Welcome to Episode 16, How to Bring Romance Back into Your Marriage. 

The topic of this episode came directly from a listener. I am so excited to cover this topic. So, I want to thank this listener for reaching out. You can also submit a request for a topic by emailing me at reviveyourmidlfemarriage.com.  It is crucial for me to cover issues that matter to you.

Everyone wants romance in their marriages. And, yes, your husband likes romance even though you may think he doesn't. He may shy away from the word, but he does like gestures. Didn't he when you were new in love?  He may not come up with romance ideas like he did when you were first together, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know what romance is. You may have to jog his memory, but hey, we usually have to take the lead in our relationships most of the time, right? 

In the very first podcast episode I did, I talked about intimacy atrophy. If you haven't listened to episode 1, I encourage you to go back and listen to that. You can find it a http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/16. In that episode, I talked about 3 Reasons for Intimacy Atrophy and how to overcome them. One reason for intimacy atrophy is not prioritizing your relationship and allowing other things to take precedence of the marriage relationship. This is the same for romance. No doubt about it, romance can be a challenge while raising a family and establishing a career. But just because it hasn't been foremost in your mind for a while doesn't mean romance in midlife can't be reignited. 

We, unfortunately, have some myths about romance, so I want to cover 4 of them.

One is that romance just naturally happens when you love someone. If this were the case, every married couple would have romance throughout their entire marriage, but I find more often than not, romance can fade over time when it isn't a priority. However, just because you aren't experiencing romance right now doesn't mean the love is gone. 

Then there is the myth that couples must have the same romance ideas to be romantically connected. Not true. Each person has their own idea of romance. Determining what each person needs from the other is the only way to connect romantically. Maybe your spouse finds dinners out together romantic, while you enjoy flowers and sweet notes. Attending to each other's definition of romance is a way of expressing your love and care for the other. 

Another myth is that romance results from big gestures like a trip to an exotic locale or a weekend away together. Please don't get me wrong. Those can be super romantic. Who doesn't love that? But, there can be romance in the small things that make the large romantic excursions primed for even greater romance. With this pandemic, there has never been a time to look at small ways to increase romance. Travel is limited. Nights out dining, listening to bands, or dancing is remarkably limited. Not to mention the financial strain this pandemic has put on many people. 

The last myth is that there isn't enough time to experience romance. Even though the kids are gone, many couples still have demanding careers. At the end of the day, just fixing dinner and cleaning up takes up all you have left after a busy day. I get it. Sometimes, it seems like a lot of work, but honestly, we make it far more complicated than it has to be. I say this a lot in my podcast, your marriage must be intentional, or you are missing the riches of a partnership that thrives instead of just exists. 

Let me give you 3 ways to bring back the romance in your marriage.

Complete show notes to this episode can be found at http://revieyourmidlifemarriage.com/16