How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships.

TIMESTAMPS (click on a time below to be taken to that section)

0:00 Intro

0:17 How agreeing (on the surface) can make things worse *

2:10 Not living in integrity

2:51 One Solution: Validation can always work *

3:36 "100% of the time: if Matt doesn't agree, he chooses himself over me"

6:14 Past events + current events suggest it will continue *

7:42 "I didn't try to hurt you, so stop attacking me"

8:54 One Solution: We invalidate just to have an interesting conversation (try this instead)

9:46 How to be the "Monster-Conquering Hero"

10:55 In the next episode: Defensiveness & what can be done instead

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https://thecouplecure.com - Jay and Lori's website

https://matthewfray.com - Matthew Fray's website

https://pornpainhealed.com - Lori's site for betrayed partners

https://porniskillingme.com - Jay's site for porn addiction recovery

#trust

#validation

#safety

#relationships