I personally admire anyone who’s willing to keep on trying to outdo themselves, especially in the daily grind when it feels like the odds are stacked against you. Regardless of whether you’re an entrepreneur or not, making your dream a reality does not necessarily require you to be self-employed, but it requires dedication, will, and effective time management.

But what happens when your chips are down? When you’re at your weakest moment when you lapse in judgement and feel the temptation to give in.

Does having a cigarette make you feel more energized and focused? Does having an alcoholic drink make you feel less anxious or help wind down tension at the end of a long day? Do you use food, cigarettes, or alcohol to handle negative emotions?

The reality is, people use substances because they have an effect that they appreciate. Right? Like, think back. I know for me, I indulged in all the above, it just felt too good not to. At work, we would go to our local KFC for lunch, even breakfast, it was almost evil to work above a mall where they had every fast food option, or I would always follow my colleagues for a smoke, and as soon as it hit 8 or 9 on a Friday, I was thinking about drinks.

The problem for me, however, is that the effect of substances is short term. Sure you can always take another vodka shot, order another chicken drumstick. You can go to a club and let your friends cheer you on as you chug down half a bottle of vodka, we’ve all been there. But once the effect has passed, you may find that you want to feel those effects again and again, because you haven’t addressed the underlying state of how you’re actually feeling.

Everyone has investment banker friends who have to order a bottle at a club every weekend, it’s how they say they relax and blow steam, and sure, they work hard and play hard. And damn, I bet everyone knows someone who parties too hard unless that person is you. But one weekend without their outlet and I’ll be hanging with them and feeling how tense and irritable they are without partying. They just need more and more to fix their unhappiness.

If you use a substance to help you feel socially relaxed, then when you don’t use, you may find yourself experiencing withdrawal symptoms, avoiding social situations and then feeling like crawling into a ball and hiding underground. Around last year I stopped clubbing because the hangovers got so bad that I would have to spend the whole day indoors managing the pain in my brain. And I didn’t do a very good job of that either, I was grumpy and withdrawn from my friends for most of Sunday. It felt like there was construction work happening just inside my ears. But no one ever told me to slow down, so if you’re someone who feels terrible after a night out, then listen on. I’ve been there, done that. It may be that you have been using substances for so long that you feel like you have lost all the skills at managing your feelings alcohol or other compulsive behaviours like sex or buying lots of things.

Everyone has their way to release, to let steam out, and in your 20s it’s really easy to be tempted by indulgent food or alcohol that allows you to escape or cigarettes that can be a coping mechanism to stress. But at some point, you have to ask yourself is the comedown and pain worth that little high? Is your behaviour sabotaging your looks, intelligence, mental wellbeing, and friendships closest to you?

If you are trying to reduce or stop using substances you will probably find that you have to learn to deal with your feelings in a different way. So