no time. If you are sharing your life with somebody it’s because you made the decision to grow and learn. So why not do that instead. View him or her as a teacher, view the problem as a teaching (sometimes the teacher you don’t really like or the subject that you hate) but a teacher none the less and get enough insight to break your patterns. 

Go to the podcast to learn a quick meditation for loving the unlovable and growing together.

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Toolkit for LifeBy Janna Lozow