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How To Balance Different Attachment Needs
This is the # 1 issues couples have, and most often come to therapy for. If past trauma has formed an insecure style of attachment (meaning they organize their relational needs around
anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment), and their
partner is organized differently, then this sets up a push and pull style of relating to one another, or what we can a pursue/withdraw cycle.
We unpack this important topic by detailing 4 ways in which couples can work at meeting one another's attachment needs:
1. Know their attachment style - This involves being able to understand how you protect yourself when you feel a threat to the relationship.
2. Self-regulation - The ability to soothe yourself when your partner is not always available to you.
3. Foster secure attachment behaviors - The ability to attune to your partners emotional life, especially in critical moments of need.
4. Respect individual needs - Being able to respect the unique individuality that is your partner and the way they express that in the relationship.
When couples WORK at their relationships, this is often what they mean. Throughout the relationship lifecycle, this balance of attachment needs is the substance of the work!
Follow us on social media:
www.facebook.com/traumafreerelationship
www.instagram.com/traumafreerelatioship
Download our FREE workbook for couples:
https://www.traumafreerelationship.com/pl/2147999609
Need additional help. Contact us for a coaching call at:
https://www.traumafreerelationship.com/relationship-coaching
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By Tom PhilpThis is the # 1 issues couples have, and most often come to therapy for. If past trauma has formed an insecure style of attachment (meaning they organize their relational needs around
anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment), and their
partner is organized differently, then this sets up a push and pull style of relating to one another, or what we can a pursue/withdraw cycle.
We unpack this important topic by detailing 4 ways in which couples can work at meeting one another's attachment needs:
1. Know their attachment style - This involves being able to understand how you protect yourself when you feel a threat to the relationship.
2. Self-regulation - The ability to soothe yourself when your partner is not always available to you.
3. Foster secure attachment behaviors - The ability to attune to your partners emotional life, especially in critical moments of need.
4. Respect individual needs - Being able to respect the unique individuality that is your partner and the way they express that in the relationship.
When couples WORK at their relationships, this is often what they mean. Throughout the relationship lifecycle, this balance of attachment needs is the substance of the work!
Follow us on social media:
www.facebook.com/traumafreerelationship
www.instagram.com/traumafreerelatioship
Download our FREE workbook for couples:
https://www.traumafreerelationship.com/pl/2147999609
Need additional help. Contact us for a coaching call at:
https://www.traumafreerelationship.com/relationship-coaching