How to be Local

Moving abroad at 20 with only €400 and no idea what to expect? That's how Dyla's journey from Indonesia to Germany began.

Starting a new life abroad can be exciting, but what happens when the reality turns out to be completely different from what you imagined?

In Episode 23 of How to Be Local, we're welcoming our first guest who isn't one of our partners!

Meet Dyla, originally from Indonesia, who moved to Germany at just 20 years old as an au pair, without ever having visited Europe before.

She wanted to explore the world, experience a different culture and create opportunities for herself that she didn't have back home.

But moving abroad wasn't nearly as easy as she imagined.

From struggling with German bureaucracy and language barriers to adjusting to cultural differences, feeling lonely and questioning whether she'd made the right decision, Dyla shares what those first months in Germany were really like.

And things have changed quite a bit since then!

After six years in Germany, Dyla eventually decided to leave the life she'd built behind and start another chapter. Today, she works remotely, travels between Europe and Asia and is building a business with her husband.

Together, we talk about culture shock, moving abroad alone, learning languages, making friends as an adult and what it actually takes to feel at home somewhere new.

We also get into intercultural relationships, the surprising differences between living in Germany and Spain, and why making friends in a country that feels culturally familiar isn't necessarily easier.

As a German living in Brazil, a Brazilian living in Canada and an Indonesian who has built a life across different countries, we realize how many experiences we share despite growing up in completely different parts of the world.

One thing that really stayed with us from this conversation is that you don't have to have your entire life figured out before moving abroad.

Your plans can change. Your goals can change. And deciding that you want something different doesn't mean your original decision was a mistake.

Sometimes, it just means you've grown.

Whether you're planning your first move abroad, struggling to settle into a new country or simply trying to figure out where you belong, we hope Dyla's story reminds you that you're not alone in this experience.

💬 LET'S TALK!

Have you ever moved abroad without knowing what to expect?

What's something you struggled with in the beginning that eventually became easier?

And if you're still dreaming about moving abroad, what's the biggest thing holding you back?

We'd love to hear your stories in the comments!

🎙️ ABOUT HOW TO BE LOCAL

We're Vicky, a German living in Brazil, and Fernanda, a Brazilian living in Canada.

Together, we talk about the real side of living abroad, intercultural relationships, culture shock, identity, personal growth and everything that comes with building a life somewhere new.

CONNECT WITH US

Podcast Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/howtobelocal_/

Vicky:
https://www.instagram.com/avidadavi/

Fernanda:
https://www.instagram.com/nandafernandes/

Send us your stories or questions:
[email protected]

If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to our channel and share it with someone who's dreaming about starting a new life abroad. 💛

#HowToBeLocal #MovingAbroad #LivingInGermany #CultureShock #ExpatLife

Working remotely sounds like the dream: work from anywhere, travel whenever you want, skip the commute and have more freedom over your day.

But what happens when the dream becomes your everyday life?

In this episode, we talk about our very different journeys into remote work and what working from home actually looks like behind the flexibility.

Vicky shares what it was like trying to enter the remote job market after coming from a completely in-person medical career and why finding that first opportunity was much harder than she expected. Nanda shares how the pandemic unexpectedly started her remote-work journey and how networking and previous connections shaped the opportunities that followed.

We also talk about the side of remote work that doesn't always make it onto social media: struggling to switch off, spending entire days at home, losing the natural social interaction that comes with going to work, and how working remotely while living abroad can sometimes make loneliness and making friends even harder.

We get into healthy vs. unhealthy routines, work-life boundaries, working while traveling, whether we would choose remote work again, and the freedom remote work has given us to build lives abroad and spend more time with family.

And if you're currently trying to find your first remote job, we also share some of the things we've learned along the way, from building experience and practicing interviews to networking, freelance work and looking beyond the usual job platforms.

Remote work can give you an incredible amount of freedom. But does that automatically make it the better way to work?

Maybe the bigger question is: does remote work actually fit the kind of person you are?

Let us know your experience. Do you love working remotely, miss going into work, or would your ideal situation be somewhere in between?

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Send us your stories or questions:

Email: ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad:

Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠⁠@nandafernandes⁠⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share it with someone who is currently learning a new language or building a life abroad.

How much should your family actually be involved in your relationship and when does being close to your family start crossing a boundary?

In Episode 21 of How to Be Local, we continue our series about cultural differences versus actual relationship problems, and this time we’re talking about family.

We talk about how our own family dynamics shaped what we consider “normal,” how moving abroad changed the way we see our families, and what happens when two people grow up with completely different expectations around closeness, privacy and involvement.

We also get into the harder questions: What if your family starts influencing decisions that should belong to you and your partner? What if your partner feels like they’re competing with your family for attention? Should your partner eventually come first? And what happens when your family simply doesn’t like the person you’re with?

One thing we keep coming back to is boundaries.

Your family can be incredibly important without making every decision for you, and your partner can respect your family without having to be involved in absolutely everything.

So where do you draw the line?

When is it simply a different family dynamic and when does it become an actual relationship problem?

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Send us your stories or questions:

Email: ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad:

Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠@nandafernandes⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share it with someone who is currently learning a new language or building a life abroad.

When you’re dating someone from another culture, there will always be moments where you stop and ask yourself: Is this actually a problem… or is this simply normal where they’re from?

In part two of our conversation about dating across cultures, we’re getting into the situations where that question becomes a little harder to answer.

Can jealousy be cultural and still be a red flag? Where does being protective turn into being controlling? What actually counts as flirting when eye contact, physical touch and even friendliness can mean completely different things depending on where you’re from?

And then there are gender roles. Who should pay on dates? Should the man always provide? Should the woman take care of the home? And what happens when one person grew up with very traditional expectations while the other wants a completely equal relationship?

We also share some of our own experiences from dating in Germany, Brazil and Canada and talk about something that keeps coming up throughout the episode: culture can explain where a behavior comes from, but that doesn’t automatically mean your partner has to accept it.

And because we clearly had too much to say about this topic, we’re not done yet. In the next episode, we’ll continue with family involvement, communication styles and the big question of how two people from completely different family and cultural backgrounds can actually find a compromise that works for both.

Have you ever dated someone from another culture and found yourself wondering, “Is this cultural… or is this actually a red flag?”

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Send us your stories or questions:

Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad:

Podcast Instagram: ⁠@howtobelocal_⁠

Vicky: ⁠@avidadavi⁠

Fernanda: ⁠@nandafernandes⁠

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share it with someone who is currently learning a new language or building a life abroad.

Red flags, green flags, orange flags… and apparently even rotten flags. 🚩

In this episode, we’re talking about all the things we hear about dating all the time: love bombing, ghosting, empty promises, consistency, communication and those little behaviors that make you stop and think: Wait… is this actually a red flag?

Because sometimes it’s obvious. Someone makes huge promises, disappears a few days later and suddenly comes back with their ex. Yeah… red flag.

But sometimes it’s much harder to tell.

What if someone is simply really excited about you in the beginning? When does that turn into love bombing? Is talking about marriage and kids early automatically suspicious? And what if you’ve been hurt before and now completely normal behavior suddenly feels like a warning sign?

We also share some of our own dating experiences, including ghosting, situationships, people saying exactly what you want to hear and the moments where past relationships made us question perfectly normal behavior in healthier ones.

And of course, we also talk about the green flags: consistency, actually keeping your word, listening, communicating and — maybe most importantly — changing your behavior when you say you will.

There was way too much to unpack in one episode, so this conversation isn’t over yet.

In Part 2, we’ll go deeper into red and green flags when you’re dating someone from another culture and ask: when is something actually unhealthy… and when is it simply different from what you’re used to?

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Send us your stories or questions:

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad:

Podcast Instagram: @howtobelocal_

Vicky: @avidadavi

Fernanda: @nandafernandes

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share it with someone who is currently learning a new language or building a life abroad.

Do I really need to learn the local language to survive in the country I now call home?

In this week’s episode, we discuss the story of an American who has lived in Berlin for six years but has never learned more than a few words of German. His reason is simple: everyone around him speaks English anyway.

But is relying on English a practical decision, or does refusing to learn the local language show a lack of effort and respect?

When you are already managing so many other challenges, learning the language can initially feel like the last thing on your mind. Relying on English may be easier, but it can also make you dependent on other people and leave you feeling isolated from everyday life.

Together, we discuss the difference between surviving abroad and actually becoming part of the country, the fear of making mistakes, why locals sometimes switch to English, and how language can affect friendships, work opportunities, independence, and intercultural relationships.

Do you need to speak the language fluently to belong, or is making an effort enough to show that you genuinely want to connect with the country and its people?

What do you think? Should everyone be expected to learn the local language when they move abroad, or does it depend on the person and their situation?

Send us your stories or questions:

Email: [email protected]

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad:

Podcast Instagram: @howtobelocal_
Vicky: @avidadavi
Fernanda: @nandafernandes

If you enjoyed this episode, follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share it with someone who is currently learning a new language or building a life abroad.

What happens when the life you built abroad no longer feels right, but starting over again feels like another risk you cannot afford?

In this week’s episode, we discuss the story of a 30-year-old woman from South America who moved to Europe hoping to build a more stable future. After feeling happy and secure in Germany, losing her job, and moving to Spain for a PhD, she now feels stuck, financially behind, and unsure about what to do next.

We talk about how much the place we live affects how we feel and why one country may fit our personality and the life we want better than another.

We also share our own experiences with comparing ourselves to friends back home and feeling pressured to have a career, a home, financial stability, and a family figured out by 30.

At the heart of her story is a much bigger fear: What if she moves again, invests all that time and energy, and still doesn’t find the stable life she wants?

We discuss whether changing your location can really solve the feeling of being behind, why realistic expectations matter when moving to another country, and the difference between giving up on a dream and letting go of a plan that no longer takes you where you want to go.

Have you ever felt like you were running out of time to make your life abroad work?

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Send us your stories or question to:

Email: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad: Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@nandafernandes

When living abroad starts affecting your mental health, going home can feel like the obvious answer. But will returning home actually fix how you feel?

In this episode, we respond to the story of someone who moved to another continent for a one-year work assignment. What looked amazing on paper slowly became a life shaped by remote work, isolation, anxiety, and counting down the days until it was time to leave.

But when things slowly begin to improve, the decision becomes more complicated. Is going home still the right choice, or are you leaving just as life abroad is finally starting to change?

We talk about:

• The difference between the life abroad we imagine and the ordinary reality

• How remote work can increase loneliness and make building friendships harder

• Why “just find a hobby” is not always as simple as people make it sound

• Why being functional does not automatically mean that you are okay

• Whether going home will actually fix how you feel

We are not mental health professionals, and this conversation is not intended to diagnose anyone. We are simply sharing our personal thoughts and experiences. If you are struggling with your mental health or experiencing specific symptoms, we strongly encourage you to speak with a qualified professional.

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Send us your stories, questions, or episode ideas!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad: Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@nandafernandes

Love may be the reason you move abroad for someone, but is it enough to build a fulfilling life in their country?

In this episode, Vicky is joined by Diego to react to the story of an American woman who moved to Belgium for her partner. She loves him, but she is struggling to make friends, works difficult hours, feels isolated by the language barrier, and misses the freedom and community she had before.

As these struggles grow, she begins to wonder whether everything she gave up could eventually turn into resentment, especially when her partner continues living a life she doesn’t have the same freedom to enjoy.

Vicky and Diego compare her situation with their own experience in Brazil and talk honestly about what moving abroad for a relationship demands from both partners.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why love cannot replace friendships, independence, purpose, and a life of your own
• How much responsibility the local partner has when someone moves countries for them
• Why missing your old life doesn’t mean you regret choosing your partner
• How unacknowledged sacrifices can slowly turn into resentment

Moving abroad may technically be one person’s decision, but adapting to a new country affects the entire relationship. The person who moved still needs to take responsibility for building their own life, while the local partner needs to recognise that love alone cannot make a new country feel like home.

Do you think love is enough when someone moves abroad for their partner? And how much responsibility should each person carry?

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Send us your stories, questions, or episode ideas:
Email: [email protected]

Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad: Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@nandafernandes

In this episode of How to Be Local, we talk about one of the most painful sides of living abroad: feeling left out because of the language barrier.

Not just in the obvious situations, like ordering food, making appointments, or making grammar mistakes, but in the moments that hurt more quietly. Sitting at a table with people, everyone is laughing, everyone is talking, the energy is good, but you have no idea what is happening. You are there, but somehow you don’t feel included.

We share our own experiences with feeling invisible in group conversations, the pressure of trying to understand everything, and how exhausting it can be to keep up with slang, inside jokes, cultural references, and fast conversations in a language that is not your first.

We also talk about why inclusion is not only the responsibility of the person learning but friends, family, and partners also play a huge role in helping someone feel welcomed, seen, and part of the group while they are still learning.

We also cover what it feels like when your partner becomes your translator, how heavy that can be for both people, and why in intercultural relationships, support sometimes means being the bridge between two languages, two cultures, and two worlds.

If you ever felt left out abroad because you couldn’t fully follow the conversation, this episode is for you. And if you have a friend or partner who is still learning your language, this is your reminder that inclusion can be simple: slow down, explain the context, switch languages for a moment, or just check in.

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Follow us on social media for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more conversations about living abroad: Podcast Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@howtobelocal_⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Vicky: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@avidadavi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Fernanda: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@nandafernandes