A caller who has struggled with scrupulosity for 20 years—and now sees the same patterns in her daughter—asked Father Simon what true holiness looks like. She fears that her obsessive perfectionism has harmed her family and wonders how to “be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect” without becoming perfectionist. Father Simon turned to the Greek word for “perfect,” teleios, which means reaching the goal or going the full distance—not being flawless. God’s perfection is not meticulous rule-keeping but love itself: to will the good of another. Jesus commands us to love as He loves and to forgive as He forgives, to the same degree and in the same way. God forgets sins completely; He is not fixated on performance. Real holiness focuses on the Father’s goal—sacrificial love—rather than flawless execution or never making mistakes.

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