How to Be an Adult

By Luke Chao and Pascal Langdale

Do you find yourself wishing that your parents had taught you more about how to take care of yourself, your emotions and your health? This show offers practical guidance for outwardly successful but i... more

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FAQs about How to Be an Adult:

How many episodes does How to Be an Adult have?

The podcast currently has 31 episodes available.

How to Be an Adult episodes:

January 21, 2026How to Overcome Procrastination (Ep. 31, with Kate Voss)
In this conversational episode, Kate and Luke discuss how to overcome procrastination, based on their personal experience, as well as professional work with hypnotherapy clients.
Procrastination originates from the Latin word procrastinus, meaning ‘of tomorrow,’ highlighting the tendency to defer actions to a future time.
Living with the knowledge of future consequences (e.g., dirty dishes, laundry) can motivate present action and set up a better tomorrow.
Self-motivated and productive individuals maximize their available waking hours by prioritizing important tasks and letting go of non-essential ones.
Completing tasks quickly, rather than carrying them as burdens, leads to a lighter and easier life, as avoiding tasks often requires more energy than doing them.
Tasks are frequently perceived as more difficult than they actually are; engaging with them reveals they are often feasible and manageable.
The belief that one can accomplish a task is crucial, echoing Henry Ford’s sentiment that ‘whether you believe you can or whether you believe you can’t, you’re right.’
We frame procrastination as a ‘software problem’ (thought processes) rather than a ‘hardware problem’ (fixed wiring), suggesting it can be overcome by upgrading thinking patterns.
Breaking down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps (chunking) is essential for completing them, similar to running a marathon one step at a time.
The principle ‘done is better than perfect’ encourages action and progress over striving for unattainable perfection.
Audacity is the key differentiator between those who ‘dare to disturb the universe’ and take action, and those who do not.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Intro
0:49 – What is procrastination?
2:23 – How to make the most out of each day
6:32 – Luke’s experience with procrastination
8:47 – Is procrastination a fixed mindset, or can it change?
10:58 – Best practices for procrastination
15:20 – How perfectionism fuels procrastination
19:38 – Learn to be your own greatest ally
23:06 – Turn best practices into action
25:34 – Becoming a doer, not a dreamer
27:29 – Dare to disturb the universe
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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34min
December 19, 2025How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome (Ep. 30)
If you’ve accomplished enough with your life, and you’re very self-critical at the same time, you will probably feel at some point that you’re an impostor or a fraud. This is a pretty good sign that you aren’t. In today’s episode, we’ll explore why, and what to do about that awful feeling:
Imposter syndrome is common among intelligent, high-achieving individuals who feel like frauds despite their accomplishments.
This feeling often arises because our self-concept, formed in childhood, may not be updated to reflect our current adult selves and capabilities.
Adult life involves operating at the “edge of knowledge,” where problems lack definitive answers and require judgment, unlike the “known problems” of earlier education.
Perfection is achievable in simple tasks but not in complex adult endeavors; striving for “good enough” and conforming to best practices is often more appropriate.
Comparing oneself to others, especially based on curated online personas, is misleading, as everyone has inner complexities and limitations.
Developing self-validation is crucial, meaning trusting one’s own educated mind and experienced judgment rather than solely seeking external approval.
Recognizing the entire journey of learning and development up to the present moment builds confidence and validates current accomplishments.
Mistakes are a natural part of operating at the edge of knowledge and expanding capabilities, not an indication of being a fraud.
Peers operating at the same “edge of knowledge” often possess intellectual humility and are unlikely to judge others for not knowing everything.
Addressing impostor syndrome involves understanding its origins, recognizing peers are in similar situations, acknowledging one’s journey, and practicing self-validation and realistic standards.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Intro
1:01 – Who gets impostor syndrome?
3:49 – “Edge of knowledge” problems
9:33 – You are the real deal
10:58 – Complex situations do not have neat answers
13:53 – Update your self-concept
16:30 – #1: Understand the situation
19:34 – #2: Recognize the journey that got you here
22:33 – #3: Stop comparing yourself to others
24:48 – #4: Become self-validating
26:38 – #5: Stop being a perfectionist
29:48 – #6: Making a mistake doesn’t make you a fraud
31:49 – Summary
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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35min
November 13, 2025 Principles for Effective Protest: A Special Episode Following the SSI-SJP Clash Near TMU (Ep. 29)
On November 5, 2025, the tranquility of our hypnosis office was broken by a clash between two student groups, Students Supporting Israel and Students for Justice in Palestine, from Toronto Metropolitan University. After a window was broken and the protesters were forced out, five arrests were made, and the police chief says that more charges are coming.
If you’ve seen the videos posted on social media, you might have seen our founder Luke Chao surveying the damage and making efforts to deescalate the situation. In this special episode of How to Be an Adult, Luke reflects on what we can learn about civil disobedience and how to protest effectively. This is not legal advice: it’s practical advice for what to think inside your head.
00:00 – The protest on November 5
01:39 – The purpose of civil disobedience
04:35 – #1: Remember the human
05:42 – #2: When fighting monsters, do not become one yourself
07:15 – #3: Do not reverse victim and perpetrator
08:04 – #4: Narrative is not everything
08:51 – #5: Avoid getting swept up in mobs
09:37 – #6: Be Socratic
10:23 – #7: Pick your battles
11:19 – Closing remarks
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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14min
September 17, 20258 Ways to Win at Capitalism (Ep. 28)
Chances are, there isn’t a revolution coming, and you’re going to be living in a capitalist society for the rest of your life. Now what? In this solo episode, Luke shares eight principles for adapting to (indeed, thriving in) the economic system that our listeners live in:
Capitalism is a system where private property and corporations own the means of production, and winning at it means accumulating enough capital to generate income without working for wages.
To win at capitalism, you need to become a member of the capital-owning class by investing in assets like stocks, bonds, or real estate.
It’s important to be a master of capital, not its slave, by using capital as a tool rather than letting it control your decisions.
Cultivating an internal locus of control is crucial, as believing you are responsible for your circumstances empowers you to take action and accumulate capital.
Optimism is essential for winning at capitalism, as it drives investors, entrepreneurs, and content creators to take risks and work hard for future rewards.
Adopting a positive-sum mentality, where wealth creation benefits everyone, is more pragmatic and productive than a zero-sum mindset.
Understanding supply and demand helps you position yourself uniquely in the market, allowing you to charge higher fees or wages.
Living below your means and playing offense by increasing your income through strategic investments or career moves is key to accumulating capital.
Respecting and admiring successful capitalists can help you learn from their strategies and avoid cognitive dissonance.
Wealth amplifies your existing character traits, so it’s important to cultivate good values and principles before and during your journey to financial success.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Introduction
8:46 – Become a member of the capital-owning class
15:48 – Become a master of capital, not its slave
24:34 – Cultivate an internal locus of control
28:06 – Foster optimism
31:35 – Develop a positive-sum (win–win) mentality
39:31 – Understand supply and demand
45:07 – Play offence, not defence
50:18 – Find winners to admire
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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55min
August 12, 2025How to Think About Time (Ep. 27)
In this episode co-hosted by Luke Chao and Kate Voss, we discuss how we might maturely relate to time. It’s less about time management, and more a philosophy of how one might make the most out of your 16 waking hours in a day:
Time management is crucial for adults to balance work, leisure, and personal growth, with each person having about 16 waking hours a day to allocate.
Elon Musk’s time management strategies, such as scheduling in five-minute increments, highlight the importance of valuing each minute, though this level of granularity may not be practical for everyone.
Time is a non-renewable resource that should be budgeted and spent wisely, similar to money, as it is scarce and valuable.
Technology and social media can hijack attention and disrupt productivity, but individuals can reclaim control by using tools intentionally and turning off unnecessary notifications and other distractions.
Setting long-term goals and breaking them down into smaller, manageable tasks can help in effectively managing time and staying motivated.
The perception of time changes with age, and recognizing its relentless forward movement can help in making better decisions about how to spend it.
Rest and leisure are essential for well-being and should be intentionally scheduled, as they provide intrinsic value and prevent burnout.
The hustle and grind culture often undervalues rest and leisure, but these activities are crucial for a balanced and fulfilling life.
Children, retirees and the generationally wealthy offer valuable perspectives on the importance of play, rest, and non-work activities for overall happiness and well-being.
Effective time management involves using simple tools like calendars and to-do lists, focusing on simplicity and practicality rather than aesthetics.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Intro
3:07 – What does it mean to manage time?
3:46 – Every minute has priceless value
5:42 – We choose how to spend our time
12:12 – What do you do if you’re “bad at time”?
14:10 – Do you think time cares?
16:49 – Odds are, you’ll live a long time.
20:03 – Time feels faster as you get older.
21:10 – Not all time spent is well spent.
28:34 – You earn at work. You live after work.
31:04 – Write it down. Do it on time.
35:27 – Rest isn’t lazy. It’s maintenance.
38:12 – As a kid, play was scheduled. Now you have to schedule it.
43:20 – Outro
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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45min
July 16, 2025How to Cope with Uncertainty (Ep. 26)
Most of our anxiety comes not from what actually happens, but from what we imagine might happen in an uncertain future. In this solo episode with Luke Chao, he speaks about how to face the future with clarity:
The things you’re stressed about today will likely be handled by your future self with the maturity and experience of that age.
Life’s uncertainties are like driving on a winding road; you don’t need to imagine threats, just trust your senses and handle what comes.
Anxiety often focuses on hypothetical threats rather than the actual reality, which is usually safe and manageable.
Throughout life, you’ve handled misfortunes without prior preparation, proving you can adapt to whatever comes.
Mentally preparing for a long life (around 80 years) is practical and aligns with statistical averages.
Focus on what you know (like your current capabilities) rather than trying to predict the unknown future.
Use your imagination to visualize and create the future you want, rather than dwelling on potential negatives.
As an adult, you control your environment and can create lasting good things in your life.
Accept that the future is uncertain, but trust in your ability to handle whatever comes with maturity and intelligence.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Introduction
6:52 – What we know for certain
11:44 – But what if…?
18:57 – Proper use of the imagination
26:04 – Outro
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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28min
June 16, 2025What Makes a Relationship Successful (Ep. 25)
Kate is the newest member of our team at The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis, and in this episode, she and Luke discuss some of the hallmarks of a successful relationship. We offer suggestions for listeners at every stage in their relationship journey:
Successful relationships begin with a positive relationship with oneself, characterized by self-love and self-respect.
The “four C’s” of relationships—clarity, confidence, communication, and connection—are crucial for navigating both entering and maintaining relationships.
Confidence plays a significant role in attracting partners. How one presents themselves non-verbally can influence the type of relationships they attract.
Effective communication is essential for expressing needs and desires, which helps in forming genuine connections.
Relationships should enhance both partners’ lives, with interdependence rather than codependency, where both individuals are whole and contribute equally.
The concept of “positive sum” relationships suggests that partnerships should multiply love and support rather than create competition or imbalance.
Individuals are encouraged to embrace their uniqueness and authenticity, avoiding the tendency to pedestalize others or compare themselves unfavorably.
The importance of self-care—physically, mentally, and emotionally—is a prerequisite for being able to connect with others meaningfully.
When evaluating a relationship’s future, ask whether would choose the partner again if starting fresh.
Breakups can be an act of love when they allow both partners to find better compatibility. Ending a relationship does not diminish the love shared.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Intro
2:16 – Big mistakes seen in a relationship?
2:30 – The 4 C’s in a relationship
7:28 – A cool thing about being self-loving
8:26 – What are relationships about
10:11 – Relationships and climbing mountains
11:35 – The egalitarian style
17:40 – Pedestalizing others
21:20 – Questions to ask yourself in a relationship
24:28 – How to be 100% yourself
28:15 – Scenarios and stages in a relationship
28:38 – Scenario #1: Have you never been on a date before?
33:40 – People in the dating world
37:00 – Finding your forever person is inevitable
41:15 – Scenario #2: How do you know?
46:30 – Is the grass greener?
47:45 – Complimentary or opposites
49:55 – Has the relationship run its course?
54:54 – Outro
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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57min
April 22, 2025How to Ask Yourself Great Questions (Ep. 24)
The questions we ask ourselves determine which thoughts subsequently enter our minds. If we ask ourselves about counterfactual scenarios, our mind floods with counterfactual scenarios. If we ask ourselves about reassuring truths, we find reassuring truths, almost as though we were typing a query into a search engine. This episode is about how to ask yourself the second type of question.
Good questions can lead to productive thoughts, while bad questions can evoke unnecessary anxiety and confusion.
The way we think is influenced by the questions we ask ourselves, which can shape our emotional and physical well-being.
It’s essential to challenge the premises of our questions, as flawed assumptions can lead to unhelpful answers.
Questions about others’ opinions or actions distract from our agency; instead, focus on self-directed questions using “shall” to emphasize personal responsibility.
Using frameworks like the five W’s (who, what, when, where, why) and strategic versus tactical questions can guide effective self-inquiry.
Intuition plays a crucial role in decision-making; allowing time for reflection can lead to more satisfying answers than immediate rational thought.
Individuals should prioritize asking themselves questions about their own values and priorities rather than seeking validation from others.
Recognizing one’s agency in decision-making can reduce anxiety and empower individuals to shape their futures.
The ultimate goal of questioning is to approach truth and broaden perspectives, leading to actionable insights and improved self-awareness.
Table of Contents:
0:00 – Intro
0:55 – Why good questions matter
8:26 – “What if” and “why” questions
13:36 – The purpose of a question
19:25 – The 5 W’s and H
24:42 – Let questions sit
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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32min
March 24, 2025How to “Be a Man” (Ep. 23)
This timely episode tackles an important topic that I’ve tried a few times to speak about. For the half of the population who are male, how are we supposed to “be a man”? In this episode 23, I make an attempt to answer this question using the same analytical lens through which I’ve dissected how we are all supposed to “be an adult.”
The concept of masculinity is evolving, and traditional definitions centered around being a provider, protector, and procreator are becoming outdated as women can now fulfill these roles independently.
The real battle is against oneself rather than against women or other men.
Discussions around toxic masculinity does not provide constructive role models for young men to emulate.
Role models for healthy masculinity are scarce, with examples like Mufasa from “The Lion King” and Keanu Reeves being cited for their positive traits and authenticity.
Societal norms around gender are largely socially constructed, and men can redefine masculinity in ways that break away from outdated conventions.
Be aware of your inherent power and strength, using it to uplift and support others rather than to intimidate or harm.
Being a good man is synonymous with being a good person, regardless of gender.
Identify role models who exhibit desirable qualities and strive to emulate them in daily life.
Everyone has a unique path to happiness and success, and it’s essential for individuals to recognize their potential for growth and improvement over time.
Table of Contents:
00:00 – Intro
00:51 – How to “be a man”
02:13 – The inspiration behind the episode
05:21 – Healthy masculinity
07:52 – Men and women are apples and oranges
11:00 – The Tate hate
13:59 – Who are our male role models?
20:55 – The obligations of a man
28:52 – Do we need to atone for other men?
31:52 – Finding strength on your path to success
35:32 – A good man is a good person
41:10 – Outro
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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43min
February 16, 2025How to Forgive Yourself (Ep. 22)
We all know that we should forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but until somebody teaches you how, the path to redemption isn’t always obvious. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means when you’re feeling guilty or ashamed, and what to do about it.:
Remorse serves to reflect and improve oneself to avoid repeating past mistakes.
Guilt arises from specific wrongful actions, while shame is a deeper feeling of being a bad person.
When you recognize your position in your redemption arc, you can make amends and grow as a person.
Continuous self-reflection and learning from past actions are essential for personal development and need not lead to perpetual guilt or shame.
Unlike manufactured objects that degrade over time, humans grow and evolve throughout life, and past mistakes do not define one’s current worth.
Individuals should assess their behaviors with kindness and understanding, similar to how a good parent or teacher would guide a child, rather than harshly criticizing themselves.
Many people hold themselves to harsher standards than they would apply to friends; recognizing this double standard can foster self-compassion.
Everyone deserves moments of joy and forgiveness, regardless of past transgressions, and self-compassion is integral to healing.
Instead of asking self-deprecating questions, individuals should focus on what kind of person they want to be and the values they wish to uphold moving forward.
0:00 – Intro
0:54 – The difference between guilt and shame
1:43 – Guilt means a good thing
2:21 – Life is a redemption arc
3:42 – Everyone has regrets
5:35 – The utility of remorse
6:07 – What it means to be a lifelong learner
7:16 – Humans get better with time, not worse
9:33 – How to learn from your mistakes
11:25 – When to stop of punishing yourself
13:25 – Everyone deserves a second chance (to know better next time)
16:27 – Treat yourself as a friend
18:21 – Who do you want to be tomorrow?
20:12 – Outro
Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube, free of third-party advertising. Remember to like, subscribe and share!
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23min

FAQs about How to Be an Adult:

How many episodes does How to Be an Adult have?

The podcast currently has 31 episodes available.