In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I talk about how to feel your feelings on those bad days.

I woke up this morning and did some breathwork. I felt great: calm, grounded, loved. I spent my morning filled with nothing but pure appreciation for the world around me.

But as the day progressed, I started to feel somewhat out of sorts. I couldn’t put my finger on it… until I finally pinpointed it.

A little background: I’m currently in the middle of watching the series Bridgerton. And in it, two brown women are cast as main characters.

While it was great seeing these women on camera, representing others like myself, I was unfortunately feeling two emotions that I wasn’t quite proud of: jealousy and shame.

I was jealous of their success. And there was a part of me who felt shame at all the lost dreams, all of the possibilities I had, that I didn’t have the bravery and courage to pursue.

I wanted to be a marine biologist. My parents said it wasn’t going to happen. And that was that. I saw the wall, and I backed down.

I saw these women on the show as braver and more resilient than I. They went after their dreams no matter the cost, and I didn’t.

Why is it so important to feel our feelings?

On the other hand, I’m so proud of myself for having the self-awareness to unearth the stories I tell myself through certain feelings.

We are feeling beings. We base our decisions on emotions, as much as we want to believe that we are rational creatures that make decisions based on logic. Rather, we only try to justify our emotional decisions with logic.

When we don’t feel our feelings, they will eventually come out.

And they will come out in ways you don’t regret. They will come out in ways that not only hurt you, but those around you.

We brush things aside when we’re, say, at work. And when we get home and experience the mildest inconvenience via our family, we take it out on them, and immediately regret it.

Welcome your feelings with unconditional acceptance.

I forced myself to sit with my feelings, meditating on those emotions of jealousy and shame that I felt around those two brown actresses in Bridgerton.

I accepted and welcomed that jealousy and shame.

Sit with those physical sensations and, as you get connected to yourself, separate yourself from the emotions. Look at them from the outside looking in.

Every feeling is valid.

Feelings are meant to be felt.

I felt relief as I allowed myself to feel these feelings.

If you don’t deal with your feelings, and you suppress them, you won’t have the energy to be present in the lives of those you love.

We need to be safe and compassionate with ourselves. If we are, that ripples out into the world around you and the people in it.

Understand the power of feeling your feelings.

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