If you listened to last week's interview with Marisa Wheeling Ceisluk, you heard us talking about the power of finding your voice and how it can change your life.  I started thinking, but what if someone doesn't even know what their voice is and needs to find it? It's one thing to see the self-empowerment of finding a voice, and another to find your unique voice and use it.

Sadly, I didn't have a voice until 4 years ago, when I 48. I didn't know how to speak my truth. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what my reality was half of the time. I certainly didn't think my voice would make any difference. Basically, I had no confidence in myself.  

 Ultimately, I felt like I was a victim of my marriage. For instance, I would defer to my husband because I didn't think what I felt or thought was critical, and I made up in my mind that if we disagreed, it would cause a conflict, and I avoided that at all cost. Then, I would be angry with myself and resentful with him even though I had given up my power for not speaking my mind. I did this with my friends and my parents as well. I felt totally powerless and frustrated all the time. 

Ladies here is a truth for you today: we determine our destiny. In the words of Buddha, "No one saves us but ourselves. No one can, and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." 

So Here are Four Ways to Find Your Voice on your Path to Self-Empowerment. 

First, find strong, healthy women who are using their voice and connect where you can. I began looking around in my circle for women like this. I developed relationships with them. I had lunch with them. I talked on the phone with them. I watched and listened to how they were dealing with things in their lives. I asked questions about how they would handle some of the problems I was having. I also started following amazing women I looked up to on social media. I read their blogs, posts, and books. I even listened to podcasts of strong women. I began to emulate these women to find my voice. 

Second, determine where in your marriage you are holding back. Here are just a few examples and they are not an exhaustive list by any means.  Are you trying to live up to your husband's expectations for you? Are you carrying the load of the household without asking for his help? Are you accepting that your husband is disengaged or emotionally distant and going your separate ways? Are you having obligatory sex? Maybe you are allowing disrespect from your husband. I suggest you take the time to make a list. This will help you examine where you are and get you started.  

You can find the complete show notes to this episode at http://reviveyourmidlifemarriage.com/25