In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I go into a timely and seasonal discussion on how to deal with our triggers brought on by our own family—an especially important issue to cover during the holiday season.

While we enjoy the time we have during our Christmas get-togethers with loved ones, many of us experience certain triggers while interacting with some of our family members.

Almost all of us have those parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and/or grandparents who make the odd aside or ask the occasional insensitive question. They’re more often than not well-meaning, but the remark just doesn’t land the way they intended it to. Can anyone relate?

We’re all in the same boat. I want to dedicate this episode to normalizing this experience, because family, by definition, tends to push certain buttons.

It is okay to be triggered.

If you find yourself reverting to old, destructive patterns… if you suddenly feel small or insignificant as a result of being criticized by visiting family, please know, again, that what you’re feeling is completely normal.

We tend to get triggered the most around family because we let our guard down and we are prone to tapping into our not-so-pleasant childhood experiences.

Acknowledge your inner child

Again, let’s make peace with the fact that we will get triggered among family. In fact, let me go a bit deeper and say that, technically, it’s not you who gets triggered, but your inner child.

After all, among most people, we wouldn’t be affected by certain comments and inquiries, because we’ve done the inner child work. But among those who have known us since the day we were born? That’s a different story.

By becoming aware of and acknowledging our inner child, we have more compassion for ourselves, knowing it isn’t the case that all our hard work has been thrown out the window.

Be the most you you can be.

This is already so important in general, but even more so during the holiday season when we’re around family.

Give yourself grace and accept that we’re all in the same boat, and let these experiences humble you to embrace the fact that you’re still a work-in-progress. Consider these experiences as gifts or at least as wake-up calls pointing to how you can continue to improve.

After all, there’s always work to be done.

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