Everyone handles conflict somehow. But different conflicts respond to different conflict skills. Your skills gap is the difference between the conflict you have, and your ability to deal with that specific conflict. What's conflict competent at your home may not be appropriate for your work, or friend group.
Reflect on your prior conflicts, and how well your familiar conflict patterns worked out for you. What conflict skills do you need so you can do conflict better? If you want your disagreements well-managed before the conflict gets bad, you'll want to know your skill gaps. Those are the skills to practice when you're calm. Conflict competence improves the quality of your relationships.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

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