Communication is as easy as going to the moon - go up, come down.  In reality communication in conflict is one of the hardest things we do as humans. In this I look at why communication is so difficult and 5 ways you can communicate what you need.

For those who would like help with preparing for mediation for divorce and separation, please download my free workbook "Preparing for Mediation" which sets out some helpful information and asks key questions you need to answer.

Follow link to download: https://www.mapthemaze.com/pl/200003

So how do we communicate what we need more clearly? Follow the five tips below:

· Be clear about our needs – what is we really need? We all have wants, we would all like the conceptual pony, but what do we really need?

· Be confident that whatever insecurities we have, the other person will have some too. In family mediation, everyone is usually a newbie. If you do have concerns about how you will manage speak to your mediator – they can either suggest process changes or support people.

· Be careful and stick to the message! Would it feel better to tell the other person what a disaster they are? And their family? And all the terrible things they did? Maybe. I am not sure it always feels better. Regardless, it will make it highly unlikely they will care to listen to the substantive content if they have to wade through our editorial comments

· Be focused on using language they will understand. Communication is about getting our message through, in order to do so we may need to adapt how we deliver the message to make sure it can be received. There is no point sending a fax if all they get is email.

· Be aware of your communication style and the other person’s. Not everything is about you – they may have preferences / tones / words which you would never use – but come naturally to them. Try and filter the extraneous parts and hear the substantive content.