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How To Be Aligned And Authentically You With Marques Ogden
“If you want to be successful in life, be your own CEO.”
In this episode, Nick speaks with Marques Ogden, a former NFL player turned speaker and coach, and shares his journey from the NFL to bankruptcy and divorce and how he rebuilt his life. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on your strengths and building from there rather than dwelling on your weaknesses. Marques also highlights the significance of mindset and self-discipline in achieving success and overcoming adversity. He shares his personal experience with therapy and the transformation from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.
What to listen for:
“You need to really be inspired, or what Aristotle said is for you to be passionate about what you’re doing.”
“Master what you are good at. Build from there, and then let everything else take its time and take its course.”
“I used to always look at things from a victim mindset. And now I really realized after my divorce and starting to say, you know what, I’m not going to live like this. I now have turned that from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.”
About Marques Ogden
Marques Ogden is a former NFL player turned inspirational speaker, author, and entrepreneur. He is the founder and CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC, a media and entertainment company that specializes in keynote speaking, business coaching, and consulting.
Ogden is a three-time best-selling author and the host of the podcast “Get Authentic with Marques Ogden.” In his speaking engagements, Marques leads his audiences to understand why “Authenticity Creates Victory” by sharing his personal story of overcoming adversity and achieving success. Marques is on a mission to inspire CEOs and other senior leaders to maximize their potential to reach their personal and professional goals.
Resources:
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Click Here To View The Episode Transcript
Nick McGowan (00:04.403)
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self -Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I have Marcus Ogden. Marcus, how are you doing today?
Marques Ogden (00:11.44)
I’m doing well, Nick. How you doing today, my friend?
Nick McGowan (00:16.851)
I’m good, man. I’m excited that you’re on. I had a guest on the show maybe a year ago at this point, who’s a buddy of yours, business partner of yours. And I always love when I get referrals from somebody who’s already been on the show, because I know that I can trust them. You know, you can’t go wrong with referrals and repeats in business anyway. But to hand off somebody like you, we’ve already started to have a good conversation. So I’m excited to get this thing started. So why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living. And what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre?
Marques Ogden (00:46.)
Great question, Nick. So I am a national international keynote speaker, business coach, business consultant, podcast host, business owner. I’m a brand ambassador for brands that I believe in and align with my values in the best of our brands. What people don’t know about me, that my favorite show growing up, and again, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell it would last today on the network, is Mary with Children. Huge, huge Al Bundy fan.
Nick McGowan (01:12.403)
Cool.
Marques Ogden (01:14.)
I’m all about Al Bundy, I’m all about Peg, and all that kind of stuff. So for me, man, I’m just a huge, huge married children guy. I love Al Bundy, the way he was rude to people, the way he was funny to people. That would not work today, in my opinion, but that’s what people really know about me now, because I’m a huge married children fan.
Nick McGowan (01:14.867)
Yeah.
Nick McGowan (01:19.315)
Ha ha ha!
Nick McGowan (01:34.291)
That’s funny, man. I mean, if we really break down married with children, how the fuck did he have that house by selling shoes to women? Like he basically worked at like a footlocker or whatever, like payless.
Marques Ogden (01:41.168)
That’s right. That’s right. And then he had Peg who was spending all this money. Then he had Kelly who was doing who knows what. He had Bud who was like the pervert of his time, you know, in that regard. So yeah, man, I mean, it was, again, love the show, love, you know, love everything about it. My dad used to watch all time on Fox, you know, so yeah, man, I’m all about that. So huge, huge Mayweer Children.
Nick McGowan (02:03.539)
Yeah.
Nick McGowan (02:07.283)
That’s awesome, man. That’s that is that that is kind of a random one, but that’s a good one, because I think there’s a lot to that. Like we as 80s and 90s babies grew up with shit like that. And that’s I think of Ed O ‘Neill sitting on the couch with his hand half down his pants, just like, oh, fucking what am I going to do now?
Marques Ogden (02:24.656)
What’s funny, Nick, is that I didn’t know is he was, he played at Youngstown State, DN, and he actually had a tryout with the Pittsburgh Steelers. So he actually was, you know, a great football player in college, DN, and had a, but again, unfortunately for him at that time, they had like me and Joe Green, LC Green, women, like they have, they have the fearsome, you know, the fearsome foursome. So it was not going to really work for him to get on that team, but.
Nick McGowan (02:38.227)
the
Nick McGowan (02:49.748)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (02:51.6)
He did have a tryout. So again, I think that’s also awesome. I found that probably think about maybe about a year ago. I found that I read that somewhere.
Nick McGowan (02:59.507)
Oh, wow. That’s, that’s cool. Isn’t that so interesting when you find out different little pieces about those characters or the actor or actresses? Like I remember learning that Peg was the voice in Futurama. I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. But just what a cool thing. So let’s talk about the tryouts because Ed O ‘Neill had tryouts and he didn’t make it, but dude, you got into the NFL. You were actually in there for a little bit. So let’s tell us a little bit about that.
Marques Ogden (03:12.112)
Wow, I didn’t realize that.
Nick McGowan (03:29.171)
because I want to talk about, I know we’re going to get into authenticity and how you can live an authentic life. But I think a part of that is what your story is involved. So NFL is a part of that. But why don’t you take us a little bit further back. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and what led you to where you are.
Marques Ogden (03:45.072)
So I’m from Washington, DC originally. I went to St. John’s College High School, the same high school that Kevin Plank, who was one of the main co -founders of Under Armour, went to. From there, I got one scholarship offer to play football for the Howard University Bison in Washington, DC. My dad is a Howard Bison grad. As a matter of fact, Nick, our dad, my brother Jonathan, and played in the NFL, first round draft pick, first battle held in with the Baltimore Ravens. Our dad…
Nick McGowan (03:56.307)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (04:14.512)
was the first class to get athletic scholarships to Howard to play sports. And he played football. He was a D tackle on the bison in the 1970s. Well, yeah, 70, 71, 72. So for me going to Howard, going, I’m like, oh, you know, I got one off or hey, if I could play a year or two, that’d be great. You know, could I get, I didn’t really, when I left high school, I was six foot three. Then I got to college, I was almost six foot six. I grew.
between high school and college. And I became a four year starter for the Bison, had great experiences. I was drafted to the National Football League by Jack Del Rio, who was a rookie head coach himself for the Jacksonville Jaguars. And I tell you what, man, I love the NFL. I mean, was it work? You better believe it. It was hard. Did you have to master and have self mastery of discipline and show up daily and…
not complain and get your work done. Yep. Damn right. And that’s what really has made me successful where I’m at today as a speaker, as a coach. I’ll tell you what, Nick, I’ve gone through hell on earth. I’ve gone through bankruptcy. I’ve gone through losing it all. I had to start over. I have been divorced. That’s not that long ago. Had to start over again. Mounts of debt. You name it, brother. I’ve seen it.
Nick McGowan (05:13.523)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (05:37.84)
And so what really has gotten me there has just been self mastery and doing things that I know I have to do that most people don’t want to do. So again, the NFL was phenomenal, man. I got a lot of great knowledge. I’ll tell your audience the same thing. Jack Del Rio told us when I was a 22 year old rookie in 2003 for the Jaguars. If you want to be successful in life, be your own CEO.
Jack said, do not wait for me, the Jaguar coaches, people in the front office. This is who’s talking to the entire rookie class, drafted and undrafted. Don’t wait for us to tell you where to be, where to go. Get somewhere early, stay late. I mean, that’s what helped me have almost a six year career, right? Being in the NFL, I was always one of the early persons in the locker room, in the facility. I remember one year was my rookie year and my online coach said, Marcus.
Do you ever leave the building? I said, no, cause I wasn’t married. I had no children. So I was all about football. And I said, coach, no, no, I don’t. I said, I’m here. I’m going to give my all. I want to have the best chance to make this team play and contribute as a rookie. And I’m still today, Nick, still today, the only offensive lineman ever drafted from Highland University National Football League. I’m in the Hall of Fame.
Nick McGowan (06:42.771)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (07:05.584)
along with my dad, was the only father and son duo in Howard’s Athletic Hall of Fame. So again, a lot of great lessons in the NFL, played against some great guys like Albert Hainsworth to guys I played with like Fred Taylor, I played with my brother, I played against guys like Ray Lewis, I played against guys like Ed Reed, you know, and I learned that if you want to be great at your crap, you better master.
Nick McGowan (07:24.051)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (07:35.504)
discipline, and you better outwork everybody in that building. People say, well, it’s all about talent. Talent is part of it. But if you want to be great in sports, if you want to be great in life, you have to have that demeanor. You’re going to outwork in what I like to call junkyard dogging over anybody else. Because if you don’t junkyard dogg it, somebody else is going to end up junkyard dogging you.
Nick McGowan (08:07.124)
It’s interesting to think about the amount of detail and amount of work that you would have to put into to get into any sort of professional league. Like I remember hearing a few years ago that there has only been maybe 4500 people that have gotten into the NBA. I don’t know what that number looks like in the NFL or MLB or MLS or anything like that. But just thinking a small amount of people that actually make it. I remember being a little kid and telling people like I want to be a rock star and the people that would naysay and be like, well, there’s only
like half a percent that actually gets to it. I, fortunately or unfortunately was not one of those people that got to that point. Um, but for you to be able to get to the point where you’ve gotten to, I think there are similarities that people can look at because everybody’s purpose and their calling is different. Some people think that their purpose or calling needs to be this huge fucking thing, like creating Apple or creating Microsoft or something like that. Where it could be is just, you need to be a dad or you need to work within the sphere that you have.
Marques Ogden (08:55.6)
Hello?
Nick McGowan (09:04.083)
But there’s also that culture that I feel like people are starting to actually see for what it is and start to step away from the bullshit hustle culture. And what you’re talking about is different than that. But I want us to go down that path because when you’re working on something that you feel deeply passionate and called to do, you’re not hustling, you’re doing the work and you’re, you’re actually working within it. But what sort of advice do you give somebody that is trying to figure out how do they do it within what they’re doing?
without falling into that line where they’re just grinding and they’re hustling and they’re really just fucking killing themselves.
Marques Ogden (09:37.584)
Well, here’s what I tell people, right? I took a note of this, and I love talking about this for not just on this podcast, but when I interview other people. At the end of the day, right, you need to grind. You need to really be inspired. Or what Aristotle said is for you to be passionate about what you’re doing, right? And if you’re not excited about it, if you’re not overjoyed about it, if you’re not fulfilled in it,
It’s not going to last. Just like me, right, Nick? I had an eight figure a year construction company in Baltimore in my late 20s, early 30s. But in reality, right, Nick? I didn’t want to do construction. I was chasing money. I was chasing fame. And again, what happens is when you start living like that, what happens is, right, Nick, you start pursuing things for the wrong reason.
And then usually what happens is you lose your focus. You lose your ability to understand right and wrong, how it comes to treating people, how it comes to like why you started in the first place. And that’s exactly what happened to me with Kaden started a small concrete demolition company in 2008 during the crisis, but we were into the commercial space. So we were doing okay, grew it. And then by 2011,
We were the largest African -American -owned subcontractor in the scope of work, what we call earthwork, or you can call it grading or excavation, whatever you want to call it. And we crushed it, and we did phenomenal things. But unfortunately, right, Nick, my attitude, my ego got really, really focused on money and fame and notoriety. And like you said, I was pursuing
grinding for the wrong reasons. And because of that, I ended up treating people like crap. I stopped listening. I stopped caring about what everybody thought except for me and my partner, my best people left. Then that was the really big job where I spent about $3 million of my money over budget. And because I was so arrogant, because I was so self -centered, I’m like, oh, they’re going to take care of me. I’m their minority contractor. They wouldn’t do anything to me. Yeah.
Marques Ogden (12:00.56)
No, and I tell my clients all the time, dot your I’s, cross your T’s, every job stands alone. Do not think because you did something for somebody else prior, it’s going to end up going forward in that direction. So that’s what happened. And I ended up losing everything in 2013 because I was grinding after the wrong thing.
Nick McGowan (12:30.227)
Well, think about the system that we’re raised in. You know, you’re taught, especially us, and I guess the people that were born within five, maybe 10 years, something like that of us, before and after, we were all taught like you have to go to school, you go to college, you get a good job. You were fortunate to be able to get into an elite position within the NFL. And then you were still in the spot. And I could imagine there’s probably countless stories of people that just blew their money.
Had no idea what the fuck was going on. They’re 25 and going, well, fuck them out of the league. What do I do now? You were able to transition into a company, but you still went after the money and here you are able to talk about it. And I think it’s synonymous. Doesn’t matter if you go to college, didn’t you get a job or you go to college, you get in the NFL or you don’t go to college. We are still taught within that system. They’d be able to do these things and that it should look a certain way. And that takes us away from being able to actually do the things that.
Marques Ogden (13:03.216)
Mm -hmm.
Nick McGowan (13:29.267)
fulfill us and make us passionate and excited about it. So you’ve learned all this stuff. You’ve gone through this. You work with clients now. Get real with us. What does that look like for you when you sit back and like reflect on those and go, man, some of the key things that I really took away from that that I do differently now are these.
Marques Ogden (13:47.632)
So now when success comes our way, I can handle it. Versus before, I have a saying, if you can’t handle success, success will hand you your ass. And that’s what it did to me. It handed me my ass. And now I’m very much so that my clients, as they amass success, that success won’t hand them their ass.
I’m all about, hey, learn from me. I started speaking for this reason, right Nick? I started speaking to help others succeed where I failed. So I like to reflect on all the things that I’ve gone through in life. I like to reflect on what has made me who I am today. I like to reflect on the fact that I remember in 2013 when I started speaking after my rock bottom moment as a custodian with somebody’s trash and rotten meat.
and nasty garbage got with my body, right Nick? That today I’m blessed to have all these great speaking clients. Like I’m heading to Boston in May for Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation. I’m going to DC for them. I’ve got a job with them in fall here in Raleigh. I’ll go back to for them a job in Baltimore in October. I got to go to Atlanta.
this month for a big job on a weekend for a big client, high speed Alliance. I just got booked to work for one of my big clients now, WSFS Bank, doing a job with them for their people, right? A full days of work, right? I’m going to New York in May, gotta go back to Boston in May, right? All these things. And I tell everybody, I’m also the guy that for two and a half years got nothing but free jobs and was told no on every.
paid job I went after. So don’t think, oh, you’re a football guy and then you’re an NFL guy. I’m like, that has nothing to do with speaking. If you don’t have the ability to tell stories and align stories to a theme of what that event is, like for example, I’m doing a talk for a fairway mortgage, for a fairway independent mortgage corporation, May 9th in Boston. The theme is elevate.
Nick McGowan (15:48.531)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (16:05.84)
where I’m going to be focusing on how to create and sustain a breakable mindset and how to elevate your customer experience skillsets as a realtor to be able to connect with prospective clients and then have a deeper connection with existing clients. People think customer experience is the same as customer service. It is not. Customer service is when something goes wrong, you try to fix it.
customer experience is how you treat somebody from the beginning of the sales process to the end when it’s concluded. And when you’re in real estate and you’re a realtor, if you don’t give people excellent customer experience, they will find somebody else. Why? Because everybody and their mama wants to be a realtor. And I’ll tell you what, they think it’s easy, the hell it is, right? But again, this is what I’m gonna be talking about, right? How to connect with people, you know, how to have innovation, right? How to have…
Nick McGowan (16:50.931)
Ha ha ha.
Marques Ogden (17:01.616)
great sense making skill sets, how to really relate to people, how to create a vision, right? How to help your people see that you’re working with whatever they want, you can help solve their problem. But again, mindset, because again, as interest rates kind of go up and down and all around, as inventory gets low, as it’s hard because you have to go through, sometimes you’re competing against three, four, sometimes five buyers, not as bad as it was.
you know, probably back in 2021, it was like 3 .25 % interest rate, but it’s still competitive. And so if you think it’s gonna get up there, say, here I am, here I am, hire me on the next realtor. Yeah, no, it’s not gonna happen that way. So again, I’m gonna talk about how you have the right mindset. It allows you to elevate. And these are about 500 realtors that are coming from all across the Northeast and the Northeast and the Southeast.
that do work with Fairway Independent Moral Corporation and I’m gonna help to inspire them. I think there’s six speakers that are gonna be there. So again, it all plays into that level.
Nick McGowan (18:14.643)
Cool thing that you told me about that, about not only that position that you’re in to be able to have those speaking engagements, but the realtors specifically. In a previous life, I had worked with realtors in two different companies, one of my own and one company I worked with, and probably close to seven, 8 ,000 realtors over the course of seven, eight years, something like that.
And it was interesting to be able to see the dynamics of some of these people and how some of them understand that they are truly in the people business. They’re not in the house business and how other people look at them as units and they would actually call them units. And they weren’t talking about the units of the house or how many units were in an apartment building. They were talking of the units that they were selling to. And I remember seeing the ones that were really successful that almost seemed to do things backward. They were putting the people first rather than the inventory first and what have you.
And there it’s, I don’t want to say it’s easy to get a real estate license. I don’t have one. I’ve never tried, but it seemed like they were at different points. I would talk to some people where it was like Walmart was handing these licenses out to people and they were like, come on in. You want to be a real estate agent? But I think the key thing with what you were saying is about being authentic. And if that’s your jam, like I’ve got a good friend of mine who I’ve known since high school, he’s a real estate agent.
It’s a part -time gig for what he does and it’s becoming a full -time. At this point, it might be. I haven’t talked to him in maybe six, seven months, but I know he’s deeply passionate about actually helping the people. And that’s why he’s in it. Other people look at it as, I just want to make money. And if it’s real estate or if it’s anything else, it’s people are going after the money. Back to even 2020, so many people became a coach or so many people tried to become a web developer or graphic designer because they were trying to go after the money.
We saw a lot of those people drop off. Shit, even the people that have podcasts, you and I’ve had podcasts for a while. There’s, you know, how many people don’t actually get past their first, let alone how many people don’t actually get past their fifth or their 10th, let alone the milestone of a hundred. So it’s being passionate about this stuff. So if we kind of extract from that, what sort of things have you learned where you’re like, wow, this really lines up for me. And this is why I care so much that you do.
Nick McGowan (20:31.539)
speak to that when you talk to these people, maybe not in a group session, but when you get one -on -one with them, what are the things that you can kind of really line out? Because this podcast right now, though there’s a large audience that listens to it, you’re really just speaking one -to -one, you know? So speak to that.
Marques Ogden (20:43.92)
So, so I tell people if I’m talking to them one to one or one on one, if you want to be great, figure out what you do best and then start to build from there. Don’t try to figure out what you don’t do well and fix that, which is fine. Eventually you will. But if you want to start out doing something, if you want to start out trying to grow something, figure out what you do well and build from there and elevate from there.
That’s going to help to move you from A to Z to get all the way where you want to go. I tell my clients all the time on our first call, what are the three strengths that you have? Great. What are the three things you want to improve on the next six months or nine months or 12 months? Great. But I always start with your great act because in society, like you say, it’s backwards. I have to say, well, what do you want to work on? Okay, what are you good at? Well, then when you talk about something you want to work on,
I believe their frame of mind is not gonna be as positive and really sometimes really, really lean into their strengths because they’re thinking about what they really don’t do well. So I’m a big believer in getting people to understand what they do well and then help them build out from there. This way they are not starting out in a negative mindset or a fixed mindset.
Nick McGowan (21:54.195)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (22:09.616)
And this where they’re actually looking at what they really possess. For example, when I got divorced in 2020, I got divorced July, 2022, I was forced to live in the house with my soon to be ex from July, 2022 to November 1st, 2022. Because talk about self -discipline and mastery. If I would have moved out.
I would have lost rights potentially to my daughters, my stepdaughter and my nine year old daughter. And I could have lost rights to the house, but she could have kicked me out. And then I would have been, had to like go through the whole process and all that. So my lawyer said, Marcus, I know you don’t like it, but you can talk about mastering self -discipline for six months, no physical contact with any female, not including my, including my ex. Cause we were just past that one and I’m good.
But like I said, I had to master that. Cause my lawyer said, if you get caught with someone else, even though we’re starting this, you don’t have a divorce decree, a temporary agreement in place. And she can say that that had been going on before her quote unquote stuff that I caught her doing, which would have thrown everything out. And then I could have ended up having to pay alimony and all that type of stuff.
I only pay child support. I know we have 50 -50 custody. I pay child support to take care of my daughter when she’s with her. And I take care of my daughter when she’s with me. But my attorney said if you end up frat -nothin’ with a woman and it’s caught by your ex, you could lose the position that you have waited for in this case, and it can all go out the window. So I had to stay in her house for that long with no type of physical intimacy, anything from a female.
and all. And I had to move into an apartment for seven and a half months. I was depressed. I was feeling bad for the first two and a half months. It was like Thanksgiving. I had my daughter, my stepdaughter, she was off to college. Christmas, we had to split holidays with that. I had to move into an apartment that was not her square foot, that was two bedroom, two bathroom, only two windows in the whole place. Dark, dingy.
Nick McGowan (24:19.123)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (24:29.296)
outdated furniture, you name it. And you talk about mastering, you talk about why I think about positivity. When I started to finally visualize, right Nick, what I wanted for myself, I wanted a home that knew what it looked like, absolutely not. I wanted to be out of that apartment. I wanted to give Farrah, my daughter, a place to grow up and she could be proud of. Not going somewhere where it’s like going up three flights of steps and it was like.
felt like I was going to a horror movie from the 80s and like didn’t know if I was gonna like make it down, you know, from the cliff back to the room and all this stuff. I didn’t want that for her. So I said, I gotta work on it. I gotta get going. So I visualized, right? And visualizing, leading to where I was good at. Then I found out I could buy a home, put money down. And then Nick, I thought I had a bunch of tax debt that I had to take care of almost $90 ,000. I had to pay a portion of that down to be able to then –
qualified and I had to put another $25 ,000 down to get the house. Oh, and another $50 ,000 to pay my team throughout that time and my bills. So for two days after I put them in my deposit, I panicked my butt off because my, well, how am I gonna get this done? And I just sat there and I focused on what I was good at. I had a brand, I had a name, I had a podcast. I found ways to grow.
Nick McGowan (25:41.939)
I bet.
Marques Ogden (25:54.096)
other forms of revenue outside of just podcasting. I found ways to do healthy with PR other needs, right Nick? And I was able to pay that debt down by $40 ,000. I was able to put down the money to get into the house. I was able to take care of my team and do what I had to do. Right, again, you heard me say take care of my team, because not just about me, it’s about us. And my point is I moved into my brand new home May 15th, 2023.
Next month will be a year. And again, a year ago, Nick, I was just in a really, really tight spot, right? Year, let’s say, 14, let’s say 15 months ago, it was tight. 18 months ago, it was a nightmare. If you’re listening to this awesome podcast, master what you are good at. That’s what I did. And when I did that, I got out of the situation. So now I have a 3 ,100 square foot home that I live in.
Nick McGowan (26:40.883)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (26:53.232)
That’s my dream home that my daughter and I, and when my stepdaughter comes home from college, she has her room. Right? I bought this by myself as an entrepreneur, not a W -2 employee, in a time, right, Nick, where everybody is like scrutinizing, looking at everything from the, you know how hard that is, it’s about to buy a home, you know, it’s a non -W -2 employee. My point is, when you focus on what you’re good at, everything else will fade away.
And then from there, build and then just master self -discipline and stick to your routine. Don’t labor, don’t falter, don’t go off track. Everything else will take care of itself.
Nick McGowan (27:39.155)
Yeah, there’s that power that’s within that. I got a divorce about a year before you did. Wasn’t in that spot that you were in. I don’t have any kids, didn’t have any kids, none of that sort of stuff. Didn’t have to live with her for that amount of time. In fact, I remember being like, all right, well, it’s going to take you three weeks to get out of here, so I’m going to go away for four weeks. And I’ll just go stay somewhere else. You do what you need to do and be able to get out. But no matter what, if you’re in that spot where you’re in a really tight spot,
having to stay there and kids and all these other things. Even if somebody’s listening to this and they’re like, well, I didn’t go through that. I went through more of what Nick did or they’re somewhere in the middle, whatever. There’s still that piece that happens once we actually make the decision. Either the decision to do the thing, like get the divorce or the decision to move along or to try to make it work or whatever. But there was a decision that was made where it was like, all right, I have what I have in front of me. I get to do something with this.
What do I want to do with this? And that sounds like that’s kind of the moral of the story of it. No matter what’s happening, whatever position you’re in, you get to do something with that. And it’s the choice to be able to do it. You and I are in the same elk when it comes to finding that discipline, the thing that works for you and continuing to do it. That’s difficult to do. But as you do more of it, I don’t think it becomes easier. It just becomes more ingrained. And it’s more of what you do when you start to see things open up. And I’m glad that you pointed out that
Things started to change once you looked at that. Cause a lot of people can look at what are the things you’d want to do? What do you not want to do? I put together a list of the things that I no longer accepted than the things that I was going to accept more of and being able to figure out what happens from here. So I’m glad that you brought that up and I’m sorry that you went through that, but I’m glad that you went through it. People that haven’t gone through a divorce. I don’t want to wish that upon them, but that is a different level of learning who you are and what you’re about.
And it can also open up a lot of previous things. So were there things that you had to change within yourself or look directly at yourself and go, wow, this stuff happened to me when I was a little kid or when I was younger that led to the demise of this thing.
Marques Ogden (29:46.512)
So my parents got divorced when I was eight. I met my stepdaughter when she was eight. I started the divorce process from my ex with my daughter, Farrah, was eight. And my parents got divorced in 1988. Tons of eights, right? And what I realized is that when I was growing up, I looked at things from a victim perspective, younger as a young person.
And today, what I realized is when I was going through that tough time November, December, the first half of January of 2023, November of 2022, December 2022, the first half of January 2023, I was in a victim mindset, victim mindset. And now I’m in a victor mindset. So I look at things as an opportunity to get better. I look at things as an opportunity to shine.
Look at things as opportunity to really move past difficulty, hardships, you know, struggles, adversity. So now in my work as a speaker, coach, consultant, podcaster, bring on great podcasts like this. I’m always saying, well, yeah, how can I turn any type of bad situation to a good one? And I’ve learned to do that. And because of that, I’ve learned how to get better at my craft. We’re much busier. We built.
great systems, we continue to build great systems, we got great people around us, we have different things that we’re doing. It’s a lot of work, but at the end of the day, right, man, you know, if it’s not worth working for, then why bother having it? So again, I was a young person growing up. I used to always look at things from a victim mindset. And now I really realized after my divorce and starting to say, you know what, I’m not going to live like this.
I now have turned that from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.
Nick McGowan (31:45.043)
And look, I’m all about mindset, however, and I’ve gotten questions about this from people. It’s not, you can’t just mindset your way through life. You can’t. It’s a part of it. And it’s a major part of it. But there’s also work that needs to be done. And from what I’m understanding from you and maybe reading between the lines, it’s not about bypassing. And that’s one of the big things we talk about on this, on the show, you’re not bypassing the things you’re actually doing the work, you’re healing the stuff and continuing to work from there.
Marques Ogden (31:55.856)
Hmm?
Nick McGowan (32:13.395)
What sort of work did you do to be able to actually go through like deep processing work or any acupressure sessions or therapy, things of that sort that you found that really worked for you?
Marques Ogden (32:22.96)
Great question, Nick. I’ve been in therapy on and off my whole life. When my parents got divorced in 1988, my dad put me in therapy. And I have been in therapy every week or every other week since June of 2022. When I was trying to save my marriage, I got into therapy. We went to two sessions together. She didn’t want to go. And my therapist, who I still see the same therapist to this day, he said, Marcus, I could tell that you wanted to be here.
And I can tell, I could tell, excuse me, that she didn’t want to be here. And so, and he was right. And so now in my life, right Nick, every week or every other two weeks, depending upon his schedule and mine, we meet in person. And when I tried to sign up with him back in June of 2022, it was so booked. The NFL is amazing. They actually pay for our therapy. He was so booked, right? Well, sorry, the area was so booked.
Nick McGowan (33:16.851)
Nice.
Marques Ogden (33:20.144)
Durham, Cary, everywhere. There was a two month wait list. He was the only person open. It was a 45 to 50 minute drive each way. And I said, you know what? I’m in. And still to this, even though I bought my home and I’m just so grateful for that, right Nick? It’s still about a 45 to 50 minute drive each way to see him. And I make it every week or every other week. And again, that’s the work that I’ve done. I’m continuing to do work.
to go from victim to victor. So the therapy with aid and it’s actually animal assisted therapy and he has a dog, Ob, who’s the best. Because of that animal assisted therapy I’ve been in since June, 2022, it has changed my life to go from victim to victor.
Nick McGowan (34:00.083)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (34:08.528)
Thank you.
Nick McGowan (34:09.331)
I love that. And especially if you get to hang out with a pup, you can’t go wrong. Man, it’s been awesome to have you on the show. I want to make sure that we get to this. What’s that one piece of advice you’d give to somebody that’s on their path towards self -mastery?
Marques Ogden (34:24.016)
Now ask her what you know you are good at and don’t worry about what you’re not good at. Should you pay attention to it? Yes, but don’t sit there and ponder on it. Don’t sit there and dwell on it. Don’t sit there and be like, you know, negative Nancy on it. Don’t do that. Cause what happens is you start to think, well, am I good enough? I mean, I have clients like that and they drive me crazy. And I always tell them, look, don’t tell me, well, I have…
having posture syndrome. Why? Well, because why, well, who’s gonna listen to me if I go in coach? Well, who, I’m like, well, look, nobody, if you don’t go and do it, right? You can’t think like that. And I get it, cause I was there. But I’m like, look, if you keep thinking like that, you’re never gonna move past and get to the other side. Right? I tell everybody, one of my favorite movies is the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy and Toto had to go through a twister, tornado, whatever you wanna call it, to get to Munchkin Land, where it was.
Nick McGowan (35:02.067)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (35:19.888)
Yellow brick road, blue skies, and flowers, and pink, and pretty, and nice, all these things. Life’s the same way. You got to go through the crap to get to the other side. I took it all the time. The brightest rainbows come after the darkest thunderstorms. So again, if you’re listening, master what you are good at. Build from there, and then let everything else take its time and take its course.
Nick McGowan (35:20.787)
Hmm
Nick McGowan (35:49.107)
great way to put that and well done with the Wizard of Oz reference because sometimes you do need to deal with a witch. It happens. Man, I appreciate you being on. It’s been awesome to connect with you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you?
Marques Ogden (36:05.552)
Great question, Nick. We have an app, the Marcus Ogden app. You have an Android phone or an Apple phone. Go to your app store and type in my name, Marcus, M -A -R -Q -U -E -S, Ogden, O -G -D -E -N. You can download the app. It’s free, great source of content, inspirational videos, you name it. You can go to our website, marcusogden .com. You can go to our 360 page, marcus360 .com, or shoot me an email.
Marcus at MarcusAugden .com.
Nick McGowan (36:39.347)
Awesome. And thank you so much for being on the show today, Marcus. It’s been a pleasure.
Marques Ogden (36:42.704)
Great, Nick, thanks a lot, my friend.
https://youtu.be/WiD_K1a54Vg
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By Nick McGowan“If you want to be successful in life, be your own CEO.”
In this episode, Nick speaks with Marques Ogden, a former NFL player turned speaker and coach, and shares his journey from the NFL to bankruptcy and divorce and how he rebuilt his life. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on your strengths and building from there rather than dwelling on your weaknesses. Marques also highlights the significance of mindset and self-discipline in achieving success and overcoming adversity. He shares his personal experience with therapy and the transformation from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.
What to listen for:
“You need to really be inspired, or what Aristotle said is for you to be passionate about what you’re doing.”
“Master what you are good at. Build from there, and then let everything else take its time and take its course.”
“I used to always look at things from a victim mindset. And now I really realized after my divorce and starting to say, you know what, I’m not going to live like this. I now have turned that from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.”
About Marques Ogden
Marques Ogden is a former NFL player turned inspirational speaker, author, and entrepreneur. He is the founder and CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC, a media and entertainment company that specializes in keynote speaking, business coaching, and consulting.
Ogden is a three-time best-selling author and the host of the podcast “Get Authentic with Marques Ogden.” In his speaking engagements, Marques leads his audiences to understand why “Authenticity Creates Victory” by sharing his personal story of overcoming adversity and achieving success. Marques is on a mission to inspire CEOs and other senior leaders to maximize their potential to reach their personal and professional goals.
Resources:
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Click Here To View The Episode Transcript
Nick McGowan (00:04.403)
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self -Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show, I have Marcus Ogden. Marcus, how are you doing today?
Marques Ogden (00:11.44)
I’m doing well, Nick. How you doing today, my friend?
Nick McGowan (00:16.851)
I’m good, man. I’m excited that you’re on. I had a guest on the show maybe a year ago at this point, who’s a buddy of yours, business partner of yours. And I always love when I get referrals from somebody who’s already been on the show, because I know that I can trust them. You know, you can’t go wrong with referrals and repeats in business anyway. But to hand off somebody like you, we’ve already started to have a good conversation. So I’m excited to get this thing started. So why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living. And what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre?
Marques Ogden (00:46.)
Great question, Nick. So I am a national international keynote speaker, business coach, business consultant, podcast host, business owner. I’m a brand ambassador for brands that I believe in and align with my values in the best of our brands. What people don’t know about me, that my favorite show growing up, and again, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell it would last today on the network, is Mary with Children. Huge, huge Al Bundy fan.
Nick McGowan (01:12.403)
Cool.
Marques Ogden (01:14.)
I’m all about Al Bundy, I’m all about Peg, and all that kind of stuff. So for me, man, I’m just a huge, huge married children guy. I love Al Bundy, the way he was rude to people, the way he was funny to people. That would not work today, in my opinion, but that’s what people really know about me now, because I’m a huge married children fan.
Nick McGowan (01:14.867)
Yeah.
Nick McGowan (01:19.315)
Ha ha ha!
Nick McGowan (01:34.291)
That’s funny, man. I mean, if we really break down married with children, how the fuck did he have that house by selling shoes to women? Like he basically worked at like a footlocker or whatever, like payless.
Marques Ogden (01:41.168)
That’s right. That’s right. And then he had Peg who was spending all this money. Then he had Kelly who was doing who knows what. He had Bud who was like the pervert of his time, you know, in that regard. So yeah, man, I mean, it was, again, love the show, love, you know, love everything about it. My dad used to watch all time on Fox, you know, so yeah, man, I’m all about that. So huge, huge Mayweer Children.
Nick McGowan (02:03.539)
Yeah.
Nick McGowan (02:07.283)
That’s awesome, man. That’s that is that that is kind of a random one, but that’s a good one, because I think there’s a lot to that. Like we as 80s and 90s babies grew up with shit like that. And that’s I think of Ed O ‘Neill sitting on the couch with his hand half down his pants, just like, oh, fucking what am I going to do now?
Marques Ogden (02:24.656)
What’s funny, Nick, is that I didn’t know is he was, he played at Youngstown State, DN, and he actually had a tryout with the Pittsburgh Steelers. So he actually was, you know, a great football player in college, DN, and had a, but again, unfortunately for him at that time, they had like me and Joe Green, LC Green, women, like they have, they have the fearsome, you know, the fearsome foursome. So it was not going to really work for him to get on that team, but.
Nick McGowan (02:38.227)
the
Nick McGowan (02:49.748)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (02:51.6)
He did have a tryout. So again, I think that’s also awesome. I found that probably think about maybe about a year ago. I found that I read that somewhere.
Nick McGowan (02:59.507)
Oh, wow. That’s, that’s cool. Isn’t that so interesting when you find out different little pieces about those characters or the actor or actresses? Like I remember learning that Peg was the voice in Futurama. I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. But just what a cool thing. So let’s talk about the tryouts because Ed O ‘Neill had tryouts and he didn’t make it, but dude, you got into the NFL. You were actually in there for a little bit. So let’s tell us a little bit about that.
Marques Ogden (03:12.112)
Wow, I didn’t realize that.
Nick McGowan (03:29.171)
because I want to talk about, I know we’re going to get into authenticity and how you can live an authentic life. But I think a part of that is what your story is involved. So NFL is a part of that. But why don’t you take us a little bit further back. Tell us a little bit about your childhood and what led you to where you are.
Marques Ogden (03:45.072)
So I’m from Washington, DC originally. I went to St. John’s College High School, the same high school that Kevin Plank, who was one of the main co -founders of Under Armour, went to. From there, I got one scholarship offer to play football for the Howard University Bison in Washington, DC. My dad is a Howard Bison grad. As a matter of fact, Nick, our dad, my brother Jonathan, and played in the NFL, first round draft pick, first battle held in with the Baltimore Ravens. Our dad…
Nick McGowan (03:56.307)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (04:14.512)
was the first class to get athletic scholarships to Howard to play sports. And he played football. He was a D tackle on the bison in the 1970s. Well, yeah, 70, 71, 72. So for me going to Howard, going, I’m like, oh, you know, I got one off or hey, if I could play a year or two, that’d be great. You know, could I get, I didn’t really, when I left high school, I was six foot three. Then I got to college, I was almost six foot six. I grew.
between high school and college. And I became a four year starter for the Bison, had great experiences. I was drafted to the National Football League by Jack Del Rio, who was a rookie head coach himself for the Jacksonville Jaguars. And I tell you what, man, I love the NFL. I mean, was it work? You better believe it. It was hard. Did you have to master and have self mastery of discipline and show up daily and…
not complain and get your work done. Yep. Damn right. And that’s what really has made me successful where I’m at today as a speaker, as a coach. I’ll tell you what, Nick, I’ve gone through hell on earth. I’ve gone through bankruptcy. I’ve gone through losing it all. I had to start over. I have been divorced. That’s not that long ago. Had to start over again. Mounts of debt. You name it, brother. I’ve seen it.
Nick McGowan (05:13.523)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (05:37.84)
And so what really has gotten me there has just been self mastery and doing things that I know I have to do that most people don’t want to do. So again, the NFL was phenomenal, man. I got a lot of great knowledge. I’ll tell your audience the same thing. Jack Del Rio told us when I was a 22 year old rookie in 2003 for the Jaguars. If you want to be successful in life, be your own CEO.
Jack said, do not wait for me, the Jaguar coaches, people in the front office. This is who’s talking to the entire rookie class, drafted and undrafted. Don’t wait for us to tell you where to be, where to go. Get somewhere early, stay late. I mean, that’s what helped me have almost a six year career, right? Being in the NFL, I was always one of the early persons in the locker room, in the facility. I remember one year was my rookie year and my online coach said, Marcus.
Do you ever leave the building? I said, no, cause I wasn’t married. I had no children. So I was all about football. And I said, coach, no, no, I don’t. I said, I’m here. I’m going to give my all. I want to have the best chance to make this team play and contribute as a rookie. And I’m still today, Nick, still today, the only offensive lineman ever drafted from Highland University National Football League. I’m in the Hall of Fame.
Nick McGowan (06:42.771)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (07:05.584)
along with my dad, was the only father and son duo in Howard’s Athletic Hall of Fame. So again, a lot of great lessons in the NFL, played against some great guys like Albert Hainsworth to guys I played with like Fred Taylor, I played with my brother, I played against guys like Ray Lewis, I played against guys like Ed Reed, you know, and I learned that if you want to be great at your crap, you better master.
Nick McGowan (07:24.051)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (07:35.504)
discipline, and you better outwork everybody in that building. People say, well, it’s all about talent. Talent is part of it. But if you want to be great in sports, if you want to be great in life, you have to have that demeanor. You’re going to outwork in what I like to call junkyard dogging over anybody else. Because if you don’t junkyard dogg it, somebody else is going to end up junkyard dogging you.
Nick McGowan (08:07.124)
It’s interesting to think about the amount of detail and amount of work that you would have to put into to get into any sort of professional league. Like I remember hearing a few years ago that there has only been maybe 4500 people that have gotten into the NBA. I don’t know what that number looks like in the NFL or MLB or MLS or anything like that. But just thinking a small amount of people that actually make it. I remember being a little kid and telling people like I want to be a rock star and the people that would naysay and be like, well, there’s only
like half a percent that actually gets to it. I, fortunately or unfortunately was not one of those people that got to that point. Um, but for you to be able to get to the point where you’ve gotten to, I think there are similarities that people can look at because everybody’s purpose and their calling is different. Some people think that their purpose or calling needs to be this huge fucking thing, like creating Apple or creating Microsoft or something like that. Where it could be is just, you need to be a dad or you need to work within the sphere that you have.
Marques Ogden (08:55.6)
Hello?
Nick McGowan (09:04.083)
But there’s also that culture that I feel like people are starting to actually see for what it is and start to step away from the bullshit hustle culture. And what you’re talking about is different than that. But I want us to go down that path because when you’re working on something that you feel deeply passionate and called to do, you’re not hustling, you’re doing the work and you’re, you’re actually working within it. But what sort of advice do you give somebody that is trying to figure out how do they do it within what they’re doing?
without falling into that line where they’re just grinding and they’re hustling and they’re really just fucking killing themselves.
Marques Ogden (09:37.584)
Well, here’s what I tell people, right? I took a note of this, and I love talking about this for not just on this podcast, but when I interview other people. At the end of the day, right, you need to grind. You need to really be inspired. Or what Aristotle said is for you to be passionate about what you’re doing, right? And if you’re not excited about it, if you’re not overjoyed about it, if you’re not fulfilled in it,
It’s not going to last. Just like me, right, Nick? I had an eight figure a year construction company in Baltimore in my late 20s, early 30s. But in reality, right, Nick? I didn’t want to do construction. I was chasing money. I was chasing fame. And again, what happens is when you start living like that, what happens is, right, Nick, you start pursuing things for the wrong reason.
And then usually what happens is you lose your focus. You lose your ability to understand right and wrong, how it comes to treating people, how it comes to like why you started in the first place. And that’s exactly what happened to me with Kaden started a small concrete demolition company in 2008 during the crisis, but we were into the commercial space. So we were doing okay, grew it. And then by 2011,
We were the largest African -American -owned subcontractor in the scope of work, what we call earthwork, or you can call it grading or excavation, whatever you want to call it. And we crushed it, and we did phenomenal things. But unfortunately, right, Nick, my attitude, my ego got really, really focused on money and fame and notoriety. And like you said, I was pursuing
grinding for the wrong reasons. And because of that, I ended up treating people like crap. I stopped listening. I stopped caring about what everybody thought except for me and my partner, my best people left. Then that was the really big job where I spent about $3 million of my money over budget. And because I was so arrogant, because I was so self -centered, I’m like, oh, they’re going to take care of me. I’m their minority contractor. They wouldn’t do anything to me. Yeah.
Marques Ogden (12:00.56)
No, and I tell my clients all the time, dot your I’s, cross your T’s, every job stands alone. Do not think because you did something for somebody else prior, it’s going to end up going forward in that direction. So that’s what happened. And I ended up losing everything in 2013 because I was grinding after the wrong thing.
Nick McGowan (12:30.227)
Well, think about the system that we’re raised in. You know, you’re taught, especially us, and I guess the people that were born within five, maybe 10 years, something like that of us, before and after, we were all taught like you have to go to school, you go to college, you get a good job. You were fortunate to be able to get into an elite position within the NFL. And then you were still in the spot. And I could imagine there’s probably countless stories of people that just blew their money.
Had no idea what the fuck was going on. They’re 25 and going, well, fuck them out of the league. What do I do now? You were able to transition into a company, but you still went after the money and here you are able to talk about it. And I think it’s synonymous. Doesn’t matter if you go to college, didn’t you get a job or you go to college, you get in the NFL or you don’t go to college. We are still taught within that system. They’d be able to do these things and that it should look a certain way. And that takes us away from being able to actually do the things that.
Marques Ogden (13:03.216)
Mm -hmm.
Nick McGowan (13:29.267)
fulfill us and make us passionate and excited about it. So you’ve learned all this stuff. You’ve gone through this. You work with clients now. Get real with us. What does that look like for you when you sit back and like reflect on those and go, man, some of the key things that I really took away from that that I do differently now are these.
Marques Ogden (13:47.632)
So now when success comes our way, I can handle it. Versus before, I have a saying, if you can’t handle success, success will hand you your ass. And that’s what it did to me. It handed me my ass. And now I’m very much so that my clients, as they amass success, that success won’t hand them their ass.
I’m all about, hey, learn from me. I started speaking for this reason, right Nick? I started speaking to help others succeed where I failed. So I like to reflect on all the things that I’ve gone through in life. I like to reflect on what has made me who I am today. I like to reflect on the fact that I remember in 2013 when I started speaking after my rock bottom moment as a custodian with somebody’s trash and rotten meat.
and nasty garbage got with my body, right Nick? That today I’m blessed to have all these great speaking clients. Like I’m heading to Boston in May for Fairway Independent Mortgage Corporation. I’m going to DC for them. I’ve got a job with them in fall here in Raleigh. I’ll go back to for them a job in Baltimore in October. I got to go to Atlanta.
this month for a big job on a weekend for a big client, high speed Alliance. I just got booked to work for one of my big clients now, WSFS Bank, doing a job with them for their people, right? A full days of work, right? I’m going to New York in May, gotta go back to Boston in May, right? All these things. And I tell everybody, I’m also the guy that for two and a half years got nothing but free jobs and was told no on every.
paid job I went after. So don’t think, oh, you’re a football guy and then you’re an NFL guy. I’m like, that has nothing to do with speaking. If you don’t have the ability to tell stories and align stories to a theme of what that event is, like for example, I’m doing a talk for a fairway mortgage, for a fairway independent mortgage corporation, May 9th in Boston. The theme is elevate.
Nick McGowan (15:48.531)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (16:05.84)
where I’m going to be focusing on how to create and sustain a breakable mindset and how to elevate your customer experience skillsets as a realtor to be able to connect with prospective clients and then have a deeper connection with existing clients. People think customer experience is the same as customer service. It is not. Customer service is when something goes wrong, you try to fix it.
customer experience is how you treat somebody from the beginning of the sales process to the end when it’s concluded. And when you’re in real estate and you’re a realtor, if you don’t give people excellent customer experience, they will find somebody else. Why? Because everybody and their mama wants to be a realtor. And I’ll tell you what, they think it’s easy, the hell it is, right? But again, this is what I’m gonna be talking about, right? How to connect with people, you know, how to have innovation, right? How to have…
Nick McGowan (16:50.931)
Ha ha ha.
Marques Ogden (17:01.616)
great sense making skill sets, how to really relate to people, how to create a vision, right? How to help your people see that you’re working with whatever they want, you can help solve their problem. But again, mindset, because again, as interest rates kind of go up and down and all around, as inventory gets low, as it’s hard because you have to go through, sometimes you’re competing against three, four, sometimes five buyers, not as bad as it was.
you know, probably back in 2021, it was like 3 .25 % interest rate, but it’s still competitive. And so if you think it’s gonna get up there, say, here I am, here I am, hire me on the next realtor. Yeah, no, it’s not gonna happen that way. So again, I’m gonna talk about how you have the right mindset. It allows you to elevate. And these are about 500 realtors that are coming from all across the Northeast and the Northeast and the Southeast.
that do work with Fairway Independent Moral Corporation and I’m gonna help to inspire them. I think there’s six speakers that are gonna be there. So again, it all plays into that level.
Nick McGowan (18:14.643)
Cool thing that you told me about that, about not only that position that you’re in to be able to have those speaking engagements, but the realtors specifically. In a previous life, I had worked with realtors in two different companies, one of my own and one company I worked with, and probably close to seven, 8 ,000 realtors over the course of seven, eight years, something like that.
And it was interesting to be able to see the dynamics of some of these people and how some of them understand that they are truly in the people business. They’re not in the house business and how other people look at them as units and they would actually call them units. And they weren’t talking about the units of the house or how many units were in an apartment building. They were talking of the units that they were selling to. And I remember seeing the ones that were really successful that almost seemed to do things backward. They were putting the people first rather than the inventory first and what have you.
And there it’s, I don’t want to say it’s easy to get a real estate license. I don’t have one. I’ve never tried, but it seemed like they were at different points. I would talk to some people where it was like Walmart was handing these licenses out to people and they were like, come on in. You want to be a real estate agent? But I think the key thing with what you were saying is about being authentic. And if that’s your jam, like I’ve got a good friend of mine who I’ve known since high school, he’s a real estate agent.
It’s a part -time gig for what he does and it’s becoming a full -time. At this point, it might be. I haven’t talked to him in maybe six, seven months, but I know he’s deeply passionate about actually helping the people. And that’s why he’s in it. Other people look at it as, I just want to make money. And if it’s real estate or if it’s anything else, it’s people are going after the money. Back to even 2020, so many people became a coach or so many people tried to become a web developer or graphic designer because they were trying to go after the money.
We saw a lot of those people drop off. Shit, even the people that have podcasts, you and I’ve had podcasts for a while. There’s, you know, how many people don’t actually get past their first, let alone how many people don’t actually get past their fifth or their 10th, let alone the milestone of a hundred. So it’s being passionate about this stuff. So if we kind of extract from that, what sort of things have you learned where you’re like, wow, this really lines up for me. And this is why I care so much that you do.
Nick McGowan (20:31.539)
speak to that when you talk to these people, maybe not in a group session, but when you get one -on -one with them, what are the things that you can kind of really line out? Because this podcast right now, though there’s a large audience that listens to it, you’re really just speaking one -to -one, you know? So speak to that.
Marques Ogden (20:43.92)
So, so I tell people if I’m talking to them one to one or one on one, if you want to be great, figure out what you do best and then start to build from there. Don’t try to figure out what you don’t do well and fix that, which is fine. Eventually you will. But if you want to start out doing something, if you want to start out trying to grow something, figure out what you do well and build from there and elevate from there.
That’s going to help to move you from A to Z to get all the way where you want to go. I tell my clients all the time on our first call, what are the three strengths that you have? Great. What are the three things you want to improve on the next six months or nine months or 12 months? Great. But I always start with your great act because in society, like you say, it’s backwards. I have to say, well, what do you want to work on? Okay, what are you good at? Well, then when you talk about something you want to work on,
I believe their frame of mind is not gonna be as positive and really sometimes really, really lean into their strengths because they’re thinking about what they really don’t do well. So I’m a big believer in getting people to understand what they do well and then help them build out from there. This way they are not starting out in a negative mindset or a fixed mindset.
Nick McGowan (21:54.195)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (22:09.616)
And this where they’re actually looking at what they really possess. For example, when I got divorced in 2020, I got divorced July, 2022, I was forced to live in the house with my soon to be ex from July, 2022 to November 1st, 2022. Because talk about self -discipline and mastery. If I would have moved out.
I would have lost rights potentially to my daughters, my stepdaughter and my nine year old daughter. And I could have lost rights to the house, but she could have kicked me out. And then I would have been, had to like go through the whole process and all that. So my lawyer said, Marcus, I know you don’t like it, but you can talk about mastering self -discipline for six months, no physical contact with any female, not including my, including my ex. Cause we were just past that one and I’m good.
But like I said, I had to master that. Cause my lawyer said, if you get caught with someone else, even though we’re starting this, you don’t have a divorce decree, a temporary agreement in place. And she can say that that had been going on before her quote unquote stuff that I caught her doing, which would have thrown everything out. And then I could have ended up having to pay alimony and all that type of stuff.
I only pay child support. I know we have 50 -50 custody. I pay child support to take care of my daughter when she’s with her. And I take care of my daughter when she’s with me. But my attorney said if you end up frat -nothin’ with a woman and it’s caught by your ex, you could lose the position that you have waited for in this case, and it can all go out the window. So I had to stay in her house for that long with no type of physical intimacy, anything from a female.
and all. And I had to move into an apartment for seven and a half months. I was depressed. I was feeling bad for the first two and a half months. It was like Thanksgiving. I had my daughter, my stepdaughter, she was off to college. Christmas, we had to split holidays with that. I had to move into an apartment that was not her square foot, that was two bedroom, two bathroom, only two windows in the whole place. Dark, dingy.
Nick McGowan (24:19.123)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (24:29.296)
outdated furniture, you name it. And you talk about mastering, you talk about why I think about positivity. When I started to finally visualize, right Nick, what I wanted for myself, I wanted a home that knew what it looked like, absolutely not. I wanted to be out of that apartment. I wanted to give Farrah, my daughter, a place to grow up and she could be proud of. Not going somewhere where it’s like going up three flights of steps and it was like.
felt like I was going to a horror movie from the 80s and like didn’t know if I was gonna like make it down, you know, from the cliff back to the room and all this stuff. I didn’t want that for her. So I said, I gotta work on it. I gotta get going. So I visualized, right? And visualizing, leading to where I was good at. Then I found out I could buy a home, put money down. And then Nick, I thought I had a bunch of tax debt that I had to take care of almost $90 ,000. I had to pay a portion of that down to be able to then –
qualified and I had to put another $25 ,000 down to get the house. Oh, and another $50 ,000 to pay my team throughout that time and my bills. So for two days after I put them in my deposit, I panicked my butt off because my, well, how am I gonna get this done? And I just sat there and I focused on what I was good at. I had a brand, I had a name, I had a podcast. I found ways to grow.
Nick McGowan (25:41.939)
I bet.
Marques Ogden (25:54.096)
other forms of revenue outside of just podcasting. I found ways to do healthy with PR other needs, right Nick? And I was able to pay that debt down by $40 ,000. I was able to put down the money to get into the house. I was able to take care of my team and do what I had to do. Right, again, you heard me say take care of my team, because not just about me, it’s about us. And my point is I moved into my brand new home May 15th, 2023.
Next month will be a year. And again, a year ago, Nick, I was just in a really, really tight spot, right? Year, let’s say, 14, let’s say 15 months ago, it was tight. 18 months ago, it was a nightmare. If you’re listening to this awesome podcast, master what you are good at. That’s what I did. And when I did that, I got out of the situation. So now I have a 3 ,100 square foot home that I live in.
Nick McGowan (26:40.883)
Yeah.
Marques Ogden (26:53.232)
That’s my dream home that my daughter and I, and when my stepdaughter comes home from college, she has her room. Right? I bought this by myself as an entrepreneur, not a W -2 employee, in a time, right, Nick, where everybody is like scrutinizing, looking at everything from the, you know how hard that is, it’s about to buy a home, you know, it’s a non -W -2 employee. My point is, when you focus on what you’re good at, everything else will fade away.
And then from there, build and then just master self -discipline and stick to your routine. Don’t labor, don’t falter, don’t go off track. Everything else will take care of itself.
Nick McGowan (27:39.155)
Yeah, there’s that power that’s within that. I got a divorce about a year before you did. Wasn’t in that spot that you were in. I don’t have any kids, didn’t have any kids, none of that sort of stuff. Didn’t have to live with her for that amount of time. In fact, I remember being like, all right, well, it’s going to take you three weeks to get out of here, so I’m going to go away for four weeks. And I’ll just go stay somewhere else. You do what you need to do and be able to get out. But no matter what, if you’re in that spot where you’re in a really tight spot,
having to stay there and kids and all these other things. Even if somebody’s listening to this and they’re like, well, I didn’t go through that. I went through more of what Nick did or they’re somewhere in the middle, whatever. There’s still that piece that happens once we actually make the decision. Either the decision to do the thing, like get the divorce or the decision to move along or to try to make it work or whatever. But there was a decision that was made where it was like, all right, I have what I have in front of me. I get to do something with this.
What do I want to do with this? And that sounds like that’s kind of the moral of the story of it. No matter what’s happening, whatever position you’re in, you get to do something with that. And it’s the choice to be able to do it. You and I are in the same elk when it comes to finding that discipline, the thing that works for you and continuing to do it. That’s difficult to do. But as you do more of it, I don’t think it becomes easier. It just becomes more ingrained. And it’s more of what you do when you start to see things open up. And I’m glad that you pointed out that
Things started to change once you looked at that. Cause a lot of people can look at what are the things you’d want to do? What do you not want to do? I put together a list of the things that I no longer accepted than the things that I was going to accept more of and being able to figure out what happens from here. So I’m glad that you brought that up and I’m sorry that you went through that, but I’m glad that you went through it. People that haven’t gone through a divorce. I don’t want to wish that upon them, but that is a different level of learning who you are and what you’re about.
And it can also open up a lot of previous things. So were there things that you had to change within yourself or look directly at yourself and go, wow, this stuff happened to me when I was a little kid or when I was younger that led to the demise of this thing.
Marques Ogden (29:46.512)
So my parents got divorced when I was eight. I met my stepdaughter when she was eight. I started the divorce process from my ex with my daughter, Farrah, was eight. And my parents got divorced in 1988. Tons of eights, right? And what I realized is that when I was growing up, I looked at things from a victim perspective, younger as a young person.
And today, what I realized is when I was going through that tough time November, December, the first half of January of 2023, November of 2022, December 2022, the first half of January 2023, I was in a victim mindset, victim mindset. And now I’m in a victor mindset. So I look at things as an opportunity to get better. I look at things as an opportunity to shine.
Look at things as opportunity to really move past difficulty, hardships, you know, struggles, adversity. So now in my work as a speaker, coach, consultant, podcaster, bring on great podcasts like this. I’m always saying, well, yeah, how can I turn any type of bad situation to a good one? And I’ve learned to do that. And because of that, I’ve learned how to get better at my craft. We’re much busier. We built.
great systems, we continue to build great systems, we got great people around us, we have different things that we’re doing. It’s a lot of work, but at the end of the day, right, man, you know, if it’s not worth working for, then why bother having it? So again, I was a young person growing up. I used to always look at things from a victim mindset. And now I really realized after my divorce and starting to say, you know what, I’m not going to live like this.
I now have turned that from a victim mindset to a victor mindset.
Nick McGowan (31:45.043)
And look, I’m all about mindset, however, and I’ve gotten questions about this from people. It’s not, you can’t just mindset your way through life. You can’t. It’s a part of it. And it’s a major part of it. But there’s also work that needs to be done. And from what I’m understanding from you and maybe reading between the lines, it’s not about bypassing. And that’s one of the big things we talk about on this, on the show, you’re not bypassing the things you’re actually doing the work, you’re healing the stuff and continuing to work from there.
Marques Ogden (31:55.856)
Hmm?
Nick McGowan (32:13.395)
What sort of work did you do to be able to actually go through like deep processing work or any acupressure sessions or therapy, things of that sort that you found that really worked for you?
Marques Ogden (32:22.96)
Great question, Nick. I’ve been in therapy on and off my whole life. When my parents got divorced in 1988, my dad put me in therapy. And I have been in therapy every week or every other week since June of 2022. When I was trying to save my marriage, I got into therapy. We went to two sessions together. She didn’t want to go. And my therapist, who I still see the same therapist to this day, he said, Marcus, I could tell that you wanted to be here.
And I can tell, I could tell, excuse me, that she didn’t want to be here. And so, and he was right. And so now in my life, right Nick, every week or every other two weeks, depending upon his schedule and mine, we meet in person. And when I tried to sign up with him back in June of 2022, it was so booked. The NFL is amazing. They actually pay for our therapy. He was so booked, right? Well, sorry, the area was so booked.
Nick McGowan (33:16.851)
Nice.
Marques Ogden (33:20.144)
Durham, Cary, everywhere. There was a two month wait list. He was the only person open. It was a 45 to 50 minute drive each way. And I said, you know what? I’m in. And still to this, even though I bought my home and I’m just so grateful for that, right Nick? It’s still about a 45 to 50 minute drive each way to see him. And I make it every week or every other week. And again, that’s the work that I’ve done. I’m continuing to do work.
to go from victim to victor. So the therapy with aid and it’s actually animal assisted therapy and he has a dog, Ob, who’s the best. Because of that animal assisted therapy I’ve been in since June, 2022, it has changed my life to go from victim to victor.
Nick McGowan (34:00.083)
Hmm.
Marques Ogden (34:08.528)
Thank you.
Nick McGowan (34:09.331)
I love that. And especially if you get to hang out with a pup, you can’t go wrong. Man, it’s been awesome to have you on the show. I want to make sure that we get to this. What’s that one piece of advice you’d give to somebody that’s on their path towards self -mastery?
Marques Ogden (34:24.016)
Now ask her what you know you are good at and don’t worry about what you’re not good at. Should you pay attention to it? Yes, but don’t sit there and ponder on it. Don’t sit there and dwell on it. Don’t sit there and be like, you know, negative Nancy on it. Don’t do that. Cause what happens is you start to think, well, am I good enough? I mean, I have clients like that and they drive me crazy. And I always tell them, look, don’t tell me, well, I have…
having posture syndrome. Why? Well, because why, well, who’s gonna listen to me if I go in coach? Well, who, I’m like, well, look, nobody, if you don’t go and do it, right? You can’t think like that. And I get it, cause I was there. But I’m like, look, if you keep thinking like that, you’re never gonna move past and get to the other side. Right? I tell everybody, one of my favorite movies is the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy and Toto had to go through a twister, tornado, whatever you wanna call it, to get to Munchkin Land, where it was.
Nick McGowan (35:02.067)
Mm -hmm.
Marques Ogden (35:19.888)
Yellow brick road, blue skies, and flowers, and pink, and pretty, and nice, all these things. Life’s the same way. You got to go through the crap to get to the other side. I took it all the time. The brightest rainbows come after the darkest thunderstorms. So again, if you’re listening, master what you are good at. Build from there, and then let everything else take its time and take its course.
Nick McGowan (35:20.787)
Hmm
Nick McGowan (35:49.107)
great way to put that and well done with the Wizard of Oz reference because sometimes you do need to deal with a witch. It happens. Man, I appreciate you being on. It’s been awesome to connect with you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you?
Marques Ogden (36:05.552)
Great question, Nick. We have an app, the Marcus Ogden app. You have an Android phone or an Apple phone. Go to your app store and type in my name, Marcus, M -A -R -Q -U -E -S, Ogden, O -G -D -E -N. You can download the app. It’s free, great source of content, inspirational videos, you name it. You can go to our website, marcusogden .com. You can go to our 360 page, marcus360 .com, or shoot me an email.
Marcus at MarcusAugden .com.
Nick McGowan (36:39.347)
Awesome. And thank you so much for being on the show today, Marcus. It’s been a pleasure.
Marques Ogden (36:42.704)
Great, Nick, thanks a lot, my friend.
https://youtu.be/WiD_K1a54Vg