If you're listening to this episode consider checking out the Youtube video on Map the Maze for visuals.  Today I wanted to talk about flow and the importance of achieving flow state to recharge your batteries.  The end of the year can be challenging for everyone and if you are also experiencing separation and divorce then you may be feeling overwhelmed.   We all know what helps us to clear our minds.  The key though is to schedule and do it.  Ensuring you find time for flow can increase your capacity to manage mediation, negotiating with your former spouse and navigating the transition through separation. 

Welcome back for the concluding part of this interview with Sebastian.  Join us again for the continuation of the conversation.

For more information about Sebastian and his work check out his website:

https://counsellinghongkong.com

After a long summer hiatus Map the Maze is back with a bang.  A two part interview with Sebastian Droesler counsellor and mindfulness coach.  We discuss life, the universe and everything.  So make a cup of tea and settle in to be part of our conversation.

If you would like to find out more about Sebastian's work then check out his website:

https://counsellinghongkong.com

For once a (mostly) positive movie about separation and divorce?   Melissa McCarthy's character goes on a massive journey as she learns of the divorce, goes back to college and learns how to thrive.  I enjoy this for the 80s music and the empowerment.  There are questionable choices and as a family mediator, involving her daughter in the post-separation conflict and the extreme revenge fantasy are not constructive. However as a depiction of someone who thinks that life is over and then decides to reclaim her own power - great choice.  

The mediation scene is brief and problematic.  This is the worst movie mediation scene I could find. The mediator isn't even in the room for most of it! 

Listen in to find out why this is not the way to do mediation.  

Check out the mediation scene here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPvDN...

For the festive season I decided to look at some of the depictions of mediation on screen.  Starting with the Wedding Crashers in which Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan are family mediators. How realistic is the 4 minutes at the beginning of the movie? Listen to find out...  

If you haven't seen this clip, then check out:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_IIy...

Building a team and putting one together can help you get through separation and divorce in the best and most constructive way possible. First step is to identify who you already have in the team.  Then identify any gaps. Use the existing team / word of mouth to help you find the missing elements.  

If you are going to work with a professional then make sure it is someone you feel comfortable with.  Have a preliminary call and see if this is someone you would like to work with.  The work itself is very difficult, it is even harder if you are working with a professional you don't like.  

Lastly make sure you maximise the benefit of working with a professional.  For example, if you are working with a counsellor to help with the grieving process, then let them know you will be mediating.  They will be able to give you tools to help you stay focused and regulate emotion in the mediation session. Make the most of the help you have.

What are the ways you can help yourself?

and make sure to schedule it.

Almost everyone relies on friends and family to help them transition through separation and divorce. What do you need to know? Who is the hawk? moderate? dove? in your tribe?

This month is all about getting help when going through separation and divorce.

Most people will seek professional help during their separation and divorce.  The most common that I see for my clients are: counsellors / lawyers / financial advisors.  Listen in to find out what issues you may want to consider when working with a professional.

This week - what are some of the helpful ideas from James Clear's Atomic Habits that can be adapted for separating or separated co-parents?